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bwr bwr is offline
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bwr wants to become relevant again

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I hate these free eH weekends. I get teased and bombarded with matches who go poof after the weekend. All I got is more false hopes and frustration, but the usual nada. This is even after I swore to myself I would not take the free weekend seriously, but I fell prey to the free weend trap again...

A perfect example is there was one of the matches who I really hit it off with and seemed like a good match this weekend. She took her time responding all weekend, and she had had a very complete profile, so I figured she was a member. But at the last minute on Monday (yesterday), she stated in the 3rd stage in one of the answers to my questions that it was a free weekend and she was not going to become a member and go poof if I didn't quickly respond. This was like at 8 PM and I didn't get home til 9:30. I quickly responded after reading it, but midnight soon hit and got no response. Arrrggggghhh!!!

Another yet flakey encounter. If she truely wanted to continue with me but her profile was going poof, I would think she would have left me an email address or number in the last round of questions, or would have responded earlier instead of waiting till it was almost expired. Of if she was really interested, she would just shell out a few bucks and go with a month of membership.

Why did I even get my hopes up ?

But I do partly blame eH for this because they refuse to indicate a match is an unpaid member. I actually called up customer service a while back and got into a 1 hour heated argument with them over this, but they would not budge. It's all about money to eH. I even wrote a letter to eH voicing that non-paid members should be known to all paid members, but I got no response.
- May 26th, 2009, 02:17 am
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DennisWisconsin DennisWisconsin is offline
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Relax and try not to take it all so seriously... You will find someone eventually. Women can sense if you are all stressed out... Be happy with yourself and you will attract someone.
- May 26th, 2009, 03:32 am
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coffeegeek coffeegeek is offline
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coffeegeek You just can't be nice to some people ...

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bwr wrote :
I hate these free eH weekends. I get teased and bombarded with matches who go poof after the weekend. All I got is more false hopes and frustration, but the usual nada. This is even after I swore to myself I would not take the free weekend seriously, but I fell prey to the free weend trap again...

A perfect example is there was one of the matches who I really hit it off with and seemed like a good match this weekend. She took her time responding all weekend, and she had had a very complete profile, so I figured she was a member. But at the last minute on Monday (yesterday), she stated in the 3rd stage in one of the answers to my questions that it was a free weekend and she was not going to become a member and go poof if I didn't quickly respond. This was like at 8 PM and I didn't get home til 9:30. I quickly responded after reading it, but midnight soon hit and got no response. Arrrggggghhh!!!

Another yet flakey encounter. If she truely wanted to continue with me but her profile was going poof, I would think she would have left me an email address or number in the last round of questions, or would have responded earlier instead of waiting till it was almost expired. Of if she was really interested, she would just shell out a few bucks and go with a month of membership.

Why did I even get my hopes up ?

But I do partly blame eH for this because they refuse to indicate a match is an unpaid member. I actually called up customer service a while back and got into a 1 hour heated argument with them over this, but they would not budge. It's all about money to eH. I even wrote a letter to eH voicing that non-paid members should be known to all paid members, but I got no response.
You know, some of us didn't even get a nibble over the free weekend. So maybe you should stop complaining and start thinking of it as getting some good practice in for when you find "the one".
- May 26th, 2009, 04:58 am
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estee estee is offline
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bwr wrote :
I hate these free eH weekends. I get teased and bombarded with matches who go poof after the weekend. All I got is more false hopes and frustration, but the usual nada. This is even after I swore to myself I would not take the free weekend seriously, but I fell prey to the free weend trap again...

A perfect example is there was one of the matches who I really hit it off with and seemed like a good match this weekend. She took her time responding all weekend, and she had had a very complete profile, so I figured she was a member. But at the last minute on Monday (yesterday), she stated in the 3rd stage in one of the answers to my questions that it was a free weekend and she was not going to become a member and go poof if I didn't quickly respond. This was like at 8 PM and I didn't get home til 9:30. I quickly responded after reading it, but midnight soon hit and got no response. Arrrggggghhh!!!

Another yet flakey encounter. If she truely wanted to continue with me but her profile was going poof, I would think she would have left me an email address or number in the last round of questions, or would have responded earlier instead of waiting till it was almost expired. Of if she was really interested, she would just shell out a few bucks and go with a month of membership.

Why did I even get my hopes up ?

But I do partly blame eH for this because they refuse to indicate a match is an unpaid member. I actually called up customer service a while back and got into a 1 hour heated argument with them over this, but they would not budge. It's all about money to eH. I even wrote a letter to eH voicing that non-paid members should be known to all paid members, but I got no response.


I did had an experience with something like this in another site a couple of months ago. most of the site dont indicate that some matches are non-paying member, maybe at the begining of thier registration.

This was it, i was the non-paying member and i will tell you the reason, although 100 of matches were being sent to me.

1. i dont use mastercard
2. or visacard,..or paypal,..e.t.c
guest the only card i was using then was a very simple one,..we call maestrocard here in germany through post bank.
so these were one of the reasons,.. why i wasnt able to communicate with my matches and that was really sad, because most of them did sent mails i wasnt able to read.

So there was something like one free mail at a time if you are not a subscriber. that is,.. you can send just one mail to your match, and if you include your e-mail in that first mail, it will be omitted by the site on getting to his or her mail box. but you still can not be able to read his or her reply untill you become a subscriber ( paying member).

So should it be with the first free email they normally allow new registered non-paying member to send (mean not in eHarmony site, in another site) can be included with his or her e-mails, that would have helped a bit or better for the site to indicate that these member who is not responding to your e-mail is not a paying member, that would also be more better.
- July 2nd, 2009, 02:06 pm
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danimal1968 danimal1968 is offline
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If you get a communication request from someone with a bunch of one-word answers in their profile and no picture, it's a virtual certainty that they're a non paying member.
- July 3rd, 2009, 06:54 am
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meanminicooper meanminicooper is offline
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with the slow pace of progress in EH communication it seems rare to even get to OC with someone over the free weekend. Plus, you cant see photos if you are not a paying member, so basically non-payers have to fire off a million salvos and then will draw ire from the members who do pay later on.
- July 3rd, 2009, 07:21 am
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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I hate these "free" weekends, too. I keep hoping I'll get bombarded with matches like everyone else.

What I actually got.... is ONE match. And he's definitely not a match (he's obviously obsessed with tennis and golf, very competitively at that, and I'm not an athletic person at all), but I'm answering all the questions out of boredom. Even on the first round of questions, he picked my least favorite answer on every one of them.... oh well.

In my experience, though, the speed of communication picks up over a free weekend, with the guy trying to get to OC and give me his real e-mail or phone number before the time runs out. At the same time, it kind of irks me that I'm a paying member and he's trying to sneak in during a free weekend. Makes me wonder what other areas of life he'll be cheap about.
- July 4th, 2009, 12:59 am
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thedarknite thedarknite is offline
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
I hate these "free" weekends, too. I keep hoping I'll get bombarded with matches like everyone else.

What I actually got.... is ONE match. And he's definitely not a match (he's obviously obsessed with tennis and golf, very competitively at that, and I'm not an athletic person at all), but I'm answering all the questions out of boredom. Even on the first round of questions, he picked my least favorite answer on every one of them.... oh well.

In my experience, though, the speed of communication picks up over a free weekend, with the guy trying to get to OC and give me his real e-mail or phone number before the time runs out. At the same time, it kind of irks me that I'm a paying member and he's trying to sneak in during a free weekend. Makes me wonder what other areas of life he'll be cheap about.
Yeah I too hate the freeweekends. I think the reason they never end up joining is because they can't see your pics. They may like your profile but why would they join? They have no idea who they maybe communicating with.
I recall when i first signed up for the "review you matches for free" thing and I finally joined after about a week, because I wanted to see the pics of the people I was matched with, not because I felt a connection to one of the profiles.
- July 4th, 2009, 02:44 am
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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I have to laugh... the one match I got on this free weekend is up to the second questions, and he used the space to answer one of my questions to say this: "I have been given a 4 day free trail by eHarmony. There is no way I can meet anyone going through this Q&A process. I think I have been gamed by eHarmony. Hopefully this doesn't offend you but .... if you like, please call me at (gives phone number)."

While his picture looks nice, he's in a similar profession to mine, and he is also "spiritual but not religious," not a single answer to any of my questions so far have led me to believe we will be compatible. He's always early for things/I am generally running late. He doesn't believe in soul mates/I have had 3 in my life. At the end of a bad day he'd try joking around with me/I want someone to listen and rub my shoulders. He's an early bird/I'm a night owl. I'm not fond of big dogs/he has a Great Dane/Black Lab mix. He's really competitively into golf and tennis, and sharing those interests is among his "must haves..." while I am not athletic. And one of his "can't stands" is among the only two that raise a yellow-to-red flag to me (I don't put a lot of weight on the must haves/can't stands, but they do give you a glimpse as to how the other person has been treated in prior relationships).

So.... I think I am unlikely to call him even though he has already generously supplied his phone number with a day and a half left to his free trial.
- July 4th, 2009, 12:16 pm
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JoeB1901 JoeB1901 is offline
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If the match is "worth it" you should be able to request open contact and in that open contact request give your email. If you have liked their answers thus far, this should give you a chance to talk to them regardless if they go "paid" or not.
- July 4th, 2009, 12:16 pm
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