Ladyairdragon is offline Ladyairdragon Post #1  January 4,2009, 12:02pm
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I have read through so many of these things and just wonder if it there is really any point in even putting your self out there. People are scared to use there real names, scared to put there incomes, heck I was scared to put what I do for a living because I though that people would just think "Oh just a ditzy hairdresser"


The main reason I am on here is because I attract Two different kinds of men at this point in my life.


The first one - the 30 plus year old who lives with and mooches off his parents and is looking for another mommy.


The other kind


The second one - The guy who uses you and tosses you to the side like yesterdays trash not really wanting to talk to you because he is better than you.


So my best friend said, "Try Eharmony" I have had matches and have sent questions with no answers, I have gotten I think1 view.


I don't think I am ugly, but I am not the normal American Beauty. No blonde hair here and never will be (I look horrible that way, I know I have tried)


I take care of myself and my daughter, I work my behind off to have everything that we have. So where are the men who do that same thing, that I don't have to travel to another demension for. (yes that part was a joke).


This was in no way meant to offend anyone.
 
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trishi is offline trishi Post #2  January 4,2009, 1:06pm
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Ladyairdragon, wrote :

I have read through so many of these things and just wonder if it there is really any point in even putting your self out there. People are scared to use there real names, scared to put there incomes, heck I was scared to put what I do for a living because I though that people would just think "Oh just a ditzy hairdresser"


The main reason I am on here is because I attract Two different kinds of men at this point in my life.


The first one - the 30 plus year old who lives with and mooches off his parents and is looking for another mommy.


The other kind


The second one - The guy who uses you and tosses you to the side like yesterdays trash not really wanting to talk to you because he is better than you.


So my best friend said, "Try Eharmony" I have had matches and have sent questions with no answers, I have gotten I think1 view.


I don't think I am ugly, but I am not the normal American Beauty. No blonde hair here and never will be (I look horrible that way, I know I have tried)


I take care of myself and my daughter, I work my behind off to have everything that we have. So where are the men who do that same thing, that I don't have to travel to another demension for. (yes that part was a joke).


This was in no way meant to offend anyone.
Ihave this discussion with my friend all the time. I am 30, educated, never been married, no children, well-spoken, have a good job...and I can cook! I am going to start classes to get masters at a prominent university. So what is the problem?? Is it that my expectations are too high? Do I need to lower my standards to be in a relationship? I don't believe so. I have found that men (sorry for the generalization) want someone to take care of. Iam capable of doing that myself...but not that it wouldn't be nice. Don't give up yet! You would be sacrificing something that is important to you. It will happen will probably happen when you least expect it.
 
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travelfairy is offline travelfairy Post #3  January 4,2009, 1:28pm
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Don't despair, it could be a few things... people in smaller towns or villages can have a hard time finding matches, particularly if they don't have some bigger distances they are prepared to travel. This isn't a reflection on you, the just the availability of single men in your area.


Another thing is the profile - get some friends, including male ones, to read your profile and check out your pics. They say that wearing red in your profile picture will increase the number of responses. Maybe there are some photos that other people think are less flattering than what you think (harsh, I know). Do you have a full body pic? People like to see the full deal, and a lot of guys get suspicious with head-only shots. Ask around your friends and see if anybody has any pics where you're looking fabulous.


If you can get their feedback on your profile as well, that could also be valuable. Maybe you have unwittingly put something in that has a bigger impact than you thought. See if you can also compare your profiles to other women's out there to get tips.


It might just be a matter of tweaking a few things, and then you'll find you're inundated. Don't give up! :-)
 
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jmastanduno is offline jmastanduno Post #4  January 4,2009, 1:47pm
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I have been using e for over a year now. I Have met some very nice people along the way but I find alot of women are suprised that I have my children alernating weeks (not weekENDS) 7 days ON and 7 days OFF. The schedule is flexible as things come up.


I get the impression however that while its perceived to be very noble, itsmore date poison than not. Why would this be considered to bein the minus column? Most women are with their children over 75% of the time.


Let me also say that all other things beingfairly "normal", IE, have acareer,responsiblities, never been incarcerated, I dont look likeFrankenstein, love myself and life, etc.
 
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jmastanduno is offline jmastanduno Post #5  January 4,2009, 2:11pm
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I attractmostly 2 types of women at this point in my life.


The first one -ones that areattractive but have the "cant touch this" attitude. Big turn off to me at least.


The other kind - Managerial A types who run off in a cloud ofdust when they find out that you probably arent pulling 100K+ a year AS WELLand no BMW......


I don't think I amhomely either. Nogrey hairhere andits still all still there. Im nice, respectful, responsibleand not a psychotic parolee.


I also take care of myself andchildren, I work my behind off to have everything that we have AND pay support and alimony. So where are the women whoappreciate such a guy? If Im not at work, I'm taking care of my children as we have joint custody and they are with me half the time. That also seems to me like its very date-thwarting, although I wouldnt understand why when most mothers have their children the vast majority of the time.


With life and schedules etc I just find it very difficult to meet new people other than online, thank goodnes for e dating or I would be much less optimistic about meeting someone.
 
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rob_s_7 is offline rob_s_7 Post #6  January 4,2009, 2:58pm
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Ladyairdragon, wrote :

I have read through so many of these things and just wonder if it there is really any point in even putting your self out there. People are scared to use there real names, scared to put there incomes, heck I was scared to put what I do for a living because I though that people would just think "Oh just a ditzy hairdresser"


The main reason I am on here is because I attract Two different kinds of men at this point in my life.


The first one - the 30 plus year old who lives with and mooches off his parents and is looking for another mommy.


The other kind


The second one - The guy who uses you and tosses you to the side like yesterdays trash not really wanting to talk to you because he is better than you.


So my best friend said, "Try Eharmony" I have had matches and have sent questions with no answers, I have gotten I think1 view.


I don't think I am ugly, but I am not the normal American Beauty. No blonde hair here and never will be (I look horrible that way, I know I have tried)


I take care of myself and my daughter, I work my behind off to have everything that we have. So where are the men who do that same thing, that I don't have to travel to another demension for. (yes that part was a joke).


This was in no way meant to offend anyone.
I hear this all the time, but surprisingly women tend to dismiss all other men other than that two types in the first 3 seconds of meeting. You either want somebody who stays with you with the children that's type 1; or the alpha male who is the leader of men. Its the biology. I just laugh how 40000 year old habits can make life miserable. For men its the approach anxiety, which saved life when we lived in smallish tribes, but nowdays makes no sense. So probably the right men just don't have the guts to walk up to you.
 
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suzyblueeyes is offline suzyblueeyes Post #7  January 4,2009, 3:45pm
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Obviously you are trying something new with joining eharmony, but I wonder if there isn't more you could do differently. If you keep doing the same thing and attracting the same kind of guy, it can't hurt to change things up a bit. I get a lot of responses on eharmony, but I also contact a lot of people. I either close or contact every person I matched with, and that seems to work at least in generating interest. I have found that the ones I liked most weren't necessarily the ones whose profiles I liked most.
 
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vapsman88 is offline vapsman88 Post #8  January 4,2009, 4:08pm
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Ladyairdragon, wrote :

I have read through so many of these things and just wonder if it there is really any point in even putting your self out there. People are scared to use there real names, scared to put there incomes, heck I was scared to put what I do for a living because I though that people would just think "Oh just a ditzy hairdresser"


The main reason I am on here is because I attract Two different kinds of men at this point in my life.


The first one - the 30 plus year old who lives with and mooches off his parents and is looking for another mommy.


The other kind


The second one - The guy who uses you and tosses you to the side like yesterdays trash not really wanting to talk to you because he is better than you.


So my best friend said, "Try Eharmony" I have had matches and have sent questions with no answers, I have gotten I think1 view.


I don't think I am ugly, but I am not the normal American Beauty. No blonde hair here and never will be (I look horrible that way, I know I have tried)


I take care of myself and my daughter, I work my behind off to have everything that we have. So where are the men who do that same thing, that I don't have to travel to another demension for. (yes that part was a joke).


This was in no way meant to offend anyone.
I am very frustrated like you are and I am on the other side of the aisle, so to speak. I don't think your profession is a negative, though I can only speak for myself. Personally I think it is a noble profession, though I have been mocked for saying so. Little minds are not worthing losing sleep over.


Obviously you should avoid those two types like the plague. I can't believe you can't find an other types, but maybe it is your area. I live in Southern California and eH was a crashing failure for me. I couldn't even manage one date during 6 months.


Well you are definitely very attractive, and you need to be you and try to conform to what the media brainwashes everybody to be.


There are guys out there who would be happy to have you as a partner, believe me. I'm sure it will happen for you.
 
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sillymama is offline sillymama Post #9  January 4,2009, 6:17pm
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jmastanduno,413781 wrote :

I have been using e for over a year now. I Have met some very nice people along the way but I find alot of women are suprised that I have my children alernating weeks (not weekENDS) 7 days ON and 7 days OFF. The schedule is flexible as things come up.


I get the impression however that while its perceived to be very noble, itsmore date poison than not. Why would this be considered to bein the minus column? Most women are with their children over 75% of the time.


Let me also say that all other things beingfairly "normal", IE, have acareer,responsiblities, never been incarcerated, I dont look likeFrankenstein, love myself and life, etc.
On behalf of all women (well the ones like me anyhow lol) That seems weird! One of the top qualities I look for in a man is how he is with his children. I guess it depends on their situation if the women did alternating weeks as well but you both were opposite weeks that could make dating very difficult for you two but for me I think it is great.


Maybe you need to change your must haves to include someone to treat your children like their own-that is one of my must have's and some women don't want to "raise" someones else's children. try and weed them out up front and don't give up beacause you will find someone who repects that about you.
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #10  January 5,2009, 1:08am

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Ladyairdragon, wrote :

I have read through so many of these things and just wonder if it there is really any point in even putting your self out there. People are scared to use there real names, scared to put there incomes, heck I was scared to put what I do for a living because I though that people would just think "Oh just a ditzy hairdresser"


The main reason I am on here is because I attract Two different kinds of men at this point in my life.


The first one - the 30 plus year old who lives with and mooches off his parents and is looking for another mommy.


The other kind


The second one - The guy who uses you and tosses you to the side like yesterdays trash not really wanting to talk to you because he is better than you.


So my best friend said, "Try Eharmony" I have had matches and have sent questions with no answers, I have gotten I think1 view.


I don't think I am ugly, but I am not the normal American Beauty. No blonde hair here and never will be (I look horrible that way, I know I have tried)


I take care of myself and my daughter, I work my behind off to have everything that we have. So where are the men who do that same thing, that I don't have to travel to another demension for. (yes that part was a joke).


This was in no way meant to offend anyone.
Gosh I know what you mean. Sometimes I just want to give up. Spending thousands of hours & looking for a friendly, intelligent, sensitive, down to earth woman who doesn't hate men. The main reason I am here is because at thispoint of my life, I attract two different kinds of women.


The first one is a woman who wants to know right away what your income/job is. She has 1,2,3 or more kids, recentlyjustcrushed some nice guy&needs help paying the bills and raising the children. After she finds out you don't owna mansion or a jet, shequicklycloses you out.


The second is the woman wholies & plays games. She lies about her age by ten or twenty years. Or sheshows you a picture that was taken in 1982.Another normal thing is for her to play "which one is me?" She'll have only one picture posted of a group of women...


When I foundout about EHarmony I was really pysched. In a way Istill am; it's a great service. I take care of my obligations and work my butt off. So why do women raceto close out matches like they are trying to avoid some Tsunami? Where are all the nonmaterialistic womenIkeep hearing about?And why must so many women bash males? I pray toGod I don't endup with a woman like that.


This wasn't meant to offend anyone. Since women ask men to "communicate more" I thought I'd speak up. All good energy.
 
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