Jim47 is offline Jim47 Post #41  January 27,2009, 2:50pm

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kirojunky,455872 wrote :

Jim47,455829 wrote :


DancingFool,455823 wrote :


Why do you equate wanting to meet you with not wanting to get to know you as a person?After all,being face to face with a person, seeing their smile, their body language and reactions is a lot more telling about who they really are than any form of electronic communication. It's thereal life as opposed to electronicinteraction that creates a genuine connection between the two people.Without thereal life interaction you are just developingan emotional bond with someone who is mostly afigment of your imagination - the longerthe electronic "relationship" goes on, the more likely the real life will be a shocking disappointment.


+1


Hey Jim47, I'm "sick of the cold" (under your picture) too. Hate it. Anyway, you make valid points. I replied to the guy who had "55 first dates and no second dates" as being arrogant. I stick by what I said regarding him. However, I agree with you as well. I have been with EH for one month. I really don't have patience. A couple of guys I GC with take a looong time-over a week-to answer questions or, in OC, to make a response--despite viewing my profile during that time. To me, this means they have doubts (despite what they had said). So, I closed them. One requested I reopen because he "thinks there is potential" or whatever the comment says, yet, he didn't complete the GC despite viewing my profile. Any theory on this? p.s. Stay warm!
Hey, I'm kind of of a mixed mind on this one. He might have so many matches he had trouble keeping up (during my short time with EH I received 6-8 every day). Or he could just have a passive approach.


I don't think EHarmony will work if one isn't active and involved. It's understandable to close him out if he waits too long to reply. If one just waits for the other to come and sweep them away it'll never happen.


I hope that helps. My experience with them was so-so so I'm not sure I'm much of an authority.


Stay warm yourself too!
 
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freestyle is offline freestyle Post #42  February 11,2009, 7:16am
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I have not gotten around a ton of those one and out dates, but It does seems strange how much either side has the potential to dismiss someone from a first date.





Before Eharmony I dismissed one woman, but I felt lied to by a picture that had to of been four years old. On those cheaper sites, I also ran into someone that was doing online dating to regain confidence after a bad break up. My emails and compliments were what she wanted. I felt like she wanted very specific things when she , on the first date, strongly pushed for me to attain the same graduate degree held by her father.





A date gives us a bit of a reality check after we both build up an image of the other person durin the weeks of open communication or emails.





it is a good sign that someone is coming out of this with a friend, but at the same time men or women could be likely to rush to judgment that someone is not a person they could be attracted to.





Even when I was 51% sure that the relationship might not make it, I would consider a 2nd date with someone that I liked overall. Men and women can fall into the trap of thinking life is like a sitcom or an Eharmony commercial that from our first phone call or our first date- we will know when we have the right person.





Being on Eharmony, some people have their guard up and some people are eager for a connection. Maybe part of it is that people switch modes of how they operate based on their goals. Valentines day or other external factors could rush someone to ask for a f2f
 
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