What are your match distance settings?


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ActionSoftGuy is offline ActionSoftGuy Post #31  May 1,2009, 11:58pm
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I've always had mine set to 30 miles. I believe strongly in developing friendship before romance, and that's hard to do when you have to travel far to go on a date. eHarmony is probably the wrong method for me since I prefer this approach, but I've seen it in the past as one more door I might as well try to have open. The problem is that most matches don't seem to understand this approach... they want romance right off the bat, perhaps because of the "29 dimensions of compatibility." (So far from 900+ matches, I've found few that are really all that compatible once you meet in person.)


So to me it's frustrating when I get Flex Matches from other nearby states. I close them, but some times the other person really wants to meet. Sigh.
 
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sc4me is offline sc4me Post #32  May 3,2009, 4:15pm
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My match settings are set at 120 miles. Unfortunately (or fortunately I suppose) I have met someone who lives 700 miles away who has stolen my heart. It is such an unusual situation and circumstances that I don't really care how far away she lives. I just know she is there ... and she gives me goosebumps and butterflies. Even if we never meet or decided to stop communicating because of the distance I am all the better for it.


That is an unusual situation I know, and ideally I'd like to meet someone in my own town. But I met her and until I meet someone who can wipe this grin off my face she's it. I know I met her and she is a real live person.
 
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Mr. Nice Guy is offline Mr. Nice Guy Post #33  May 9,2009, 6:46pm
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I haven't figured mine out yet. I keep experimenting with different mileage and flex settings as well as other match settings to see how many matches I can get each day. I live in semi-rural Tennessee; Nashville is the nearest big city, but there are also the nearby medium-sized towns such as Dickson and Franklin and Clarksville. For tonight, I have my distance settings set on 60 miles with a flex setting of '6'; that's very conservative for my area. If I don't turn up enough 'quality' matches overnight tonight, then I'll likely try more liberal distance settings tomorrow morning, then log out, wait about 20 minutes, log back in, and then hit the 'Find New Matches' link and see if anything else comes up.
 
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MommaMia51 is offline MommaMia51 Post #34  May 10,2009, 7:18pm
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MEJW,572791 wrote :

I first tried close (< 200 miles) but expanded it to "Canada" and got more matches, Following the 'guided communication' worked well and via emails and phoning learned a great deal about my very special match. He was an eight hour drive away, but a short flight and he began flying to TO onhis four days off every two weeks. I made fewer, but longer trips to Timmins, We had a wonderful wedding in September '08 and highly endorse eharmony as an excellent way to meet a compatible person with whom to share your life. We are each 66 years young btw.
Congratulations!!! You have inspired me and given me hope. I have my settings set at 300, also with the assumption of meeting halfway or flying back and forth, but so far my matches have replied with "distant to great". But no worries, they weren't for me.The one who is...well, like the song says, "Ain't no Mountain High Enough".
 
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bellamagoo is offline bellamagoo Post #35  May 13,2009, 7:27pm
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I live in a small community in Northern BC so I have my distance set to 300 miles (500km) as I'm willing to drive 1/2 way to all the way to meet a match depending on where they are located. I've also set the distance importance to the lowest setting so that I still get matches outside of that mileage. This is because for the right person I would entertain the idea of long distanc relationship & possibly relocation, however I want it to be realistic that I would be able to meet them in the first 4-6 months of OC. After reading the other posts, I've now decided to open my matches up to all of Canada...
Last edited by bellamagoo; May 13,2009 at 7:54pm.
 
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lulu41 is offline lulu41 Post #36  May 14,2009, 3:45am
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I believe that every one has there own set distance. What works for you may not work for some else. I first though just my state. Then I decided to be open to other state. And know I am corresponding with a wonderful person that is out of the states on business.
 
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mysteryspirit542 is offline mysteryspirit542 Post #37  May 14,2009, 8:53am
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Threads wrote :
I find most of the men close the match immediately due to distance. This gets very frustrating. And just what do you do with a match that states "willing to go 50 miles"? Is he serious? I live rural in a sparsly populated area and distance has to be a moot point. I get the impression that most men would like to meet someone who lives very close to them. Just more convenient.......less stress. Yeeeeesh!
I also find that men close out the match immediately due to distance. I figure that they must have put in for my distance so why do they close for distance? Or else, they just do not respond and I finally end up closing out. It is frustrating, but I have decided that if it is someone I'm very interested in and they live a distance away and have not closed me out I just leave them open. I figure that if it's meant to be I'll hear from them either when they do not find someone close or they do find someone, but I only do it with the ones I'm truely interested in.
I have put my distance at the entire USA, but do receive a lot from the East Coast, which is fine with me. I only get a few matches but I would rather have a few that might be compatable with me than a lot who I really wouldn't respond to.
Good luck on your venture.
 
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genuineBob is offline genuineBob Post #38  May 14,2009, 12:45pm
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lucky173 wrote :
Part of the problem I findis that because of where I'm located on Long Island, even the minimum distance of 30 milesreaches across Long Island Sound and into Ct. The *majority* of my matches are from CT. I'd say maybe 8 out of 10 that I'd get.


So, if I got a match right at the 30 mile limit in CT that would entail approx a 2 - 2 1/2 hour trip 'door to door' one direction for drive time, plus ferry trip. The cost of the ferry for vehicle/passenger is approx $65.00, and then another 2 - 2 1/2 hr trip back. So, 5 hours and $65.00 and I haven't even factored the date INTO the equation yet ??


There is no meeting in the middle obviously :-)


I've tried expanding my distance - then my matches seemto come from farther north in CT, a few in Mass, VT, NH ??? Isn't there 60 miles, 120 miles in any other direction but north from me???
First, a 120-mile radius should bring in some of New Jersey, and all of NYC (unless you live in a lighthouse at Montauk or Orient Point!)

As for meeting in the middle, it is possible: find someplace in the Bronx or Westchester, and you and your date will have about the same commute (and you'll save $65 on the ferry).
 
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genuineBob is offline genuineBob Post #39  May 14,2009, 12:59pm
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Threads wrote :
I find most of the men close the match immediately due to distance. This gets very frustrating. And just what do you do with a match that states "willing to go 50 miles"? Is he serious? I live rural in a sparsly populated area and distance has to be a moot point. I get the impression that most men would like to meet someone who lives very close to them. Just more convenient.......less stress. Yeeeeesh!
This behaviour is not limited to men, by any means! I have had a goodly number of women close me due to distance. I never know if they truly believe that I am too far away, or there is something else that they don't like about me and are trying to spare my feelings. Why does this matter? Because if someone I am attracted to is genuinely trying to close me for distance, I would try to overcome their misgivings; if it truly is for some other reason, I would respect their decision.

Many of these women were located between where I live and where I work. I finally decided to change my profile to explain that I travel a goodly distance (up to 1.5 hrs) to get to work, and that I would go further for romance! I think it has helped, as I am getting more honest close messages.

Can you tell me why a woman would close for a modest distance (say 1.5 hrs travel or less), when she is unlikely to be the one doing the traveling?
 
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genuineBob is offline genuineBob Post #40  May 14,2009, 1:08pm
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mysteryspirit542 wrote :
I also find that men close out the match immediately due to distance. I figure that they must have put in for my distance so why do they close for distance? Or else, they just do not respond and I finally end up closing out. It is frustrating, but I have decided that if it is someone I'm very interested in and they live a distance away and have not closed me out I just leave them open. I figure that if it's meant to be I'll hear from them either when they do not find someone close or they do find someone, but I only do it with the ones I'm truely interested in.
I have put my distance at the entire USA, but do receive a lot from the East Coast, which is fine with me. I only get a few matches but I would rather have a few that might be compatable with me than a lot who I really wouldn't respond to.
Good luck on your venture.
Don't feel bad about men closing you for distance. As you can see from the other posts on this topic, it is entirely possible that the man you were matched with had set a much smaller distance, and eHarmony's "flexible matching" put you two together despite his wishes.
 
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