Do men understand that women may not be comfortable meeting right off the bat?

I do think a lot of the people here are guilty of the same thing. Assuming if a person doesn't want to give up a picture immediately that they've got something to hide. It would be one thing if I had asked for a pic and then wouldn't give mine. There are a couple of reasons besides safety that I didn't want to display my pic.
I'm gorgeous and I don't want the attention of guys who just want to have a good looking woman on their arm and aren't so concerned about substance...Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit “not bad” is probably closer to the truth.

Turn on the news in any city and you'll hear horror stories about some very scary things happening to women. Inevitably if it's mentioned that the woman met the man online, you get the sense that many are thinking "when will they learn to be more careful?"


This is my first foray into online dating and I participated in the free communication this lastweekend. I had a lot of matches and was in communication with approximately 7 people. I put in my profile that I would only be available for "communication" through the weekend at this time. I made it to open communication with one man who promptly sent me an email with his offsite email and phone number saying he was looking forward to meeting me. I sent him an e-card on Monday saying I was looking forward to getting to know him better.


I was very busy this week and wanted to put some thought into my first email, so I didn't send it out until Saturday. I showed some interest for some things in his profile and shared a little about myself in those same areas. It was about 10 sentences long and just enough to start a conversation without being too long-winded (believe me, much shorter than this post!). The subject line was "Getting to know you...". I finished with "So,tell me a little about yourself.....I get an email back this morning... 1 sentence, very brief reference to one of the things I had asked about. And then he said if you'd like to meet me call me and again put his phone number. I don't know anything about this guy, except that he has internet access and he doesn't seem too interested in helping that process along.


So, do you guys understand that we don't know you, we don't know anyone else that knows you and we'd be a little more comfortable talking to you a little bit to see if any red flags pop up for us?


I understand that a meet would take place in a public setting and that they are not inviting me into their home to show me their basement . But, in my (hawt) youth, I've had guys follow me home from clubs when I didn't give out my phone number to them. I've had a guy who was dating my girlfriend, until she moved out of town to get away from his abuse, leave a note on my door that he wants to get to know me.... and no, as far as I know she never told him where I lived.


I'm entitled and, frankly, smart to be cautious. So these guys that talk about what gentlemen they are, etc., don't they want to make me comfortable before meeting them? I've read over and over about how if women won't provide a pic or don't want to meet right away that they are closed or blown-off... How considerate can I expect them to be in the future if they have no respect for my sense of safety?
Guys, weigh in here please, I'm really asking for your input. Thanks for your time.

Redevil:


Thanks for the follow-up.


I see 2-3 weeks as being a perfectly fine length of time for communication before meeting. Just make sure the communication is constant.


Also, I'm sticking to my arguments (mine weren't in the "something to hide" category) on photos. I think the superficiality idea is limited somewhat since you had to spend a good solid hour or so filling out that personality profile, so you're getting these matches based on concepts other than looks.


And like I said before, if I can put my mug out there, anybody can.

These women got into trouble because they didn't use common sense.


I never go to meet someone for the first time unless it is a very public place, like the mall. I also don't park at the closest entrance to where I will be meeting them.


I also let several people know where I will be and how long I anticpate I will be there. I also print out and leave on my kitchen table information about the person I am meeting.