If you match a can't stand, do you keep talking to the match?


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stevex is offline stevex Post #21  May 26,2009, 6:09pm
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ceec wrote :
If you look at the "must Haves/Can't stands" it says.......Excessively Overweight.
You don't appear to me to be "Excessively Overweight". That's just my opinion.I take that to mean Very Large.
I wish you good fortune,you look like a cutey to me.............
Thanks for the compliment. Though I haven't heard from her in two days after sending a photo, so I am not betting she was attracted to me. That is fine though, I wouldn't want to be with someone who wasn't honestly attracted to me.
 
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CityChick is offline CityChick Post #22  June 18,2009, 11:46am
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stevex wrote :
This is a very interesting question because I have recently been matched with someone who listed one of their can't stands as their date being overweight. Now I find it very interesting that if that was one of her can't stands that she even responded to my initial questions. So now I have the chance to write her an open communication message or close her. Now I have six photos on my profile, my primary photo shows from my waist up and if you ask me it clearly shows that I am overweight.

So I have a few choices here, close her, take a chance and keep talking to her, mention to her that I noticed that and be honest about it up front. What would YOU do?
I've had the same issue with several men - it seems men might be a bit more concerned with this than women. The way I've handled it is during the second round of questions I've used several questions. I've stated that I am not a gym rat and not looking for anyone who's looking for a gym partner. I've mentioned that I'm more curvy than thin or toned but that it seems to work for me with many men. Then I tell them to look at my pictures because they are a real representation of me. I've also asked if they are looking for someone to have a deep relationship or would a women's body change his feelings - all people age and change and that seems like a scary person to me.

But the second set of questions leaves plenty of room to get specific and to me that's an important issue so I ask. i don't want someone picking me because I look good in my pictures. That's easy and not what I'm on EH for
 
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jagirl is offline jagirl Post #23  July 4,2009, 12:00pm
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I wish I had read this thread before closing out a potentially great match. I am very new to eharmony and this was one of my first communication experiences.

When I saw overweight in his CS, by reflex I closed him out. I thought about it later and realized that he had seen my picture so should have figured out that I was not Barbie but was still interested in communicating with me.

I asked eharmony to reopen the match but i haven't heard from him. We were moving along at a good pace and i wonder if he has not re-opened because he was hurt that i closed him out so abruptly.

any thoughts?
 
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