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theidentityofdeck theidentityofdeck is offline
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I am kind of in the same boat as Not_Getting_Anything, but the flexibility thing kind of confuses me. I don't really want to drive 2 hours to see my girlfriend, and I think a lot of guys will agree. It would be hard to have a relationship with a woman who is in Podunk, Iowa when I am in Florida.


I agree with Not_Getting_Anything on the point that women my age, only look for the "young stud" who knocks them off their feet, instead of the "average joe" or "dorky (like me ) who has the emotional and physical capabilities to carry out an intense relationship. Only my thoughts, though.
- May 8th, 2009, 06:17 pm
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candacesue candacesue is offline
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Not_Getting_Anything, wrote :

Hi All


When my current subscription ends I think I'm going to cancel my membership. I am getting no positive responses from any of my matches. I'm a decent looking42 yr oldman andI am successful, but most of the women dont have any interest.


I have gone through over 1500 matches/profiles in just over a yearand have yet to have anybody get to the open communication stage. I mean if I have a match come in and decide to send her my first set ofquestions, I rarely ever get a reponse back.


And this is what makes me mad. - All it takes is a minute to say "Close Match" orno I'm not interested in this match and close it. This is not rocket science and the person on the other end "me" can get on with looking for another match. Instead of wondering what the$%#@ is going on with that match for weeks.


It does not seem that eHarmony has any women that are interested in average looking guys such as myself. They all seem to be looking for young jocks or stud types and that is not me. It seems the only women that ever contact me are eitherhalf way around the worldor are10 years older than me. Has anyone on here had any success at all?


If anyone could give me some good/sound advice or even some criticisms,I would certainly appreciate it. I will take all the feed back I can get.


Sincerely,


Confused







Hi there! I am pretty new to eharmony(about a month). I am extremely frustrated as well. I get matches that I think are nice and send an icebreaker or start with the 5 questions. I have either gotten no response or they close the communication. I have not had 1 person start any type of communication with me.


I am 39 and think I have a pretty normal profile (true to myself). I have pictures up. I am feeling the same way you are. Did you get any good suggestions?
- May 8th, 2009, 07:11 pm
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memyselfandiplus2 memyselfandiplus2 is offline
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Hmm...





change your pictures, make your profile a little more you, and flip from fasttrack-guided or guided to fasttrack if you haven't already. eH matches based on type of communication as well right? And girls (well some of us) are attracted to interesting people. To me hot is totally all about the person and the grin. Someone might be turned off by an attractive but bland picture. Or pictures with other people in them.





Just my few cents
- May 8th, 2009, 08:44 pm
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Bandmate Bandmate is offline
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Not_Getting_Anything, wrote :


Hi All


When my current subscription ends I think I'm going to cancel my membership. I am getting no positive responses from any of my matches. I'm a decent looking42 yr oldman andI am successful, but most of the women dont have any interest.


I have gone through over 1500 matches/profiles in just over a yearand have yet to have anybody get to the open communication stage. I mean if I have a match come in and decide to send her my first set ofquestions, I rarely ever get a reponse back.


And this is what makes me mad. - All it takes is a minute to say "Close Match" orno I'm not interested in this match and close it. This is not rocket science and the person on the other end "me" can get on with looking for another match. Instead of wondering what the$%#@ is going on with that match for weeks.


It does not seem that eHarmony has any women that are interested in average looking guys such as myself. They all seem to be looking for young jocks or stud types and that is not me. It seems the only women that ever contact me are eitherhalf way around the worldor are10 years older than me. Has anyone on here had any success at all?


If anyone could give me some good/sound advice or even some criticisms,I would certainly appreciate it. I will take all the feed back I can get.


Sincerely,


Confused











Well for one thing you are plain spoken and not afraid to say what you think,women likeflattering,shakesperianB.S artist,and as far as looks go you could be Quasimodo's red headed step brother and it wouldn't matter if you said what they wanted to hear.....perhaps you could go out and buy a pair of high quality shoes,women love good shoe...good shoes-good man is what some of them say.....saying that you are successful makes some women think you are trying to buy them,not mentioning money makes some women think you can't afford them.The best thing to do is be yourself and find a woman who will accept you for what you are....other than that ratchet up the B.S and tell them exactly what they want to hear...trying to figure it out is hopeless.
- May 9th, 2009, 05:05 am
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trailviews trailviews is offline
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It's unfortunate that you waited this long to get feedback. Non-responses from people you initiate communication with are common among almost all eHarmony users, but getting to Open Communication with 0 of 1500+ isn't good. Without knowing what's in your profile, it's hard to guess what the reason might be. I have to put a lot of effort into it just to meet someone once every couple of months or so (I did meet 3 women in the past few weeks, but that's unusual for me on eHarmony).


Make sure your About Me does a good job of representing yourself. Think about what qualities you have that women might find appealing. Make sure those are clear in your profile/photos. In your post, you seem to emphasize "looks". If you're average looking and all that's in your profile is photos of average looking you, of course women are going to communicate with the men with better looking photos and the ones with better written profiles. In the end, yes, you are competing with the "young jocks or stud types", so there had better be something in your profile that provides an appealing alternative.


That said, you could be a great guy, but if you're average height or shorter, balding, don't have a stand out occupation or earning potential, don't wear designer clothes/shoes, etc. be prepared for a rapidly increasing level of instant rejection online as those items add up.
- May 9th, 2009, 08:32 am
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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you know, i'm really glad that i decided to start dating again before i joinedthe EHA boards, because some of the responses from the men here would make me not want to date. or gay.


*shakes head
- May 9th, 2009, 10:08 am
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scarlet13 wrote :


you know, i'm really glad that i decided to start dating again before i joinedthe EHA boards, because some of the responses from the men here would make me not want to date. or gay.


*shakes head


Well beleive me that's a two way street.....you see some men get past getting laid as the primary objective and start to realize that women are actualy human and flawed and not just the wonderful little angels some of them claim to be.
- May 9th, 2009, 05:44 pm
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DDjr DDjr is offline
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NGA,


I didn't see the following suggestion in the above so I'll recommend it:


If you're ohfer, you might really think about retaking your profile test. Were you really honest when you took it, or did you tend to answer as you believed that you were supposed to answer?


Fundamentally the personality profile is the linchpin that EH hinges on. If it's not 99+% accurate, EH is going to be a pointless exercise.
- May 11th, 2009, 09:03 am
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BILLGOLF BILLGOLF is offline
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Dafearon wrote :

constantseeker wrote :


Not_Getting_Anything, wrote :


Hi All


When my current subscription ends I think I'm going to cancel my membership. I am getting no positive responses from any of my matches. I'm a decent looking42 yr oldman andI am successful, but most of the women dont have any interest.


I have gone through over 1500 matches/profiles in just over a yearand have yet to have anybody get to the open communication stage. I mean if I have a match come in and decide to send her my first set ofquestions, I rarely ever get a reponse back.


And this is what makes me mad. - All it takes is a minute to say "Close Match " orno I'm not interested in this match and close it. This is not rocket science and the person on the other end "me" can get on with looking for another match. Instead of wondering what the$%#@ is going on with that match for weeks.


It does not seem that eHarmony has any women that are interested in average looking guys such as myself. They all seem to be looking for young jocks or stud types and that is not me. It seems the only women that ever contact me are eitherhalf way around the worldor are10 years older than me. Has anyone on here had any success at all?


If anyone could give me some good/sound advice or even some criticisms,I would certainly appreciate it. I will take all the feed back I can get.


Sincerely,


Confused











I would like to offer you some encouragement. I don't know a lot about the eHarmony process, but I have heard that some people cannot keep up communications because they only sign up for the free weekends and maybe you are getting a lot of these people as matches. That's the only thing I can think of.


I will tell you that my ex-husband was on this dating site for about as long as you have been. He is 46, but looks older, is actually anugly man with the body of a flabby teenager, terribly boring, with no sense of humor,but very successful. I don't know how it happened, but hemet the love of his life on here and is very happy and content. They met in October andare getting married within the month. So, chin up, there truly IS someone for everyone and heis living proof!


they went from meeting to engaged, to married in 8 months?!?!?!?
If "very successful" means "very rich" this can easily happen. Unfortunately I am not in this category of success.
- May 11th, 2009, 12:42 pm
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constantseeker constantseeker is offline
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Dafearon wrote :

constantseeker wrote :


Not_Getting_Anything, wrote :


Hi All


When my current subscription ends I think I'm going to cancel my membership. I am getting no positive responses from any of my matches. I'm a decent looking42 yr oldman andI am successful, but most of the women dont have any interest.


I have gone through over 1500 matches/profiles in just over a yearand have yet to have anybody get to the open communication stage. I mean if I have a match come in and decide to send her my first set ofquestions, I rarely ever get a reponse back.


And this is what makes me mad. - All it takes is a minute to say "Close Match " orno I'm not interested in this match and close it. This is not rocket science and the person on the other end "me" can get on with looking for another match. Instead of wondering what the$%#@ is going on with that match for weeks.


It does not seem that eHarmony has any women that are interested in average looking guys such as myself. They all seem to be looking for young jocks or stud types and that is not me. It seems the only women that ever contact me are eitherhalf way around the worldor are10 years older than me. Has anyone on here had any success at all?


If anyone could give me some good/sound advice or even some criticisms,I would certainly appreciate it. I will take all the feed back I can get.


Sincerely,


Confused











I would like to offer you some encouragement. I don't know a lot about the eHarmony process, but I have heard that some people cannot keep up communications because they only sign up for the free weekends and maybe you are getting a lot of these people as matches. That's the only thing I can think of.


I will tell you that my ex-husband was on this dating site for about as long as you have been. He is 46, but looks older, is actually anugly man with the body of a flabby teenager, terribly boring, with no sense of humor,but very successful. I don't know how it happened, but hemet the love of his life on here and is very happy and content. They met in October andare getting married within the month. So, chin up, there truly IS someone for everyone and heis living proof!


they went from meeting to engaged, to married in 8 months?!?!?!?
Yes, it amazes even me - I thought that if/when I find myself in the market again, I may try eHarmony. My son tells me that the two of them are PERFECTLY matched; same careers, same personalities,almost all of the same interests - he calls her a (his dad's name)ette! All I know is, based on those facts, I wouldn't spend the day with the two of them on a bet!
- May 12th, 2009, 11:10 am
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