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magilla1981 magilla1981 is offline
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I'm a little new to this whole online dating thing. I've come to the opinion that I start a conversation with anyone that is suggested to me. However now I've got a ton of conversations going to the point where sometimes I forget someone I was talking too. I guess I'm just looking to see how many conversations people have going at once. What is that magic number where you either drop a match or just deny new matches. Thanks.
- May 9th, 2009, 06:48 pm
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bravethestorm bravethestorm is offline
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bravethestorm 10/10/09 Engaged to eharmony match

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It depends on your comfort level. Most people close out communication with the matches they have determined aren't a good fit for them.


Arrange some dates and see which you want to see again.


When you have more matches than you can handle...just turn matching off awhile until you catch up.


For me...most I've talked to at once is 5...usually it's is2 or less inguided or open communication.
- May 9th, 2009, 08:21 pm
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treatmesweetly treatmesweetly is offline
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It might help to save/re-read your emails to refresh your memory of the people you're communicatingwith (I've had guys ask/re-ask the same questions in an eChain because they forgot they already asked them). If you're talking to several matches via phone, keep a little notepad by the phone and take a few notes (i.e., Bob, 32, location (city), accountant, no children, plays softball). Also, if you're really not interested in someone, simply send them a note stating "Thank you, but I don't think we're a good match." and close the match. There is no need to explain in great detail why (tends toleave hurt feelings or tick people off), and most people consider "poofing" rude.


Have you met any of these matches? You don't have to meet them in the first week or two, but it is online-dating (not online-email/phone/text/IM'g). Good luck!
- May 9th, 2009, 10:12 pm
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musmusculus musmusculus is offline
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Project managent is one of my strengths, so I'm used to juggling multiple tasks simultaneously. This may sound geeky, but I print out each communicating match's profile, GC responses, and important OC messages so I can make notes. Geeky yes, but it helps me keep track of who is who.
- May 9th, 2009, 10:37 pm
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Nature_Lover Nature_Lover is offline
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musmusculus wrote :

Project managent is one of my strengths, so I'm used to juggling multiple tasks simultaneously. This may sound geeky, but I print out each communicating match's profile, GC responses, and important OC messages so I can make notes. Geeky yes, but it helps me keep track of who is who.
LOL..almost sounds like something I'd do!
- May 10th, 2009, 09:33 am
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choiceweb0pen0 choiceweb0pen0 is offline
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choiceweb0pen0 watch me fall

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I think the most I've been in OC with is around 3. Sometiems it happens quickly, other times, it takes awile. I like to cut and paste messages into a single document file, so I can keep track of a match's information and what we've written to each other. It is a good idea to have some kind of system, or you might make a mistake and your match might wonder how many people you're talking to. Especially in the early phase, I think it's okay to talk and see a few people at once. This takes the pressure off one match succeeding and reduces that all too easy urge to want to be in constant contact with them.
- May 10th, 2009, 09:45 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
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There is no magic number but what you are comfortable with. It would seem that maybe you have exceeded your comfort level and should temporarily turn off matching to catch up.


Personally I will send first questions to any of my matches that interest me because I know that only a couple of them will ever respond. I would feel comfortable being in e-mail communication with 4 or 5 at the same time but at some point I am going to want to meet in person. Actually dating (prior to being exclusive) more than one person is a bit hard but more than two becomes quite a chore due to all the other demands of life.
- May 10th, 2009, 09:58 am
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