Closing when denying request to fast track


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PinayBeauty is offline PinayBeauty Post #1  May 13,2009, 11:55am
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I'm just ranting for a bit and wondering if anyone else has experienced this. During the past week, I've had five potential matches and GC has been going well. Once we get to answering the open-ended questions phase and I send my questions, they immediately request to fast track. Since it's the usually the third step and I would like to see answers to my questions, I usually select to decline, but still move forward with communication.
Once I decline, though, they close. This has happened to me five times this week! Not really irked, but just wondering why anyone would do this when you are so close to OC anyways? I can understand if before we started communicating I declined, but geez, it's just three little questions.
I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
 
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #2  May 13,2009, 12:10pm
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The communication process does have it merits when you want to know more about someone gradually.

Matches may be misinterpreting you declining fastrack as a rejection of them. My suggestion would be to accept fastrack, then ask whatever questions you like in OC.
 
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alex751 is offline alex751 Post #3  May 13,2009, 12:25pm

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OP: Is there something unique about your 2nd round of questions that might be making potential matches request FT?
 
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PinayBeauty is offline PinayBeauty Post #4  May 13,2009, 1:28pm
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I usually just pick the generic questions and every once and a while throw in a question on their MHCS...I wouldn't think they've been rejected if the generic fast-track responses state that I would continue with guided.
Oh well, chalk it up to another eH oddity.
Last edited by PinayBeauty; May 13,2009 at 1:30pm.
 
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Luvnushooz is offline Luvnushooz Post #5  May 13,2009, 1:52pm
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I've had it happen too. It doesn't bother me since I'd rather not feel rushed in the process of getting to know someone.
 
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Tyym is offline Tyym Post #6  May 13,2009, 4:04pm
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Luvnushooz wrote :
I've had it happen too. It doesn't bother me since I'd rather not feel rushed in the process of getting to know someone.
I'm with Luvnshooz on this one... I too have had people request FastTrack in the past at both 1st and 2nd questions. I personally prefer to go through the entire GC process. I really enjoyed reading the answers to my questions... many of my questions were very pointed based upon the first round of questions, MH/CS answers & their profile itself. Most of the time, the responses were very considered and complete.

If you receive a close as a result of you declining FastTrack... I don't think I'd take it personally. Really... if you are not comfortable moving too quickly, then your potential date has done you a favour.

We are all involved in a very serious process. Selecting the right mate is something that I take very, very seriously and I want to be certain that I am making the right and healthy choices for myself. I can only do that based upon what I see and experience. If someone is too pushy or rushed... what are they hiding or why are they so eager??? Taking your time is a wise thing... if you meet the right person... time tends to move at a pretty brisk pace anyway
 
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rei818 is offline rei818 Post #7  May 25,2009, 6:02pm
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just wanted to add that maybe the people who close the match are not comfortable with their written communication skills (??) - maybe they feel a person might judge them if they misspell words or use strange grammar?

i am sometimes surprised at how often people will jump to conclusions based on a person's written communication - and i used to be a Freshman Comp teacher!

since intelligence is so valued in our culture, folks don't like to feel stupid. and sometimes people are insecure about their level of communication...

just a thought, and i may not know what i'm talking about
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #8  May 25,2009, 8:26pm
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rei818 wrote :
just wanted to add that maybe the people who close the match are not comfortable with their written communication skills (??) - maybe they feel a person might judge them if they misspell words or use strange grammar?
Good point. I have noticed that many of my matches have poor written communication skills. That's especially ironic since I stated that was something very important to me. I can overlook typos and minor mistakes that anyone is subject to making. But when they have more wrong than right, it's a problem. So, maybe, you've hit the nail on the head with your observation.
 
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bwr is offline bwr Post #9  May 26,2009, 12:37am
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PinayBeauty wrote :
I'm just ranting for a bit and wondering if anyone else has experienced this. During the past week, I've had five potential matches and GC has been going well. Once we get to answering the open-ended questions phase and I send my questions, they immediately request to fast track. Since it's the usually the third step and I would like to see answers to my questions, I usually select to decline, but still move forward with communication.
Once I decline, though, they close. This has happened to me five times this week! Not really irked, but just wondering why anyone would do this when you are so close to OC anyways? I can understand if before we started communicating I declined, but geez, it's just three little questions.
I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
Why don't you just open your mind up a little and play along with it and accept their fasttrack ? Daing is difficult and complicated as it is. Why make it more complicated. Is it that big of a deal in the big picture whether he fasttracked or not ? It will go all out the window anyway once you meet him. Your goal is to get through all the questions, find as many opportunities as you can, and communicate with the person to find out true chemistry.

You might be closing out the person of your dreams and not know it because you never gave it a chance. Just my opinion.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  May 26,2009, 9:28am
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rei818 wrote :
just wanted to add that maybe the people who close the match are not comfortable with their written communication skills (??) - maybe they feel a person might judge them if they misspell words or use strange grammar?

i am sometimes surprised at how often people will jump to conclusions based on a person's written communication - and i used to be a Freshman Comp teacher!

since intelligence is so valued in our culture, folks don't like to feel stupid. and sometimes people are insecure about their level of communication...

just a thought, and i may not know what i'm talking about
Gee, I am more comfortable writing than I am speaking. I can spend more time thinking about what I want to say in an e-mail than on the phone or talking in person.

Of course answering Second Questions, Open Communication and Fast Track are really all about the same. You are forced to write free form messages.
 
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