suzibelle is offline suzibelle Post #1  May 21,2009, 8:58pm
suzibelle's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2009

Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates

Posts: 4

See profile

I moved overseas to the Arabian Gulf for a job last August. While the ratio of men to women is off the charts, there are actually very few men to choose from. Education, and cultural and religious compatibility factor into this heavily. I'm not looking for an American necessarily, but having been married to someone of a very different culture and religion, I've learned that relationships are challenging enough without those factors to contend with.

So, I joined eHarmony (and a few other sites) a few months ago. The number of matches I've received for my country of residence and even the whole Gulf region has been very low. I've given it the old college try-initiating contact with almost all of them (that's how few there are). I then opened up my range to include Europe and N.America hoping that I might connect with people who traveled out my way, had work here, etc. While I've increased the number of matches marginally, many don't bother to view my profile or close out communication citing: The physical distance between us is too great.

I see some interesting matches around the world, but absolutely nothing has come of it despite my attempts to initiate. I think that while people set up their profile to match with anyone/anywhere, that so few people really want to act on that. So where does that leave me? It eHarmony just not going to work?

-Dateless in Abu Dhabi
 
  Reply With Quote
DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  May 22,2009, 7:04am
DDjr's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

Posts: 848

See profile

SB,

(You may already have this in your profile.) As soon as you reasonably can in your About Me profile, I would state, "I am in Current Country working a job for X years. I am from Normally Live and am going to be moving back there."
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  May 22,2009, 2:43pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,685

See profile

Welcome. And, good question.
 
  Reply With Quote
meri75 is offline meri75 Post #4  May 22,2009, 4:05pm
meri75's Avatar

really wants a double dissolution in 2011!

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2009

Australia

Posts: 5,112

See profile

suzibelle wrote :
I moved overseas to the Arabian Gulf for a job last August. While the ratio of men to women is off the charts, there are actually very few men to choose from. Education, and cultural and religious compatibility factor into this heavily. I'm not looking for an American necessarily, but having been married to someone of a very different culture and religion, I've learned that relationships are challenging enough without those factors to contend with.

So, I joined eHarmony (and a few other sites) a few months ago. The number of matches I've received for my country of residence and even the whole Gulf region has been very low. I've given it the old college try-initiating contact with almost all of them (that's how few there are). I then opened up my range to include Europe and N.America hoping that I might connect with people who traveled out my way, had work here, etc. While I've increased the number of matches marginally, many don't bother to view my profile or close out communication citing: The physical distance between us is too great.

I see some interesting matches around the world, but absolutely nothing has come of it despite my attempts to initiate. I think that while people set up their profile to match with anyone/anywhere, that so few people really want to act on that. So where does that leave me? It eHarmony just not going to work?

-Dateless in Abu Dhabi
Hi. Same thing happens to me. I didn't keep the message I got from eH when I queried this, but it was something like that I was being matched with men because of my distance preferences, not theirs.
 
  Reply With Quote
TaoShaffer is offline TaoShaffer Post #5  May 23,2009, 10:23am
TaoShaffer's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2008

San Diego, CA

Posts: 177

See profile

First off: DON'T TELL PEOPLE YOU ARE LIVING OVERSEAS.

Yes, this is misleading.
Yes, it might make you feel guilty.

I've been on Okinawa and using Eha for a year and a half now and as soon as I listed my residence in the US and took out where I actually am atm, I got way more traffic.

Get your moneys worth out of Eharmony. If the other person can't handle that you are a busy person, then you don't need to be communicating with them anyway.

--Tao
 
  Reply With Quote
noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #6  May 23,2009, 10:48am
noseyparker's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 3,064

See profile

deleted
Last edited by noseyparker; May 23,2009 at 9:38pm. Reason: may not be what the OP wants to hear
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  May 23,2009, 11:29am
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,685

See profile

I trust that the OP is exactly who she says she is.

I had one overseas match, from Germany. She had in her profile a US zip code, and wrote she was working in Germany and would be returning to the US in five months.

My options were to continue to have e-mail periodically for five months, or close the match. I decided I would continue to e-mail (at least, unless she wrote something that caused me to stop), until / unless I found a new partner locally. No cost and no risk in e-mailing.

I think you will have a much slower activity level, but eHahaha can work for you in your situation. If it does, you will not be the first.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  May 23,2009, 7:27pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Ignoring the very real situations mentioned about scammers for the moment. You are encountering two problems.

First is that a great many of your matches are going to be non-paying and inactive members who can't reply.

The second situation is that while many people will put as their distance setting a very large range if they are actually interested in dating and building a relationship it is very difficult to do when scheduling a date involves an airplane ticket.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« What questions I should ask during open communiciation? | Using eHarmony | While we're on statistics . . . »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:15pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0