Bad option for opening a closed match


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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #1  March 21,2009, 4:35pm
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Will someone please tell me why "Good luck with your search." is one of the options for requesting a reopening of a match? A lot - but not all - of the times it is just used as a form of politeness [?] and the person does not want to be reopened. I have requested to eharmony a number of times that this phrase should be deleted and replaced with something else not so ambiguous. Why anyone would bother to waste their time sending that message when they're not interested is beyond me.


Oh, and "Good luck in your search!" is part of a form rejection on match.com!!
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #2  March 21,2009, 4:56pm
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I get this response from a lot of women I've closed. I also use it occasionally when closed by a match I really liked (based on her profile).


I don't know why it's there, other than it may just be a way of saying "I appreciate you letting me know you're not interested, no hard feelings."


Others may feel differently.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #3  March 21,2009, 5:09pm
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I've never interpreted that option as a request to reopen a match; rather just a friendly way to respond to a close without requesting that the match be reopened (it does, though, give the other party the option of reopening the match later). I'll use it once in awhile when someone closes me, but I would still like to give him the option of reopening later if he changes their mind (which has, of course, never happened...lol).


But, you certainly shouldn't use it yourself if you don't wish to!
 
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grammar_gal is offline grammar_gal Post #4  March 21,2009, 5:44pm
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I closed a match recently and received an email alerting me to the fact that this match had sent a request to reopen the match - the request was the "Good luck with your search" message. I felt bad about closing the match anyhow - yes, sometimes that happens... but he was bemoaning the fact I live an hour away. He wants to zip code date. So I closed him. When I reopened it, he was surprised I had reopened it. He apparently did not know he was "asking" me to... anyhow, we have emailed a few more times, but he (his words) is waiting to exhaust the supply of women in his zip code. Woohoo.. I am waiting with breath that is baited. The only reason I did not close him again after that remark... is I simply did not wish to seem petty.
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #5  March 21,2009, 6:24pm
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I have never used "Good luck with your search." myself and most likely never will. I have gotten it sent to me from a number of my matches and most times I do not reopen for a number of reasons. In the times when I have reopened, one match Did want to continue, which we did until I closed her then reopened again because of the same request; however I finally closed her for what turned out to be the third and final time. [To be honest I did later ask eh to ask her to reopen from her side which she didn't bother doing. Well, I can live with my decision.] Another match who sent me the same "good luck" closed me for the "no chemistry" reason after I had reopened.


Strangely enough there have been Several matches who sent me the "good luck", then were closed again by me due to no activity, again sent me the "good luck" and I ended up closing them a third time due to no activity!
 
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Vaire1967 is offline Vaire1967 Post #6  March 21,2009, 6:28pm
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i don't understand? i've never tried to reopen a match, but i know that "Good luck with your search" is an option for replying to a close from a match.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #7  March 21,2009, 7:13pm
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I guess I just don't understand showing good will to someone who is rejecting you...lol.


Because "good luck in your search" is included in the re-open messages, I now assume there is a hidden agenda if someone sends me that after I close them. Maybe they are hoping I fall for it so that they can close me out (teeheehee)
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #8  March 21,2009, 7:32pm
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I've never tried reopening a "good luck with your search" closed match, because I don't usually close them until I know I don't want to pursue the match. Exceptions are if they were closed for lack of photo, or for being nonresponsive. I did have a match recently who I reopened for being nonresponsive, because she started responding. Then we continued with guided communication, and she became nonresponsive once again!
 
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pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #9  March 21,2009, 9:03pm
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Vaire, my whole point is that "good luck" should NOT be an option.


OCG, I really agree with your first sentence, but as I said there is a rare exception. In that case it is better to have another option. I mean, the other four choices for reopening are very clear. Maybe, for example, if one has been closed for not communicating, one can request to be reopened with an apology for having been too busy to reply?!


tbesq, did that particular match you talked about reopening use the "good luck" option? I wasn't sure. And also I assume you closed her again?
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #10  March 21,2009, 9:12pm
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pussinboots,542682 wrote :

Vaire, my whole point is that "good luck" should NOT be an option.


OCG, I really agree with your first sentence, but as I said there is a rare exception. In that case it is better to have another option. I mean, the other four choices for reopening are very clear. Maybe, for example, if one has been closed for not communicating, one can request to be reopened with an apology for having been too busy to reply?!


tbesq, did that particular match you talked about reopening use the "good luck" option? I wasn't sure. And also I assume you closed her again?
No, she used the "I want you to reconsider" response. When I get that response, I check the profile again to see why I closed her. If it was for nonresponsiveness, I generally reopen it.
 
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