He poofed and now he's back... wth?!


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redevil999 is offline redevil999 Post #1  May 18,2009, 3:13pm
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Back in January when I first came across this board, I participated in the free communication weekend. I made it to open communication with one man who promptly sent me an email with his offsite email and phone number saying he was looking forward to meeting me. I sent him an e-card on Monday saying I was looking forward to getting to know him better.

He sent me a Thank you e-card. It was kind of weird as he put something about me being beautiful in it even though he'd never seen me and we hadn't communicated enough for him to realize I have a beautiful personality.
Did his thank you count as his turn?

I waited until Saturday and sent him an email. I showed some interest for some things in his profile and shared a little about myself in those same areas. It was about 10 sentences long and just enough to start a conversation without being too long-winded (believe me, much shorter than this post!). The subject line was "Getting to know you...". I finished with "So,tell me a little about yourself.....I get an email back this morning... 1 sentence, very brief reference to one of the things I had asked about. And then he said if you'd like to meet me call me and again put his phone number.

I sent him an email saying I'd like to get to know him a little through email first and asked why he didn't answer my questions via email. Was I was missing something?

He sent me an email that said "yes", his phone number and "please call me".

I closed him. Then he sent me an email asking why I closed him and was it a mistake?

I sent him an email saying I really wanted to communicate through email first and it seemed he wasn't willing to do that.

I never heard back from him.

Today I get a re-open request "I think if we met, you might have different feelings about who I am. "

Has he been in a coma for the last 4 months? Anybody got any idea about this behavior?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  May 18,2009, 3:37pm
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I understand four hours.

I tolerate four days.

Four months? Unless there are 57 time zones separating you, wth?! I can’t recall more than two weeks from matching to meeting.

It is not clear … you have been idle with this man since Jan and now sent this “e-card” (what?), or have communicated since Jan? (From context, it seems the former.)

***

If all it is is that he prefers to speak on the phone, I’d say go and give him a chance. If he made attempts to further things and you didn’t reciprocate, I don’t see an issue on his end at all. If he is constantly trying to control the mode of communication and is overriding your inputs in that regard, I would be concerned.
 
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redevil999 is offline redevil999 Post #3  May 18,2009, 3:47pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I understand four hours.

I tolerate four days.

Four months? Unless there are 57 time zones separating you, wth?! I can’t recall more than two weeks from matching to meeting.

It is not clear … you have been idle with this man since Jan and now sent this “e-card” (what?), or have communicated since Jan? (From context, it seems the former.)

***

If all it is is that he prefers to speak on the phone, I’d say go and give him a chance. If he made attempts to further things and you didn’t reciprocate, I don’t see an issue on his end at all. If he is constantly trying to control the mode of communication and is overriding your inputs in that regard, I would be concerned.
The e-card was sent right when we went into OC. I've had no communication with him since Jan. I closed because I did feel he was trying to control the communication without actually communicating that. He never said why he wouldn't answer the questions I sent by email, he just didn't communicate other than a sentence or two and his phone number with a request that I call him. He didn't address the fact that I requested we communicate by email... just ignored it.
 
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chapgirl is offline chapgirl Post #4  May 18,2009, 4:02pm
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I would be concerned and keep it closed. He has shown a lack of respect for you and what your requests have been. If he is doing that now, I wouldn't feel comfortable with meeting him.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  May 18,2009, 4:11pm
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I’m running out of defense here.

I have been known to avoid e-mail questions which I felt are too long-winded, too long, or simply too odd (to have in the OC period).

Last round: I can see taking up exactly where I left off, even over time, for someone I thought had disappeared totally.

Gotta say, this is not encouraging.
 
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redevil999 is offline redevil999 Post #6  May 18,2009, 4:12pm
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chapgirl wrote :
I would be concerned and keep it closed. He has shown a lack of respect for you and what your requests have been. If he is doing that now, I wouldn't feel comfortable with meeting him.
No, I'm not planning on meeting him. I was getting a creepy controlling vibe back then. I just wondered if maybe someone could enlighten me as to what he could possibly be thinking sending that message.
 
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redevil999 is offline redevil999 Post #7  May 18,2009, 6:25pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I’m running out of defense here.
Wait... was it you?!!

D_Lion wrote :
I have been known to avoid e-mail questions which I felt are too long-winded, too long, or simply too odd (to have in the OC period).
Hmmm They were questions about his hobby and clarifying some things from gc and his profile. Nothing complicated or lengthy.

D_Lion wrote :
Last round: I can see taking up exactly where I left off, even over time, for someone I thought had disappeared totally.

Gotta say, this is not encouraging.
I closed the guy because communication is a big deal to me. I'd like nothing better than to have a guy say exactly what's on his mind. His evasiveness was tedious right off the bat.
Last edited by redevil999; May 18,2009 at 6:29pm. Reason: Because I made a boo boo.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #8  May 18,2009, 6:30pm
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Sounds like you made the right call.
 
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Tank is offline Tank Post #9  May 18,2009, 9:48pm
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I would suspect he was a scam artist by all the inconsistencies
 
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redevil999 is offline redevil999 Post #10  May 19,2009, 1:24pm
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Tank wrote :
I would suspect he was a scam artist by all the inconsistencies

I did wonder wonder about that myself... especially with the pressure being made to get on the phone.
 
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