Meeting without a phone call


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LoveSeahorses is offline LoveSeahorses Post #1  December 5,2008, 2:39pm
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Okay, so i'll be meeting face-to-face with a match from eHarmony, but we never exchanged numbers, therefore, have never spoken on the phone.


I feel neither one of us wants to talk on the phone unless we feel a 'click' in person.


Is this odd?
 
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Tantalus is offline Tantalus Post #2  December 5,2008, 6:26pm
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I'd say so. It's also dangerous. You have no idea who the person you've been e-mailing is. I've never been in a situation where a match would want to meet before even talking on the phone, but I would not only insist on a phone call, but a webcam call too. I want to be as certain as possible that the person I've been communicating with is the person I'm going to meet.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #3  December 5,2008, 6:41pm
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I have to disagree with tantalus ( for the first time ever--- you are hilarious man. )


You have nothing to worry about as long as you are comfortable with where you are meeting.


You should exchange numbers so that you'll have them in case one is late or lost.


Phone calls don't make it any safer.


Drive your own car for the first few dates.....even if you leave place one to go somewhere else. I would not tell him where you live or work for a while though.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  December 5,2008, 8:41pm
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Tantalus,370247 wrote :

I'd say so. It's also dangerous. You have no idea who the person you've been e-mailing is. I've never been in a situation where a match would want to meet before even talking on the phone, but I would not only insist on a phone call, but a webcam call too. I want to be as certain as possible that the person I've been communicating with is the person I'm going to meet.
You are paranoid.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  December 5,2008, 8:43pm
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bigfincat,370266 wrote :

I have to disagree with tantalus ( for the first time ever--- you are hilarious man. )


You have nothing to worry about as long as you are comfortable with where you are meeting.


You should exchange numbers so that you'll have them in case one is late or lost.


Phone calls don't make it any safer.


Drive your own car for the first few dates.....even if you leave place one to go somewhere else. I would not tell him where you live or work for a while though.

+1
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  December 5,2008, 8:46pm
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I have met most of my matches without talking on the phone first. I happen to hate the phone, particularly if I am the one that has to do the calling.


I do and would suggest that you exchange cell phone numbers so that you can get ahold of each other should there be a problem getting to the meeting place.
 
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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #7  December 6,2008, 8:54am
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I would need to speak to the person on the phone first prior to meeting. I think you can get some good info from a phone conversation, even a very brief one! Even if that info is not used to 'weed' the person out, it still could be useful information.


I'm not an obnoxiously loud person, but I'm also not quiet. Talking on the phone with me, anyone would get a pretty good idea of that rather quickly. If that wasn't some guys cup of tea - good for him being able to know that prior to being trapped at a table with me for coffee or a drink.


I spoke on the phone with a guy once, for maybe only about 15 minutes or so, and I *knew* I wouldn't be able to make it through a 1/2 hour meeting with him. The w a a y y y y smooth, street lingo style he had was just not workin' for me.


Phone-in' it before hand is a good idea. I'd highly recommend it.
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #8  December 6,2008, 12:12pm
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Gr8Guyn2008,370412 wrote :

I have met most of my matches without talking on the phone first. I happen to hate the phone, particularly if I am the one that has to do the calling.


I do and would suggest that you exchange cell phone numbers so that you can get ahold of each other should there be a problem getting to the meeting place.
I agree - I am intensely uncomfortable talking on the phone. I don't "present" well because of that.





I also agree with the cell phone suggestion, not only for touching base if you might miss the appointment, but as a means of feeling safer as well.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #9  December 6,2008, 12:42pm
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lucky173,370731 wrote :

I would need to speak to the person on the phone first prior to meeting. I think you can get some good info from a phone conversation, even a very brief one! Even if that info is not used to 'weed' the person out, it still could be useful information.


I'm not an obnoxiously loud person, but I'm also not quiet. Talking on the phone with me, anyone would get a pretty good idea of that rather quickly. If that wasn't some guys cup of tea - good for him being able to know that prior to being trapped at a table with me for coffee or a drink.


I spoke on the phone with a guy once, for maybe only about 15 minutes or so, and I *knew* I wouldn't be able to make it through a 1/2 hour meeting with him. The w a a y y y y smooth, street lingo style he had was just not workin' for me.


Phone-in' it before hand is a good idea. I'd highly recommend it.
You might consider doing dinner on a first meeting. Dinner has a clear ending to it & when it is done you can decide whether you want to go somewhere else that night, another night, or whether you want see that person in the future.Dinner is a cleaner exit.


Coffeeor drinks is also OK, butit could be more uncomfortable to end the date ubruptly. You may end up with a confrontation also if the guy feels rejected.


Just an idea to consider.
 
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LoveSeahorses is offline LoveSeahorses Post #10  December 9,2008, 3:52pm
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ok, so we decided to meet at a coffee shop, and it went well (i think).it was nerve-wrecking, but not scary at all. he turned out to be super nice.at the end of it all we hugged, but he didn't ask me for my number.i'm giving him a couple of days to contact me, if not, i'm closing it out.


thanks everyone foryour input!!
 
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