christina72800 is offline christina72800 Post #1  May 14,2009, 9:42am
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I have been communicating with this man from eharmony for awhile and I recently suggested we talk on the phone since our emails were getting rather long and I thought it would be easier to speak on the phone. We exchanged numbers and I gave him a call one night and left him a voice message. He did not get back to me for a few days and I thought that maybe he was not longer interested so I emailed him to see what had happened. He emailed me back immediately (within minutes) to apologize for not calling and that the reason why he didn't call back was that he bought a condo that same week and with his impeding closing date and with late nights at work, he didnt have a chance to call me but that he hoped to call me soon. That was one week ago and I still haven't heard from him. I'm not sure if this means he is no longer interested or if he is genuinely busy. I'm especially confused since our emails and communication have been great, we have alot in common and he seemed interested. Should I give this guy a chance and is there a possibility that he is genuinely too busy but still interested? I'm thinking I should move on.

In general though, is a guy ever too busy to call someone? What's the deal with guys and calling women?
 
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OnwardThroughtheFog is offline OnwardThroughtheFog Post #2  May 14,2009, 9:59am
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christina - my first thought is you need to clear up the ambiguity. Yes there are times when someone is too busy to call. Usually if someone doesn't call you back in a week, then they must have a LOT on their plate to drop their social events. If he is that busy maybe now is not a good time for him for a relationship.
email him and say something like. I feel "blat... something like what you posted" and if you are too busy now we talk next month. This also might give him time to figure out if he really wants to admit he is really a girl! 8-) just kidding!
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #3  May 14,2009, 11:30am
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Take the guy at his word for now. Assume for the next couple of weeks he's really busy. About once a week send him a nice and SHORT email.

If after a couple of weeks go by he still is "too busy to call" then you should probably write him off.

He may be scared in taking to the next step as he may be busy and distracted enough that he may not want to talk to you for long and is worried that if he cuts the call short you will be turned off.
 
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westloop is offline westloop Post #4  May 14,2009, 1:25pm
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No, guys are never "too busy" to call. What that means is that he's not interested enough in you to bother calling. I bet he's not giving up things he really wants to do because he's "too busy."

Write this one off. I mean, don't close the door, but don't initiate any more communication. If he wants to talk to you, he'll call. You've done enough.

"Busy" is the dumbest excuse ever. Who's not busy??? We're all busy! I don't care if he's brokering peace in the Middle East. If he wants to talk to you he'll make time.

The bottom line is just to separate yourself from this type of guy and move on. Eventually there will be someone who does call!
 
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theweave is offline theweave Post #5  May 14,2009, 6:40pm
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Sounds to me like he wanted just a pen pal and got the cold feet when you said you wanted to talk on the phone!

I lead a busy life and work night shift. Guess what? Give me your number and I will still call you (if you want to, you really should message me with it instead of posting it here! *LOL*)

Move on, there are others out there for you!
 
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tcgirl is offline tcgirl Post #6  May 20,2009, 1:37pm
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Oh my gosh--this is exactly what happened to me! Is it the same guy? Guys are sooo weird. We had spent probably a month chatting in OC with some very heartfelt personal emails and then when it was time to call he gave me some lame excuse and never called. So obviously I didn't call him. I never call boys! But, the odd thing is it's been like 3 months and he still hasn't closed me. Anyone have an idea?
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #7  May 20,2009, 2:50pm

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DDjr wrote :
Take the guy at his word for now. Assume for the next couple of weeks he's really busy. About once a week send him a nice and SHORT email.

If after a couple of weeks go by he still is "too busy to call" then you should probably write him off.

He may be scared in taking to the next step as he may be busy and distracted enough that he may not want to talk to you for long and is worried that if he cuts the call short you will be turned off.
Bingo. Men have been rejected most of our mating lives. Please have patience in episodes like this. Men have had to be patient in the same position Xs 100 times. If I could get $100 for every time a woman said that to me, I'd be going on vacation right now.

Women are not used to rejection. Keep the faith and good luck!
 
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Doodler is offline Doodler Post #8  May 20,2009, 6:04pm
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christina72800 wrote :
I have been communicating with this man from eharmony for awhile and I recently suggested we talk on the phone since our emails were getting rather long and I thought it would be easier to speak on the phone. We exchanged numbers and I gave him a call one night and left him a voice message. He did not get back to me for a few days and I thought that maybe he was not longer interested so I emailed him to see what had happened. He emailed me back immediately (within minutes) to apologize for not calling and that the reason why he didn't call back was that he bought a condo that same week and with his impeding closing date and with late nights at work, he didnt have a chance to call me but that he hoped to call me soon. That was one week ago and I still haven't heard from him. I'm not sure if this means he is no longer interested or if he is genuinely busy. I'm especially confused since our emails and communication have been great, we have alot in common and he seemed interested. Should I give this guy a chance and is there a possibility that he is genuinely too busy but still interested? I'm thinking I should move on.

In general though, is a guy ever too busy to call someone? What's the deal with guys and calling women?
Hmmm. He is "too busy to call" but emails you back within minutes? It seems he has time to be online ... couldn't he have used the time it took to email back to pick up the phone and have a 5 minute conversation????
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #9  May 20,2009, 8:05pm
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It's very possible that he can receive and send e-mails from his phone.

When I'm ready to make a first call, I'd prefer to be relaxed, at home, and having had time to get settled, check her profile, etc. If he has been busy he may not feel settled enough to call yet. Just like the first OC e-mail, the first phone call is important. No need to call when you're too harried or preoccupied to do so.

I say give him a little more time.
 
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cfibl is offline cfibl Post #10  May 21,2009, 6:00am
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tcgirl wrote :
Oh my gosh--this is exactly what happened to me! Is it the same guy? Guys are sooo weird. We had spent probably a month chatting in OC with some very heartfelt personal emails and then when it was time to call he gave me some lame excuse and never called. So obviously I didn't call him. I never call boys! But, the odd thing is it's been like 3 months and he still hasn't closed me. Anyone have an idea?
We're no weirder than women. For example I was messaging daily w/ a match, so I asked if I could call her. She said would love to talk over the phone and gave me her #. So I give here a call and we chat for a couple of minutes, but she's driving back home and asks if she can call me a little later after she gets home. I tell her that's fine. She doesn't call me but sends a text saying sorry, lost track of time, can I call you tomorrow night? I text back that's fine. Well, that was 4 days ago and haven't heard anything since. I called and left her a VM last night, so hopefully that prompts a response one way or the other.

I have a bunch of similar type stories from my eH experience (sigh).
 
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