Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Using eHarmony If you have questions or comments about eHarmony's matching process, post it here. Or, lend your guidance and support to a fellow eHarmony member.

Reply
Page 2 of 5 1 2 3 4 Last »
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 Love is so confusing. There's no peace of mind

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,358

See profile

6dle899 wrote :

Let's make this a rhetorical question: Why SHOULDN'T they want to meet? Isn't that the PURPOSE of eHarmony after all? There are OTHER venues for pen pals if people want that.


...
This is a very good point.
- January 27th, 2009, 09:00 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#11   Reply With Quote
outlaw1 outlaw1 is offline
outlaw1's Avatar

outlaw1 Time for the phalanx to go back to work...

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 3,834

See profile



itsbits, wrote :


This question is for the guys, but might be for the girls if you're finding this the case too? Why don't the men follow the eharmony guidelines for going through the Open Communication Process. It seems the men don't bother to read the must haves cant stands, they don't really want to get to know someone through Open Communication, just want to meet. They don't seem to want to understand who I am, just get to the meet. If you mention you'd like to stay on course with Dr. Waren's message, they say they never bothered to read it. They act kinda like I'm some kind of wierdo because I'd like to get to know them (and a month of communicating with a stranger online isn't too long or too short..not that I demand a "month"). But after a couple really short messages, they just want to meet. What's up?


Sorry to hear you aren't getting guys who follow the rules. Probably too much excitement. You know, the guys who are "up" and want to get "down" with you! It's always a joy going thru the process with someone. I hope you meet more matches that use the system so you can fully enjoy all the advantages of it. All good energy.
- January 27th, 2009, 09:00 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#12   Reply With Quote
WaterHound WaterHound is offline
WaterHound's Avatar

WaterHound is purging all things > 2 yrs old.

Pacesetter

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 275

See profile



Argh, diatribe must have been monitored...and killed...


I believe nothing that I hear or read and only half of what I see first hand. The MH/CS are a check the box answer that doesnt give a clue to who you are, so I find it a waste of time. The OC, more often than not is just a misdirection. Ignition of my desire starts with the meeting and never before that.
- January 27th, 2009, 09:03 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#13   Reply With Quote
BikerBeagle BikerBeagle is online now
BikerBeagle's Avatar

BikerBeagle is, and always will be, a work in progress.

Veteran

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 1,174

See profile

itsbits wrote :

BikerBeagle wrote :


People who have online dated a while know that the guided communication and open communication phases are inconsequential if there is no chemisty in person, so they try to rush to the meeting up phase before spending a 'month' on 'getting to know you'.


That sounds mean-spirited, but welcome to online dating. I read of one guy who had gone on 55 first dates and 0 second dates. How much time do you think he wasted 'getting to know' those 55 people?


Read some posts in the "Using eHarmony" forum and see how frustrated people are with it.


Thanks for the input, but perhaps if the guy taking 55 first dates had bothered to get to know the woman and found the chemistry in communication, then he wouldn't have wasted time on 55 first dates. I'm not judging your comment, I appreciate it, but I guess this is where I don't understand the idea. I, as a woman, can develop alot of chemistry with the guy in just how we banter back and forth and know the person from a different perspective. I guess, it's just a different idea?
I only remembered reading about it ...I can't say if they guy was telling the truth, somehow sabotaging himself, or was simply butte ugly.


I can tell you that most people (men and women alike) do not believe that chemisty is something you can 'build', 'develop', or 'create' through email, text messages, and phone calls. You can certainly form an emotional attachment that way - and many do, even when they shouldn't - but true chemisty can only be discovered through in-person interaction.


Let it happen to you just one time - it very very likely will - and you will understand.


- January 27th, 2009, 09:04 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#14   Reply With Quote
BelieverinKY BelieverinKY is offline
BelieverinKY's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 56

See profile

javajava5 wrote :

This is very interesting as I do select my questions carefully, always ask my own 2nd set of questions, and pay careful attention to what my match writes to see if I even want to go forward with the person.


Don't care for it too much when a match doesn't take it seriously and fluffs off the questions. When that happens, I tend to close the match. I much prefer it when a match writes in his own answers to the Stage 1 questions. I like to make the process work for me in ways that are meaningful to me.


I also prefer the answers from my matches to be written, rather than the match writing they'll tell me later which usually doesn't happen I've discovered.


The process works as a good screening tool for me to let me know if I even want to meet a match.


JavaJava5
I tend to agree. Although I don't hold it too much against someone I much prefer to see personalized answers to the questions. It shows the person is thinking and potentially creative.





Going thru the process is good but in the end, there is nothing like meeting to determine if there is true chemistry. Afterall, all other wonderful types of chemistry and connection are for naught if if you don't want to jump across the table and lay one on them :-)
- January 27th, 2009, 09:06 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#15   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Mr_Right Mr_Right is offline
Mr_Right's Avatar

Mr_Right says check out the new profile picture

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 2,878

See profile

BikerBeagle wrote :

itsbits wrote :


BikerBeagle wrote :


People who have online dated a while know that the guided communication and open communication phases are inconsequential if there is no chemisty in person, so they try to rush to the meeting up phase before spending a 'month' on 'getting to know you'.


That sounds mean-spirited, but welcome to online dating. I read of one guy who had gone on 55 first dates and 0 second dates. How much time do you think he wasted 'getting to know' those 55 people?


Read some posts in the "Using eHarmony" forum and see how frustrated people are with it.


Thanks for the input, but perhaps if the guy taking 55 first dates had bothered to get to know the woman and found the chemistry in communication, then he wouldn't have wasted time on 55 first dates. I'm not judging your comment, I appreciate it, but I guess this is where I don't understand the idea. I, as a woman, can develop alot of chemistry with the guy in just how we banter back and forth and know the person from a different perspective. I guess, it's just a different idea?


I only remembered reading about it ...I can't say if they guy was telling the truth, somehow sabotaging himself, or was simply butte ugly.


I can tell you that most people (men and women alike) do not believe that chemisty is something you can 'build', 'develop', or 'create' through email, text messages, and phone calls. You can certainly form an emotional attachment that way - and many do, even when they shouldn't - but true chemisty can only be discovered through in-person interaction.


Let it happen to you just one time - it very very likely will - and you will understand.

I'm too picky, I guess.


Plus the percentage of horror story dates to normal dates is rather heavily weighted in the horror story date section.
- January 27th, 2009, 09:08 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#16   Reply With Quote
Red Sox Girl Red Sox Girl is offline
Red Sox Girl's Avatar

Red Sox Girl It's almost time folks.....

Unregistered

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 3,852

See profile

Mr_Right wrote :

I'm too picky, I guess.


Plus the percentage of horror story dates to normal dates is rather heavily weighted in the horror story date section.
You're worth being picky......Otherwise, how will you find Mrs Right?


- January 27th, 2009, 09:12 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#17   Reply With Quote
Mr_Right Mr_Right is offline
Mr_Right's Avatar

Mr_Right says check out the new profile picture

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 2,878

See profile

Red Sox Girl wrote :

Mr_Right wrote :


I'm too picky, I guess.


Plus the percentage of horror story dates to normal dates is rather heavily weighted in the horror story date section.


You're worth being picky......Otherwise, how will you find Mrs Right?

Darn right!
- January 27th, 2009, 09:14 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#18   Reply With Quote
Steve_Cam Steve_Cam is offline
Steve_Cam's Avatar

Steve_Cam is going to clean house

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 753

See profile



i see it with women too,, but whatcha gonna do? I just watch for signs and close away,,


-Steve Cam
- January 27th, 2009, 09:20 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#19   Reply With Quote
trailviews trailviews is offline
trailviews's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 519

See profile

itsbits, wrote :

This question is for the guys, but might be for the girls if you're finding this the case too? Why don't the men follow the eharmony guidelines for going through the Open Communication Process. [...] What's up?
Unless you choose to fast track, there's no way for a man to avoid the guided communication process (unless he just fails to answer the questions). If you don't click "close" when a guy fails to do so, that's your fault.
- January 27th, 2009, 09:21 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#20   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 2 of 5 1 2 3 4 Last »

Bookmarks

« Lame questions | Array | Meeting somebody from Eharmony for the first time »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I liked what you said about why you are dating around. I think that is a fair enough thing to explain if they start to insist on knowing whether you are dating multiple people. Right now you're just ... ” – nightling

Join the “Ethical Considerations In Dating Multiple People” discussion

“Thanksgiving is in two days. I don't think that will be a major hurdle considering most people will be busy for the holidays. Even though I despise texting, communication is key. Lack of ... ” – Dafearon

Join the “not sure what to do...???” discussion

“A woman making more than me? Hello sugar momma! In reference to the OP, you'll never know a woman is this way unless they're upfront. I've seen it from all angles too, not just money. I say just go ... ” – kneo24

Join the “"I won't date a guy unless he makes as much money as me."” discussion

“Hmm my take on it. I would say he sent the email to tease you bc you said you didn't like forwards, so he thought it would be amusing. Trouble is, he mostly amused himself. I wouldn't necessarily ... ” – indigirl1975

Join the “Opinions please” discussion

“I can only agree with everyone else and would only add one important thing - this was not a unilateral decision that he made. It was even more his ex-gf's choice than his and yes, he supported her ... ” – DancingFool

Join the “Bad Past, Good” discussion

“Best TV show ever.” – Tom023

Join the “Make her go away...” discussion

“I'm on here almost every day ...ok, every day, darn it, but I can quit anytime I want! What am I? ...chopped liver? (I never understood that question, by the way ...why don't they just say ... ” – BikerBeagle

Join the “Is everyone but me dating?” discussion

“Suppose you have 3 matches. Let's be creative and call them A, B, and C. Suppose your Who's Viewed list says A viewed 2 days ago, B viewed yesterday and C viewed today. Two days later, it will say ... ” – kneo24

Join the “How to find this?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:28 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0