iilah is offline iilah Post #1  April 16,2009, 11:44am
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How long is it fair to wait for answers to initial questions? I got a couple of matches the other day that sounded interesting and so I initiated communication. I hate making the first move but no one seems interested in starting communication with me (sniff sniff) .





It's been a couple of days, I would think they would have read them by now, so how long should I give them before dumping them? If they aren't interested in communicating, why don't they close me? Doesn't hurt my feelers at all, I am so used to being rejected now that a positive response would freak me out.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  April 16,2009, 12:27pm
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After a week you will get a "Nudge" button if you look at the person's profile.


Unless you have tons of matches, why bother closing someone that (a) might not be a paying member but might communicate with you during the next free weekend -or- (b) might be working their way through their priority queue and you are inline for tomorrow.
 
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iilah is offline iilah Post #3  April 16,2009, 12:53pm
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DDjr,580856 wrote :

After a week you will get a "Nudge" button if you look at the person's profile.


Unless you have tons of matches, why bother closing someone that (a) might not be a paying member but might communicate with you during the next free weekend -or- (b) might be working their way through their priority queue and you are inline for tomorrow.
If they are not a paying member, I might not be interested in them if they are that cheap they can't buy a subscription. Also, I don't like the idea of being dead last on someone's priority list!
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #4  April 16,2009, 1:47pm
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iilah,580891 wrote :

DDjr,580856 wrote :


After a week you will get a "Nudge" button if you look at the person's profile.


Unless you have tons of matches, why bother closing someone that (a) might not be a paying member but might communicate with you during the next free weekend -or- (b) might be working their way through their priority queue and you are inline for tomorrow.


If they are not a paying member, I might not be interested in them if they are that cheap they can't buy a subscription. Also, I don't like the idea of being dead last on someone's priority list!
How long have you been a member? Once you've been around for a year or so you start to value all your matches (communicating or not) more!
 
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iilah is offline iilah Post #5  April 16,2009, 1:52pm
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DDjr,580954 wrote :

iilah,580891 wrote :


DDjr,580856 wrote :


After a week you will get a "Nudge" button if you look at the person's profile.


Unless you have tons of matches, why bother closing someone that (a) might not be a paying member but might communicate with you during the next free weekend -or- (b) might be working their way through their priority queue and you are inline for tomorrow.


If they are not a paying member, I might not be interested in them if they are that cheap they can't buy a subscription. Also, I don't like the idea of being dead last on someone's priority list!


How long have you been a member? Once you've been around for a year or so you start to value all your matches (communicating or not) more!
I guess I'm a newbie. Just been on less than a month. I thought I would be pounding them back with a stick, but the competiton must be fierce! I have only received one request to communicate and he shut me down after I asked him if he would please post a photo. We weren't a good match anyway and I am wondering about these 16 dimensions of matching criteria hogwash.


Oh yes, and his photo, he was grimacing and looked very mean. Why can't soemone smile and look friendly?
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #6  April 16,2009, 1:59pm
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iilah,580965 wrote :

DDjr,580954 wrote :


iilah,580891 wrote :


DDjr,580856 wrote :


After a week you will get a "Nudge" button if you look at the person's profile.


Unless you have tons of matches, why bother closing someone that (a) might not be a paying member but might communicate with you during the next free weekend -or- (b) might be working their way through their priority queue and you are inline for tomorrow.


If they are not a paying member, I might not be interested in them if they are that cheap they can't buy a subscription. Also, I don't like the idea of being dead last on someone's priority list!


How long have you been a member? Once you've been around for a year or so you start to value all your matches (communicating or not) more!


I guess I'm a newbie. Just been on less than a month. I thought I would be pounding them back with a stick, but the competiton must be fierce! I have only received one request to communicate and he shut me down after I asked him if he would please post a photo. We weren't a good match anyway and I am wondering about these 16 dimensions of matching criteria hogwash.


Oh yes, and his photo, he was grimacing and looked very mean. Why can't soemone smile and look friendly?
It's 29!


Actually the matching IS PRETTY good! Of the handful of matches that I have met, I have felt "compatible" with them (whether or not I was attracted to them).


If you are getting a lot of matches that you question why you would be matched with, you'll need to analyze how well you think you did on the personality profile test. What I mean by that is did you do a really good job answering questions honestly. (Sometimes people feel they need to answer how they feel they are expected to answer, not what is true for them.)
 
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PY is offline PY Post #7  April 16,2009, 2:41pm

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iilah, wrote :

How long is it fair to wait for answers to initial questions? I got a couple of matches the other day that sounded interesting and so I initiated communication. I hate making the first move but no one seems interested in starting communication with me (sniff sniff) .





It's been a couple of days, I would think they would have read them by now, so how long should I give them before dumping them? If they aren't interested in communicating, why don't they close me? Doesn't hurt my feelers at all, I am so used to being rejected now that a positive response would freak me out.
I've had some who responded twice in one day....I've had one who responded consistently every day....my standard was one week. I did a couple nudges..and that never yielded any results.


Now I just ditched EH and take my chances holding up my phone number on a cardboard on the highway off ramp. It's cheaper that way....sometimes bystanders even give me money
 
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sue_Onim is offline sue_Onim Post #8  April 16,2009, 4:49pm

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i would close them out after 2 or 3 days... no point sticking around to be disappointed later on
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #9  April 17,2009, 11:29am

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iilah, wrote :

How long is it fair to wait for answers to initial questions? I got a couple of matches the other day that sounded interesting and so I initiated communication. I hate making the first move but no one seems interested in starting communication with me (sniff sniff) .





It's been a couple of days, I would think they would have read them by now, so how long should I give them before dumping them? If they aren't interested in communicating, why don't they close me? Doesn't hurt my feelers at all, I am so used to being rejected now that a positive response would freak me out.
Dear iilah,


This is indeed one of the perennial eHarmony questions? And I am glad to have the opportunity to share our recommendations to help you decide how long to wait for a communication response.


As I shared on another thread, the one mistake many returning eHarmony members tell us they made during their previous time on eHarmony was that they closed matches out too soon. Either they closed their match out right away because they weren't bowled over by their About Me page/photo or because they didn't receive a communication response right away.


Therefore, our first recommendation is that you communicate with most, if not all of your matches. Initiating communication allows you to make the most of your time on eHarmony, and helps you get the attention of your matches right away.


Once you are communicating with a match we recommend that you give him a week to respond, send a nudge, then give him another week. If after 14 days you do not recieve a response, you may want to consider closing communication. However, if you are really interested in a match, you may decide to give him a little more time.


Your About Me page and photos are what inspires communication. To help you experience the best rate of communication possible, a Customer Care agent will be very happy to review your account and provide recommendations. You can e-mail Customer Care from the Help link located at the bottom of all our Singles site pages or by clicking here: http://help-singles.eharmony.com/.


Lastly, you may want to check out the various threads here on the Using eHarmony forum to get tips on how to enhance yourAbout Me page and what types of photos to post.


All the best.


-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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