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Using eHarmony If you have questions or comments about eHarmony's matching process, post it here. Or, lend your guidance and support to a fellow eHarmony member.

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FengShuiBlackBelt FengShuiBlackBelt is offline
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FengShuiBlackBelt can't win for losing.

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greatstuff2009 wrote :
I think it may come down to me wondering how many other people those men are communicating with. ACK - dating! Damned if you do and damned if you don't...
Well, isn't the reason we're all here to interact with as many people as possible before deciding who's the right one?

I've been on for three days. One woman sent me a "photo nudge" while I was waiting for my photo to be approved, even though her own photos hadn't yet been approved either. Since her communication preference was "fast track", I sent her a message explaining why my photo wasn't up yet. Two days later, no reply. She has been the only person to view my profile so far. I'm getting the impression that things move so slowly on eHarmony that you can give it a miss for a week and not miss anything. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's a stark contrast to the pace of most other dating sites.
- July 12th, 2009, 07:03 am
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GILKEY GILKEY is offline
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When I was a member of E/H I once had over 20 OPEN matches at the same time. I used to spend sometimes two hours after work communicating.
- July 12th, 2009, 06:21 pm
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CNCFemale CNCFemale is offline
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I just joined last night, and I must be doing something WRONG! I have only like 4 or 6 and I've closed one and been closed on one already. Ironically, he closed it after I posted my pic. LOL! I know not everyone will like bigger girls, but REALLY, at least spare my feelings for a DAY or so before. He also gave the reason as: OTHER. Doesn't that pretty much say it all? I'm sure there are many shallow and looks oriented people on here as there are on other sites. I'm a newbie to EH, but I'm not a newbie to online dating. I'm still exploring the site, but I admit I have the "FREE" part because, simply, right now I'm one of the UNEMPLOYED people in this country, and $50 a month is a LOT of money. I can pay my internet with that! Don't get me wrong, I like to have a man who appeals facially to me, but honestly, if you appeal to my heart, treat me right, decently, kindly, and with respect, don't cheat, lie, steal, or have a fettish for committing felonies, I don't care what you look like, I'll care about you anyhow, and LOVE GROWS. I've dated a guy once for 6 months that everyone told me was ugly and I could do better. He treated me like GOLD. We aren't together because he moved out of state. I can not say what would have happened if he'd stayed, I try to not play the "WHAT IF" game.
sorry for the longwindedness. after all, what I wrote probably didn't make any sense and no one will read it and take it seriously anyhow.
- July 14th, 2009, 05:55 pm
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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CNCFemale wrote :
sorry for the longwindedness. after all, what I wrote probably didn't make any sense and no one will read it and take it seriously anyhow.
Don't jump to all the wrong conclusions, my dear CNCFemale friend,
We read them most of the time. We don't always respond though, for various reasons. But what you've said here made a whole lot of sense to some of us, at least

But here is the Lunar Paradox of mine - I seem to be corresponding with quite a few matches at this time, even though I'm not subscribing to any of the dating sites at present. And for some strangely weird reason, all of those matches only lead to one...

Would any one care to explain this paradoxical pattern of mine?
- July 14th, 2009, 08:46 pm
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gapeach95 gapeach95 is offline
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greatstuff2009 wrote :
I just don't want to miss out on any opporunities by shutting is off. That may be a good solution though and I guess I shouldn't be greedy. You're right I won't meet all 16 that I'm talking to now but that's the thing. I am in open communication with 16! That's not including the inbetween steps or new communication requests and the ones I've closed. I think it may come down to me wondering how many other people those men are communicating with. ACK - dating! Damned if you do and damned if you don't...
I have 52 communications going right now. However, there is a catch. Out of those 52 only 5 have communicated in return. The rest of the matches have not communicated or closed the match out. I have been on for about 2 months and have closed numerous matches due to no communication after 4 weeks. I may be missing out on an potential date; however, I think 4 weeks is plenty of time for someone to answer 5 multiple choice questions. eHarmony does say communicate communicate communicate. As far as the wondering how many other people those matches are communicating with, you just have to take it and put it out of you mind at this stage. I am giving you this advice and hope that it helps you. I will tell you I have not been successful at meeting anyone, yet. But, I am hopeful. And, I have gotten to open communication with one match. Good Luck!!!
- July 14th, 2009, 09:16 pm
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GILKEY GILKEY is offline
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gapeach95 wrote :
I have 52 communications going right now. However, there is a catch. Out of those 52 only 5 have communicated in return. The rest of the matches have not communicated or closed the match out. I have been on for about 2 months and have closed numerous matches due to no communication after 4 weeks. I may be missing out on an potential date; however, I think 4 weeks is plenty of time for someone to answer 5 multiple choice questions. eHarmony does say communicate communicate communicate. As far as the wondering how many other people those matches are communicating with, you just have to take it and put it out of you mind at this stage. I am giving you this advice and hope that it helps you. I will tell you I have not been successful at meeting anyone, yet. But, I am hopeful. And, I have gotten to open communication with one match. Good Luck!!!
When I was a member I didn't "X-out" matches for "no communication". I rarely "X-ed" out any matches. Two of my first matches with whom I eventually reached OPEN didn't respond for over a month.
- July 16th, 2009, 10:34 am
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Nanette Nanette is offline
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I just closed out another 2. One for a huge values chasm and the other for a pretty much meaningless profile. No real information or one sentence answers to questions is an automatic close.

Although I have to thank the one for putting ENOUGH info for me to close out right away and not waste either of our time knowing we would never mesh long-term. I wish more people did this.
- July 17th, 2009, 07:34 am
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tigerlilyplay6 tigerlilyplay6 is offline
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tigerlilyplay6 Dating is a rollercoaster enjoy the ride

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greatstuff2009 wrote :
I just don't want to miss out on any opporunities by shutting is off. That may be a good solution though and I guess I shouldn't be greedy. You're right I won't meet all 16 that I'm talking to now but that's the thing. I am in open communication with 16! That's not including the inbetween steps or new communication requests and the ones I've closed. I think it may come down to me wondering how many other people those men are communicating with. ACK - dating! Damned if you do and damned if you don't...
Hey I feel your pain. I am from Ohio also..so kudos to us. I joined a little under a month ago. I debated joining for some time and didn't realize the emails of matches I got were adding up. I had accumalated a lot of matches and I am communicating with 3 in further communicating stages and have 68 on that tab. I have shut down new matches for awhile to close out or whatever the responses I got. I just didn't want anyone feeling like they were hanging on a line or waste anymore of their time. I have closed 200 so far and will be opening up soon to get some more people I might be interested in.

Trust me...if you are doing as good as you are you won't miss a thing. Rock on!
- July 17th, 2009, 09:38 pm
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tigerlilyplay6 tigerlilyplay6 is offline
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tigerlilyplay6 Dating is a rollercoaster enjoy the ride

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gapeach95 wrote :
I have 52 communications going right now. However, there is a catch. Out of those 52 only 5 have communicated in return. The rest of the matches have not communicated or closed the match out. I have been on for about 2 months and have closed numerous matches due to no communication after 4 weeks. I may be missing out on an potential date; however, I think 4 weeks is plenty of time for someone to answer 5 multiple choice questions. eHarmony does say communicate communicate communicate. As far as the wondering how many other people those matches are communicating with, you just have to take it and put it out of you mind at this stage. I am giving you this advice and hope that it helps you. I will tell you I have not been successful at meeting anyone, yet. But, I am hopeful. And, I have gotten to open communication with one match. Good Luck!!!
I believe you are being responsible with setting your limits on what you will consider and what you won't. That in itself is a good means to measure whether to keep it open or not. Hey! the point of the matter is some people simply join for the free weekend deal or they had a discounted package and may not be able to afford full price. In either case, you may not ever hear from these people.

However, I have 3 people I am communicating with in further along stages that waited on me for over 4 months. We are now communicating and it is exciting! I am glad they waited. In saying that I want you to know that it might not hurt to give them more time because they could be interested but for whatever reason just not able to get with you yet. A good gauge...I check the home page of my file that tells me who's been viewing my file. If I haven't heard from someone but see they viewed my file I know they probably are just busy or whatever and are still interested. Try it out!! you might save a potential date.
- July 17th, 2009, 09:48 pm
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ScubaSteve21 ScubaSteve21 is offline
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im communicating with a few people but they aren't even responding
- July 17th, 2009, 11:56 pm
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