Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Using eHarmony If you have questions or comments about eHarmony's matching process, post it here. Or, lend your guidance and support to a fellow eHarmony member.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
angel angel is offline
angel's Avatar

angel May your lives be filled with God's loves this year.

Quick Study

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 125

See profile



I am trying to save myself for marriage. And am interested in sex after marriage. But I keep getting matched with guys who want sexually knowledge or passionate. I know I will not get along with those guys. But saythey want someone whosaves sex for marriageortraditional sex and I am a virgin still I should get along with those type of guys.

Ichecked in my cant stand infidelity,.

Could i of when I took my relationship questionnairesaid something to get matched like that.

- March 25th, 2008, 11:38 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
dragonfly2 dragonfly2 is offline
dragonfly2's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 4

See profile

angel, wrote :

I am trying to save myself for marriage. And am interested in sex after marriage. But I keep getting matched with guys who want sexually knowledge or passionate. I know I will not get along with those guys. But saythey want someone whosaves sex for marriageortraditional sex and I am a virgin still I should get along with those type of guys.

Ichecked in my cant stand infidelity,.

Could i of when I took my relationship questionnairesaid something to get matched like that.
I personally think your stance on the matter should be respected. I think the right man will also respect your choice. I don't think that their listing such should immediately disqualify them, or suggest they would not be open to your choice, in fact, you may be pleasantly surprised. However, if you are in any way uncomfortable by their must haves/cant stands etc...or feel apprehensive about the match in general, always listen to your instinct, and move on. I do not believe this to be in direct correlation to how you answered your questionaire, I just think for whatever reason, a majority of men feel the need to state such in their answers. I personally close a match if it is stated 2-3 times, yes, I get it, however, I am interested in a real connection. I figure with the right person, in the right situation, and with good communication a sexual relationship built from a solid foundation of trust and friendship will be a loving and nurturing experience. You take your time, listen to your instincts, and just be yourself, I think you will be fine.
- March 29th, 2008, 10:32 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
danb35 danb35 is offline
danb35's Avatar

Pacesetter

Join Date: Feb 2008

Posts: 293

See profile

angel, wrote :

I am trying to save myself for marriage. And am interested in sex after marriage. But I keep getting matched with guys who want sexually knowledge or passionate.
Just to give another perspective here--I (a guy) am also saving myself for marriage, but I checked "Passionate" on the must-haves list. My thinking was that I want to be with somebody who, once we're married, will be "passionate" (per eH's definition)--but can also wait until then. My girlfriend (who feels the same way about premarital sex) questioned me about that item a bit to make sure she understood what I meant by it, but is fine with this.

So, maybe you shouldn't be so quick to close out "passionate"--if they otherwise look good, it might be worth asking a few questions to clarify what they mean.
- March 30th, 2008, 06:53 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
badbobbie1231 badbobbie1231 is offline
badbobbie1231's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 30

See profile



Hey I think you are awesome to sticking to your beliefs.

I am a 26 year old Christian virgin. Due to my faith, I will only feel comfortable with someone that has waited like I have. I close out matches all the time for people who have not saved themselves for marriage. I want someone who is like minded in that area with me.

There are millions of people out there, dont compromise something that is a must have for you.
- March 30th, 2008, 12:47 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
tallos05 tallos05 is offline
tallos05's Avatar

tallos05 is happy.

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 8

See profile



As far as your question goes u have indicated on your questionair that u want a guy that has passion in there personality and more then likely a desire to plz. These guys u get are not bad for u ... but u have to be very clear to them what u are and are not willing to do before marrige ... I have encounterd wemen that dont even want to kiss before they find the "right one" .. personaly if i cant kiss them im GONE... but a woman that wants to w8 im perfectly willing to accept.. and help her w8 till we are married.. i did this before i got married ... of corse she decided to leave me for her schooling.. so... I have a different look on things like that.

By what u said u would close me off before u even met me. yet i have the exact mind frame u need... as far as personality goes u need some one that is righ for u.. but all in all dont just close due to ... Have: Passion... sexual compatability. we all want that .. but some of us are willing to w8 for it, for the right person.
- March 31st, 2008, 08:00 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

PrettyinPink474 PrettyinPink474 is offline
PrettyinPink474's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 4

See profile

badbobbie1231 wrote :

Hey I think you are awesome to sticking to your beliefs.

I am a 26 year old Christian virgin. Due to my faith, I will only feel comfortable with someone that has waited like I have. I close out matches all the time for people who have not saved themselves for marriage. I want someone who is like minded in that area with me.

There are millions of people out there, dont compromise something that is a must have for you.
Wow, don't you thinkyou are limiting yourself to a good woman who maybe did not know God until later in life? I speak from experience because although there would be nothing I would love more than to know my husband and I waited for each other I know I cannot take choices I made over 10 yrs ago back. Just a thought.....
- May 25th, 2008, 12:44 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
DiannaTheDreamer DiannaTheDreamer is offline
DiannaTheDreamer's Avatar

DiannaTheDreamer is thinking happy thoughts! :)

Newbie

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 12

See profile

PrettyinPink474 wrote :

badbobbie1231 wrote :


Hey I think you are awesome to sticking to your beliefs.


I am a 26 year old Christian virgin. Due to my faith, I will only feel comfortable with someone that has waited like I have. I close out matches all the time for people who have not saved themselves for marriage. I want someone who is like minded in that area with me.


There are millions of people out there, dont compromise something that is a must have for you.

Wow, don't you thinkyou are limiting yourself to a good woman who maybe did not know God until later in life? I speak from experience because although there would be nothing I would love more than to know my husband and I waited for each other I know I cannot take choices I made over 10 yrs ago back. Just a thought.....
PrettyinPink474, you have a point. There are certianly great people who's beliefs and lifestyles have changed later in life...one of my favorite Christian authors on dating met his wife exactly that way.


However, to badbobbie, I am also a 26yr old Christian virgin who believes completely in waiting until marriage, and so was my 37yr old brother when he got married...so don't give up the ship! We aren't that rare!
- June 28th, 2008, 08:34 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Tank Tank is offline
Tank's Avatar

Tank Welcome to the TerrorDome

Pacesetter

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 447

See profile



I am on the other side of the equation. I am only interested in a women if they are comfortable having sex on a regular basis but like the line says in a "mature way". I think you are limiting yourself by excluding men who say they are passionate. Now the men who want a women who is sexually knowledgable, I think you should exclude them if they lists this as a Must have.


Good Luck All


- June 28th, 2008, 08:49 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
BillyParadise BillyParadise is offline
BillyParadise's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 48

See profile



Sexual incompatibility had a lot to do with the breakup of my first marriage. I put "sexually knowledgeable" in my must-haves here on EH, because I only want to get married one more time, and I'd rather be upfront about my feelings on the matter, and make sure there was compatibility BEFOREhand.





- June 28th, 2008, 09:27 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
forthefunofit forthefunofit is offline
forthefunofit's Avatar

forthefunofit is happy.

Quick Study

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 87

See profile

angel, wrote :

I am trying to save myself for marriage. And am interested in sex after marriage. But I keep getting matched with guys who want sexually knowledge or passionate. I know I will not get along with those guys. But saythey want someone whosaves sex for marriageortraditional sex and I am a virgin still I should get along with those type of guys.


Ichecked in my cant stand infidelity,.


Could i of when I took my relationship questionnairesaid something to get matched like that.

STICK to your standards, Angel girl. You will kick yourself if you let some smuck unwrap the most beautiful gift that the Lord gave you for that one special man. Guys are the carriers of STD'S and most of the time they aren't aware of it. I was married for 23 years and I have been single for one year and three months. The thought of having sex with a man scares the heck out of me!!!
I am so, so proud of you. Even though I wasn't a virgin when I married, I was so disappointed with myself because I did not save my body for my ex-hubby. There is nothing easy about abstinence but that is one thing about yourself that youwill not haveserious regrets.


Proverbs 3:5-6...Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, lean not on thine own understanding, butin all thy ways acknowledge Him and he shall direct thy paths.


FORTHEFUNOFIT
- June 28th, 2008, 09:52 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks

« What is the best line of the following to close with initially? | Array | On hold »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Relax. Have fun. Lilycat” – Lilycat

Join the “always so paranoid” discussion

“I'm not sure if you are ranting or asking something. Were you asking for advice whether to talk to them in Facebook? If yes, then it all boils down to this question: if you saw these ladies on FB ... ” – MMingE

Join the “matches dont respond/their profile says contact them on face book” discussion

“ Although I don't doubt there are men that can be attracted that would not "poof" because of your behavior I would have to say that the fact they don't "poof" is the most damaging evidence of their ... ” – Can_I_just_be_Jo

Join the “Need some advice please...” discussion

“ He knows the abuse wasn't sexual, and he knows I am not gay or bisexual.” – charity8987

Join the “Argh, screwed up with new guy.” discussion

“my dream color is medium red brown with auburn tones” – jtwark

Join the “L'Oréal's 'Find Your Fall Hair Color' Sweepstakes!” discussion

“"Billed in one installment of $239.40" means, "Billed once for $239.40." Pardon me for saying this, but if I had less than $40 in my bank account, buying an eHarmony subscription will be the least ... ” – Coca-Cola

Join the “eHarmony payment plans” discussion

“ Call them!” – Coca-Cola

Join the “FCW - Interesting Problem” discussion

“It appears the OP hasn't participated in EhA since she login and posed her question initially. We all come to these advise boards with so many different backgrounds...in fact I wrote another post on ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Frustrated & Confused: Is He A Sexual Addict???” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:42 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0