Height & Weight selection double standard...?


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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #1  May 26,2009, 12:10pm
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Ok
I understand that eHarmony matches people according to personality traits. The thing I don't understand is the height selection. A match can select what height they want their match to be; however, when it comes to weight or body type preference, there is no selection.

Do you think this is biased towards women's tastes? I usually never hear men say "She was 2" shorter than me...it's not going to work". I have met several women who state they would never date a guy shorter than them. Fine, that is their choice. So why does eHarmony have a selection for this? Really, what does height have to do with personality traits anyways?

Regarding body type (usually men's tastes, as they are very visual)...Body type can reflect lifestyle habits. These habits include leisure time activities and personal choices, whatever they may be. I'm not here to judge other's lifestyle habits. I do know what my choices are and what I'm looking for. So why doesn't eHarmony have a selection for this? Seems only fair correct?
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #2  May 26,2009, 12:23pm
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KungFu,

There is a duplicate thread on your topic floating around somewhere, possibly on the Dating board. I think the gist of the previous discussion was that height is objective, while body type is too open to interpretation. I agree with you that height standards are generally much more exclusive of men than they are of women, and at a glance does seem unfair. But be it an early rejection or a late one, many women are rejected because of their weight/body type. I also observe that one preference seems to receive more scrutiny/criticism than the other on these boards (I'm not going to say which one, lol).

So I think that's where we are right now. Let's see what other people think.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #3  May 26,2009, 12:38pm
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It's been made clear here numerous times that many (most) men also want a woman who is shorter than him, so the height thing works both ways.

I don't actually see a way for me to indicate a preferred height range on my profile. I can indicate whether height is important, but can't say anything about whether I'm looking for someone who is 5'4" or 6'4"...

In any event, my matches have ranged from about 5'3" to 6'6", so I'm not sure it matters what you put anyway!

With respect to lifestyle preferences, there are many ways other than weight to measure that (weight isn't a very reliable measure of that, in fact), including via the information in one's profile.

But yeah; this topic has been covered a lot...lol.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #4  May 26,2009, 12:46pm
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neardc wrote :
It's been made clear here numerous times that many (most) men also want a woman who is shorter than him, so the height thing works both ways.

I don't actually see a way for me to indicate a preferred height range on my profile. I can indicate whether height is important, but can't say anything about whether I'm looking for someone who is 5'4" or 6'4"...

In any event, my matches have ranged from about 5'3" to 6'6", so I'm not sure it matters what you put anyway!

With respect to lifestyle preferences, there are many ways other than weight to measure that (weight isn't a very reliable measure of that, in fact), including via the information in one's profile.

But yeah; this topic has been covered a lot...lol.
The height preferences differ slightly in that many women have mentioned the "heel factor;" that is, just being an inch or two taller than them is not always enough. But you are right, in general men and women both have height preferences. I don't think KungFu is referring to listing a height preference; I think he is referring to the fact that height is a part of a person's eHa profile, but unlike other dating sites, you don't put your body type on an eHa profile.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #5  May 26,2009, 12:59pm
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Yes; but the profile does allow you to discern body type from photos, so it's still part of the package of information that you get for most profiles. In most cases, we are not kept blind as to appearance.

Of course, many thin people are not fit or active so just because someone has a particular shape does not mean that you won't still have to look to other clues (or conversation) to discern lifestyle compatibility with respect to health and fitness.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #6  May 26,2009, 1:10pm
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neardc wrote :
Yes; but the profile does allow you to discern body type from photos, so it's still part of the package of information that you get for most profiles. In most cases, we are not kept blind as to appearance.

Of course, many thin people are not fit or active so just because someone has a particular shape does not mean that you won't still have to look to other clues (or conversation) to discern lifestyle compatibility with respect to health and fitness.
If cropped strategically, a photo does not always reveal a person's actual body type. I am sure that you don't do this, but a lot of women do it and have become quite good at it. Only a full-body photo (assuming it is up-to-date) gives the most accurate indication, but only about 30% of photos were full-body shots.

And I agree with you that one's body size alone is insufficient to determine their lifestyle. Additionally, people's metabolisms change over time.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  May 26,2009, 1:15pm
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KungFuFtr wrote :
Do you think this is biased towards women's tastes?

I agree with this, and it is the same strategy I would have used. Anything which drives more women to use eHarmony is something that benefits us.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #8  May 26,2009, 1:21pm
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tbesq wrote :
If cropped strategically, a photo does not always reveal a person's actual body type. I am sure that you don't do this, but a lot of women do it and have become quite good at it.
True, but it's a start. And you can always ask for more pics if you're worried (and yes; I realize that those can still be deceptive...lol). At some point, you just have to take a chance, though, if someone "appears" to fit your physical criteria along with your other requirements (this is also an argument that people make for meeting earlier in the process).

You're right; I don't have strategically cropped pics in my eH profile...lol! Actually, I have so few photos of myself at all (I'm almost always behind the camera instead of in front of it) that if I started wanting to get too creative I would probably end up without any at all to post. That being said, I'm not going to deliberately post a pic that is terribly unflattering, either (nor should anyone...lol). I have some eye-level closeups that a 2-year old took of my backside that will not be going on my profile!
 
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Benevolence32 is offline Benevolence32 Post #9  May 26,2009, 1:23pm
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I don't really have a problem with them including height as part of your profile. I'm 5'9'' a very average height, not short or tall, so I do wonder sometimes if I get closed out just because I'm not 5'11''. EHarmony doesn't match on income or body type either one so that evens out.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #10  May 26,2009, 1:38pm
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Just FYI, here is a link to the older thread: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...an-weight.html (Is height more relevant than weight?)
 
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