Does changing our must haves/can't stands affect current matches?


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thinkme is offline thinkme Post #1  May 4,2009, 8:15pm
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If I decided to change my must haves/can't stands, do my current matches see the new MHCS or do they only see what I originally sent them?
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  May 5,2009, 6:34am
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I would imagine that they see the version that you sent to them - Before you send them you have the chance to change them if you want to. It wouldn't make a lot of sense for what the other person sees to be changing every day as you send different ones to different people.
 
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thinkme is offline thinkme Post #3  May 5,2009, 9:07am
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lol DDJr. Are you saying you change your MHCS for every person?





Thanks for the opinion. Though, I would welcome an official response from eH on this.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  May 5,2009, 6:36pm

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Hi Thinkme and DDjr,


Any communication you’ve sent to a particular match, including the Must Haves and Can’t Stands, remains unchanged, even if you edit your choices for subsequent matches. This is so that you will both have a record to go back and review as you go further along in communication. It can later be a helpful springboard for discussions as you consider future possibilities.


It’s interesting, however, that you brought up the ability to change them or edit them for new matches. We have the option to edit them because many members learn as they go and may want to revise their non-negotiable requirements of what they are looking for in a long-term partner. This is a natural process of discovery as a result of engaging in communication with new people. If they do change, you can always inform your match of your new Must Haves and Can't Stands in the Open-Ended Questions, Open Communication, and beyond.


It should be said that the purpose of the Must Haves and Can’t Stands is not to change them up with each new match that appeals to you. That’s why we call them the Must Haves and Can’t Stands, not the “Why-You-Should-Choose-Mes”.


They are first and foremost for youself – as a tool of awareness when that “irresistible” match appears who realistically isn’t going to be a good fit based on deal-breakers. It’s our greatest goal to enable our members to find real lasting happiness in a relationship. It can take perseverance and persistence, but the reward will be amazing.


All the best,


Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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Coca-Cola is offline Coca-Cola Post #5  May 13,2009, 4:02am
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In short, your current matches see the new set.

You could be married to you and everything and she might chance upon and close you out with "Our MH/CS don't fit!" That'd be a hoot.
 
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