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jlo123's Avatar

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OK.. my question is.. IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH THE PROCESS??? or is this all a scam???

On another topic discussion board..we have been talking about how everytime we get to "stage 3" the person just stops responding!!! hmmmm coincidence.. I am not sure...it seems likemany many members are experiencing'no rseponse' when they get to stage 3 in the process.. Hmm this created a huge question for me.. the question is... is this a scam!!!! I mean seriously how could this be.. are you telling me that people are intersted and all of a sudden they are not and this interest only declines at stage 3???

Ok here me out...what if eHarmony hasthe system set upwhere they are set up to appear as though they have people for us..- who come into our matches..but really they don't and the system is automated to send you people up to level 3 so we get encouraged that maybe we have achance of meeting our perfect mate.. then they go MIA.. I find it really suspicious that A LOT of people - more than is comfortable to be just a case of no longer interseted... are experiencing this.. don't you think???

I have used many dating sites and have had LOTS AND LOTS of hits and long term correspondence outside of controlled questions... and to be honest why would controlled questions make people NOT want to continue.. unless they system is set up to stop at that point!!.. on the other sites..they have not worked out but...at least I was able to make that decision myself.. I am begining to believe now its more of an automated compute process! I really am..

I am now convinced this is a scam set up in the EH computer system!!!!

So...any thoughts anyone.. could it be possible that EH are playing us to get our money????????? when in actual fact these people do not really exist at all....???



- April 24th, 2008, 02:34 pm
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jlo123, wrote :

OK.. my question is.. IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH THE PROCESS??? or is this all a scam???

On another topic discussion board..we have been talking about how everytime we get to "stage 3" the person just stops responding!!! hmmmm coincidence.. I am not sure...it seems likemany many members are experiencing'no rseponse' when they get to stage 3 in the process.. Hmm this created a huge question for me.. the question is... is this a scam!!!! I mean seriously how could this be.. are you telling me that people are intersted and all of a sudden they are not and this interest only declines at stage 3???

Ok here me out...what if eHarmony hasthe system set upwhere they are set up to appear as though they have people for us..- who come into our matches..but really they don't and the system is automated to send you people up to level 3 so we get encouraged that maybe we have achance of meeting our perfect mate.. then they go MIA.. I find it really suspicious that A LOT of people - more than is comfortable to be just a case of no longer interseted... are experiencing this.. don't you think???

I have used many dating sites and have had LOTS AND LOTS of hits and long term correspondence outside of controlled questions... and to be honest why would controlled questions make people NOT want to continue.. unless they system is set up to stop at that point!!.. on the other sites..they have not worked out but...at least I was able to make that decision myself.. I am begining to believe now its more of an automated compute process! I really am..

I am now convinced this is a scam set up in the EH computer system!!!!

So...any thoughts anyone.. could it be possible that EH are playing us to get our money????????? when in actual fact these people do not really exist at all....???


Well, you have to keep in mind a) eHarmony has 'free weekends' where people can show up and initiate communication, then disappear 'cause they don't wanna pay, b) they may be dating several people and have people they're more interested in than you, c) people have lives outside the computer and something may have come up, d) maybe something in your MH/CS scared them off, but they're too wussy to man up and close you out, e) the Guided Communication process makes everything really impersonal so some people just don't think it's important to get back to it asap, f)... and the list goes on and on.

Personally, I made it to Open Communication with 16 guys. I found one that I had Crazy Click with and wound up closing everybody out and we've been together for about two and a half months now. So it's not a scam. Maybe you need to review your Must Haves/Can't Stands. Maybe you need to rethink the third round questions you're sending. Are you intimidating people? Are you asking questions that make them think you have a lot of baggage? Are you just selecting the pre-written questions and not asking anything of your own? Some things to think about.
- April 24th, 2008, 02:48 pm
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Not a scam, just a lot of flakes.
- April 24th, 2008, 02:54 pm
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I don't believe its a scam either.

It was alluded to in another thread...

Stage 3/4 is the last Stage where people can stop without having to invest much time/effort.

So if someone is "on the fence" with youboth being a match, maybe they play along for Steps 1 and 2, but then decide to stop when you get to Step 3 or 4.

Why they don't just Close you at that point, who knows... Perhaps they feel bad about doing it? Of course, these people don't realize that it actually bothers us more when they just "stop" responding!

- April 24th, 2008, 03:11 pm
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I don't think it is an "actual" scam, but, I do think the whole "free-weekend" thing and the matching of in-active members to be very deceptive and and bordering on fraud. I am about done myself. I have met a few matches and I have been on some dates, but I am not really impressed with the whole "process".
- April 24th, 2008, 03:28 pm
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gr8galmv 6 mo. into dating my EH guy and still feels like I've won the EH lottery!

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jlo123, wrote :

OK.. my question is.. IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH THE PROCESS??? or is this all a scam???

On another topic discussion board..we have been talking about how everytime we get to "stage 3" the person just stops responding!!! hmmmm coincidence.. I am not sure...it seems likemany many members are experiencing'no rseponse' when they get to stage 3 in the process.. Hmm this created a huge question for me.. the question is... is this a scam!!!! I mean seriously how could this be.. are you telling me that people are intersted and all of a sudden they are not and this interest only declines at stage 3???

Ok here me out...what if eHarmony hasthe system set upwhere they are set up to appear as though they have people for us..- who come into our matches..but really they don't and the system is automated to send you people up to level 3 so we get encouraged that maybe we have achance of meeting our perfect mate.. then they go MIA.. I find it really suspicious that A LOT of people - more than is comfortable to be just a case of no longer interseted... are experiencing this.. don't you think???

I have used many dating sites and have had LOTS AND LOTS of hits and long term correspondence outside of controlled questions... and to be honest why would controlled questions make people NOT want to continue.. unless they system is set up to stop at that point!!.. on the other sites..they have not worked out but...at least I was able to make that decision myself.. I am begining to believe now its more of an automated compute process! I really am..

I am now convinced this is a scam set up in the EH computer system!!!!

So...any thoughts anyone.. could it be possible that EH are playing us to get our money????????? when in actual fact these people do not really exist at all....???


Hmm, you really like conspiracy theories. I agree with the other poster...not a scam, just tons of flakes and people not really that into you to bother with answering open ended questions.
- April 24th, 2008, 04:46 pm
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I've met several people. It isn't a scam. I tend to close a lot of people out at stage three. Usually it is because they send me a question I find annoying. Or, because I am turned off by their must have/can't stands.
- April 24th, 2008, 05:06 pm
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I was going to point out that stage three is right after must have/can't stands. I have closed out people after reading those and had people close me out after those. You have to consider that those can give more insight into who you are than the blurbs on your profile and the multiple choice answers to the earlier questions.
- April 24th, 2008, 05:18 pm
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jlo123's Avatar

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I just went onto consumer complain site - boy there are literally "thousands" of reports of "scam" from eHarmony.. its very disturbing.



Iwish I had done my research before I signed up.

Good luck all.. I am getting out.

Enjoy!
- April 24th, 2008, 06:34 pm
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See ya !
- April 24th, 2008, 07:07 pm
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