When reading your match's profile...


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mkucsera is offline mkucsera Post #1  May 16,2009, 3:09pm
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When reading my match's profiles, what am I looking for? How can you tell if you 'click' with a person from their profile? So far I've been turned off by all the profiles I've read; I closed 8 matches today because of that. I just can't imagine spending ten minutes talking to some of the matches e-harmony sent me. But I wonder if I am being too critical...how can I tell if I am? Advice please!
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #2  May 16,2009, 4:49pm
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What, in particular, has been off-putting about the profiles?
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #3  May 16,2009, 5:05pm
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Can you think about what you are hoping to find in a profile? That might answer why the current profiles are turning you off.

Some days my matches are clearly not a match but if I see something that catches my eye I send questions. I rather pursue the possibility of a maybe defining that into a yes or no with the questions.

Some people just don't have a good profile and reveal more as you talk with them. Others have a great profile and something shows up later. Just define what you are looking for as while dealbreakers are important...being too picky could weed out the right person for you.
 
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septembergrace is offline septembergrace Post #4  May 16,2009, 5:16pm
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I joined today, got 6 matches and only found 1 that I might be interested in. I closed 5.... Don't ever feel like you are being too critical or chosey when viewing someone's profile. After all, this is the person you will potentialy be spending alot of time with.
 
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Blackadder is offline Blackadder Post #5  May 16,2009, 7:25pm
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There is only so much you can write about yourself. You have a whole lifetime to put a a very small space. My profile basically reflects what I was thinking that day or my most recent experiences. I've looked at a few matches who've put things in their profile and I've thought "wow, I like to do that stuff too" then think I should go change my profile to reflect what I missed putting in. If I did that every time there wouldn't be enough space or it would be a very long read.

A lot of times people put in their profile what they think others want to hear. I see it all the time. Every woman loves sports and the outdoors? I don't think so. I certainly don't any am not looking for any that do. People just need to be honest about themselves and it'll all work out.

People are more complex than a few paragraphs in a profile. Which is why we have dating, to filter through the people we don't want to spend our lives with. Some people can't write well. On paper they're dull and boring, but in person they might be charming, interesting and fun. You never know.
 
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septembergrace is offline septembergrace Post #6  May 17,2009, 5:07am
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Very well put Blackadder!!
 
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NlifeNluv is offline NlifeNluv Post #7  May 17,2009, 10:06am
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When I used the service the same thoughts went through my head but usually there was at least one comment or feeling a profile gave me that made me interested to start communicating with a match. If I wasn't sure then I left it open and waited to see if they started anything first and gave them a chance to make a better impression.
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #8  May 17,2009, 4:33pm
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My SO's and my photos helped draw us to each other, albeit for different reasons.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #9  May 17,2009, 7:20pm
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I think there are two different things to consider here. I think the first is that there is probably nothing wrong with having a number of different matches not interest you. If you thing about the statistics and the number of people on this earth there is a very large number of people who are not meant to be with you. On the other hand, I think that there are some people who perhaps do not have the greatest profiles, I will generally give them a chance and see how it goes.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #10  May 18,2009, 9:02am
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Being turned off by ALL of the profiles of your matches seems very high.

First, are you sure you have your "Black&White" questions set in such a way as to maximize the desirability of the matches you are getting?

Second, did you REALLY HONESTLY take the personality profile? It's very easy to answer the questions as you think you are expected to answer, and this will have a profound effect on who you are matched with.

If you are turned off by all you matches I suspect that the personality profile is to blame.
 
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