magicflower is offline magicflower Post #1  March 23,2008, 6:51am
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I have been dating this man for 5 months, we are exclusive. I have even left the country on vacation with him. We see each other every Sat. nite romantically. He picks me up at my home with my 3 sons present. He has spent some time with them aswell. His family comes to town every Holiday I did not meet them the past 2 times because we were just starting to date,. I was suppose to meet them this Easter trip but he says "the schedule just isnt going to work out". ??? He also apologized for "not calling me the past couple of days since they have been here". ??? His family consists of: sister & husband & their 3 daughters & their boyfriends and his son & daughter bothcollege age. Is it too soon to meet? He hasn't even said "the love word" yet. ??? Should I be as hurt as I am?
 
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SkyHawk is offline SkyHawk Post #2  March 25,2008, 8:17pm
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Five months? I'd say something's up. Use the hurt to motivate you to find out what's up, then let it go.
 
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sharebear1 is offline sharebear1 Post #3  March 26,2008, 7:39pm
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I had a very similar experience with my previous relationship. With my boyfriend, it turned out that he felt very guilty for having left his wife and gotten a divorce, and he thought that he had irrevocably hurt his daughter. He thought introducing me to his daughter would be a betrayal, so he hid me away and I was his "guilty pleasure," for lack of a better term, and over time it turned into a "guilty misery," because he just could not reconcile the fact that he had left his wife. Also, I never got to meet his parents or his sister. He also told me his friends would probably not accept me, since they all loved his ex-wife. It became unbearable for me, and I never really called him on it. Now I wish I had, because it would have saved me a lot of misery if I had stood up for what I wanted in the relationship. It was very important for me to feel loved and included in his life, but I ended up feeling excluded and unloved. In the end, he broke up with me, and it took me a long time to realize that I hadn't been happy in the relationship. Now I would never put up with such nonsense from a man!! I hope that you will stand up for yourself and ask for what you want, need and deserve in your relationship. If he can't give that to you, then you will need to make a choice to do what is best for you. Good luck, and keep us posted as to how things progress! Best wishes.
 
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roby38 is offline roby38 Post #4  March 26,2008, 7:53pm
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Sounds like something is up. It took a while for my fiance to introduce me to his parents (about 4.5 months). His statement was that he wanted to keep me to his self. I love his family but now understand where he was coming from. Hang in there! His folks are helping me plan our wedding!! That's a good thing for me, I'm not good at that!
 
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j2wishfull_lady is offline j2wishfull_lady Post #5  March 26,2008, 8:10pm
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magicflower, wrote :
I have been dating this man for 5 months, we are exclusive. I have even left the country on vacation with him. We see each other every Sat. nite romantically. He picks me up at my home with my 3 sons present. He has spent some time with them aswell. His family comes to town every Holiday I did not meet them the past 2 times because we were just starting to date,. I was suppose to meet them this Easter trip but he says "the schedule just isnt going to work out". ??? He also apologized for "not calling me the past couple of days since they have been here". ??? His family consists of: sister & husband & their 3 daughters & their boyfriends and his son & daughter bothcollege age. Is it too soon to meet? He hasn't even said "the love word" yet. ??? Should I be as hurt as I am?
I will try andgive you an example. A very dear friend of mine met a man recenty. He is divorced. He has children. She really likeshim a lot. He likes her to. They have gone out on dates before without his children. Her children are grown and not at home. They gone on trips but not overnight.

Se has wanted to meet his family. They first met before Christmas. It appears they have become good friends. He hasn't been quite ready to share his family as he is still not sure of what he wants of their relationship. This past week he invited her to church. His children were there and it seemed tobe a good time to meet them. This Friday she is invited to a very formal event. This seems to be very special for her and he is a little timid. They are both moving with positive steps and are being very honest about what of them want with this relationship. Five months for you could e a long time. It may not be for him.

I think all relationships move at different paces sometimes like an escalator. One is going up and the other is going down. You need to meet in themiddle and have some really good conversations about your expectations. I don't think you should get ahead of yourself. I do think you should really try to be friends before you become intimate. Love has a memory for each of you.Yours should be what you want it to be and act accordingly. You bothwill appreciate the beginning and not end if you respect each other while your Love is allowed to blossom.

Remember, this is an example ofmy frendsrelationship and they are taking it a step at a time. I think you may be moving to quickly and missing some of steps of your relationship. Pray about it. Listen to your heart. take time to listen to each other. Good luck. God Bless you.
 
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j2wishfull_lady is offline j2wishfull_lady Post #6  March 26,2008, 8:10pm
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magicflower, wrote :
I have been dating this man for 5 months, we are exclusive. I have even left the country on vacation with him. We see each other every Sat. nite romantically. He picks me up at my home with my 3 sons present. He has spent some time with them aswell. His family comes to town every Holiday I did not meet them the past 2 times because we were just starting to date,. I was suppose to meet them this Easter trip but he says "the schedule just isnt going to work out". ??? He also apologized for "not calling me the past couple of days since they have been here". ??? His family consists of: sister & husband & their 3 daughters & their boyfriends and his son & daughter bothcollege age. Is it too soon to meet? He hasn't even said "the love word" yet. ??? Should I be as hurt as I am?
I will try andgive you an example. A very dear friend of mine met a man recenty. He is divorced. He has children. She really likeshim a lot. He likes her to. They have gone out on dates before without his children. Her children are grown and not at home. They gone on trips but not overnight.

Se has wanted to meet his family. They first met before Christmas. It appears they have become good friends. He hasn't been quite ready to share his family as he is still not sure of what he wants of their relationship. This past week he invited her to church. His children were there and it seemed tobe a good time to meet them. This Friday she is invited to a very formal event. This seems to be very special for her and he is a little timid. They are both moving with positive steps and are being very honest about what of them want with this relationship. Five months for you could e a long time. It may not be for him.

I think all relationships move at different paces sometimes like an escalator. One is going up and the other is going down. You need to meet in themiddle and have some really good conversations about your expectations. I don't think you should get ahead of yourself. I do think you should really try to be friends before you become intimate. Love has a memory for each of you.Yours should be what you want it to be and act accordingly. You bothwill appreciate the beginning and not end if you respect each other while your Love is allowed to blossom.

Remember, this is an example ofmy frendsrelationship and they are taking it a step at a time. I think you may be moving to quickly and missing some of steps of your relationship. Pray about it. Listen to your heart. take time to listen to each other. Good luck. God Bless you.
 
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j2wishfull_lady is offline j2wishfull_lady Post #7  March 26,2008, 8:10pm
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magicflower, wrote :
I have been dating this man for 5 months, we are exclusive. I have even left the country on vacation with him. We see each other every Sat. nite romantically. He picks me up at my home with my 3 sons present. He has spent some time with them aswell. His family comes to town every Holiday I did not meet them the past 2 times because we were just starting to date,. I was suppose to meet them this Easter trip but he says "the schedule just isnt going to work out". ??? He also apologized for "not calling me the past couple of days since they have been here". ??? His family consists of: sister & husband & their 3 daughters & their boyfriends and his son & daughter bothcollege age. Is it too soon to meet? He hasn't even said "the love word" yet. ??? Should I be as hurt as I am?
I will try andgive you an example. A very dear friend of mine met a man recenty. He is divorced. He has children. She really likeshim a lot. He likes her to. They have gone out on dates before without his children. Her children are grown and not at home. They gone on trips but not overnight.

Se has wanted to meet his family. They first met before Christmas. It appears they have become good friends. He hasn't been quite ready to share his family as he is still not sure of what he wants of their relationship. This past week he invited her to church. His children were there and it seemed tobe a good time to meet them. This Friday she is invited to a very formal event. This seems to be very special for her and he is a little timid. They are both moving with positive steps and are being very honest about what of them want with this relationship. Five months for you could e a long time. It may not be for him.

I think all relationships move at different paces sometimes like an escalator. One is going up and the other is going down. You need to meet in themiddle and have some really good conversations about your expectations. I don't think you should get ahead of yourself. I do think you should really try to be friends before you become intimate. Love has a memory for each of you.Yours should be what you want it to be and act accordingly. You bothwill appreciate the beginning and not end if you respect each other while your Love is allowed to blossom.

Remember, this is an example ofmy frendsrelationship and they are taking it a step at a time. I think you may be moving to quickly and missing some of steps of your relationship. Pray about it. Listen to your heart. take time to listen to each other. Good luck. God Bless you.
 
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roni82 is offline roni82 Post #8  March 26,2008, 8:16pm
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Why not ask him? If you've been together five months and you feel like you are close enough that you should meet his family then you should also feel close enough to him to be able to ask him what's up.

Maybe the issue isn't you, maybe it's his family. And maybe it is you. Right now you're hurt because you're guessing, and you could be totally wrong. If there is a serious problem, better solving it now, or breaking it off than prolonging it.

Save yourself the headache and talk to him about it. In a nonconfrontational manner preferably. Good luck.
 
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breezybrie is offline breezybrie Post #9  March 26,2008, 8:39pm
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He's just not in to you...sorry...I've been there too. Better to know now and fine the "right" guy who is super motivated to go all the way with you.
 
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banany is offline banany Post #10  March 26,2008, 9:18pm
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Why don't you ask him? A simple discuss without guilt or negitive feelings could open up communication. He might not realize you are hurt, or there may be circumstances you aren't aware of.
 
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