emanze is offline emanze Post #1  April 16,2009, 2:54pm
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Hi there!


I'm new to this site and am having trouble with one of the options. I am receiving notices that tell me a "match" has closed contact.


But I have no idea who these people are. They aren't anyone I've contacted/expressed interest in. So I understandthat eharmonyis showing them my profile and they aren't interested. That'sfine. But why on earth do I need to know they aren't interested!


To me, it's like going into a bar and having someone tell you that four people have decided they aren't interested in you.Who cares. If, at some time, I was interested but they had closed the match, I understand needing to know they aren't interested. Otherwise, what's the point??


It's just a really weird function to me. Maybe I'm not understanding it so any insight would be appreciated.


Thanks!
 
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RolandOfGilead is offline RolandOfGilead Post #2  October 17,2011, 6:38am
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I don't have any insight but I agree.
Closing really hurts when I get closed by someone who hasn't even spoken to me. The only things they probably looked at are my profile pictures.

I wish closing was handled differently. I'd rather their profile disappear from my match list entirely rather than being told, essentially, "You suck, go away."

It'd be nice if they gave people the option to give a reason.
Otherwise, you have to get to the point of exchanging messages to tell or ask them and if they close you, you can't ask them anything anyway.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  October 17,2011, 6:44am
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RolandOfGilead wrote :
I don't have any insight but I agree.
Closing really hurts when I get closed by someone who hasn't even spoken to me. The only things they probably looked at are my profile pictures.

I wish closing was handled differently. I'd rather their profile disappear from my match list entirely rather than being told, essentially, "You suck, go away."

It'd be nice if they gave people the option to give a reason.
Otherwise, you have to get to the point of exchanging messages to tell or ask them and if they close you, you can't ask them anything anyway.
This thread is 2 1/2 years old.

Just for the record I kind of like knowing when a match closes me and who it is.

And I never considered that a match closing me was telling me that I "suck".
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #4  October 17,2011, 5:56pm
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RolandOfGilead wrote :
I wish closing was handled differently. I'd rather their profile disappear from my match list entirely rather than being told, essentially, "You suck, go away."
Does eH send out notices when a match is closed? I think it's been a couple of months since I've been on eHarmony, but I never received a notice of closure.

I never, ever ascribed a value judgment to a match closure. It is definitely not "You suck, go away"... rather, it is more like a key and a lock. Only certain keys will fit certain locks; a match closure is only someone saying that she doesn't think she fits your lock. It's not bad, or good... just a property of you combined with someone else.

I was widowed at age 34. There are not a lot of women in that age range who can deal with that circumstance... so I was closed often. At first it hurt but then I figured it's better for me if the only women who actually talk to me are mature enough to handle those kinds of circumstances.
 
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