Wildflower9 is offline Wildflower9 Post #1  May 27,2009, 11:15am
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Recently, I worked through GC with a match and never saw a photo. I clicked on the photo tab and it indicated that the match had chosen to show his photo at a later stage of communication. Great, I figured it show up eventually! Each time we communicated, I checked to see if his photo appeared. No pic.

I completely understand the desire to be selected based on factors other than appearance but I don't think physical attraction can be completely eliminated from the equation ... at least not for me.

For this match, it was up to me to initiate OC and I decided to send a photo nudge prior to taking the next step. Still no pic. After a few days I received an Icebreaker from him saying, "Would you like to chat?". I couldn't figure out a way to say "No, I want to see a photo first." I know it is his choice to post a photo or not, and he chose not to. I chose to close. Almost immediately, I received a request to re-open and a photo. Go figure! By that point, any shred of interest I may have had was gone.

What's with the reluctance to share a photo? Any thoughts?
 
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kewlbri125 is offline kewlbri125 Post #2  May 27,2009, 11:21am
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In my experience, reluctance to share a photo means they don't think they are very attractive. Or at least attractive enough to draw interest. Whether they are right or not isn't the issue to me. I think we all want someone with confidence who is comfortable being who they are. If you aren't willing to share your photo, this obviously doesn't describe you.

But I agree. There are several matches I have communicated with because I was interested in their profile only to see a photo and lose interest entirely. I have also closed people who seemed great because I didn't like what I saw in the photo. It's simple attraction. If you aren't attracted to someone, you don't care how great a personality they have.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  May 27,2009, 11:34am
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As a general rule I close matches that do not have a photo posted as I figure that it is an indication that they are hiding something or playing games. That said I have communicated with matches who did not have photos posted because they were Free Communication Weekenders and they did provide a photo once we had exchanged personal e-mail addresses.

I did have a match that had no photo posted but I was certain that I had seen her on Match where she did have a photo posted. When we got to OC I asked her if she was going to share a photo (I also asked if she was 'name' on Match). She said that she was not aware her photos were not shown and did turn on Photo Sharing.

Rather than having sent the Photo Nudge after going through the Guided Communications steps I would have just asked for a photo as my first OC message. If one was not forthcomming I would have closed at that point, for the No Photo reason.
 
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illustrator is offline illustrator Post #4  May 27,2009, 11:51am
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kewlbri125 wrote :
In my experience, reluctance to share a photo meansthey don't think they are very attractive. Or at least attractive enough to draw interest. Whether they are right or not isn't the issue to me. I think we all want someone with confidence who is comfortable being who they are. If you aren't willing to share your photo, this obviously doesn't describe you.

And what do you do when people have the confidence and are comfortable to show their pics . . . . .


kewlbri125 wrote :
But I agree. There are several matches I have communicated with because I was interested in their profile only to see a photo and lose interest entirely. I have also closed people who seemed great because I didn't like what I saw in the photo. It's simple attraction. If you aren't attracted to someone, you don't care how great a personality they have.
Last edited by illustrator; May 27,2009 at 11:55am. Reason: Dilly dally.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #5  May 27,2009, 11:54am
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Wildflower, Gr8tguy's suggestion is a good one. I do believe there is an icebreaker available that allows you to request a photo.

Like many others, I usually close profiles with no photos. If they indicate they will share a photo later in the communication stage and don't do so prior to completion of GC, I usually close.
 
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kewlbri125 is offline kewlbri125 Post #6  May 27,2009, 12:03pm
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illustrator wrote :
And what do you do when people have the confidence and are comfortable to show their pics . . . . .

Thank you for twisting what I said into something I didn't say.

I'll try again...If people don't have photos, I close them. If they do have photos and I'm NOT attracted to them, I close them. If they have photos and I AM attracted to them, and the profile is interesting, I initiate communication.

Likewise, when someone responds, I assume they find me interesting and are attracted to me because I have photos posted. If they are a free weekender, in the first e-mail I send them I attach a photo because I know they haven't seen one. I think that's only fair. If they don't want to pursue anything with me for whatever that reason that is, I want to know as soon as possible.
 
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kartini is offline kartini Post #7  May 27,2009, 2:39pm
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NO Photos: "Face" reality-it doesn't matter how long or how long you email and email intimate we may become, there must be some 'photo' connection to continue on to a possible meeting.
Why no photos????? Frustrating~~~
kartini
 
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Wildflower9 is offline Wildflower9 Post #8  May 27,2009, 5:39pm
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kewlbri125, I think you and I may be on the same page. You pretty much confirmed what I was thinking. Thank you.

Gr8Guyn2008, thanks for the suggestion. I considered it, but there was no remaining interest in proceeding and I felt it best to close at that point. Maybe next time.

Since it was really only the reluctance to share photos that I was interested in your comments on ... feel free to carry on the rest of the thread without me!
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #9  May 27,2009, 6:26pm
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He looked like Jason Voorhies in the Friday the 13th movies
 
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