eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #11  November 20,2008, 12:06pm

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Hi PY,


We see your point about statistics. You are asking us to help instill a fool-proof sense of confidence in our members that eHarmony really does work.


Our goal is ALWAYS to generate hope for each and every member that s/he can find the right person, even if the process is tough. There are two ways we tend to do that -- through statistics and anecdotal stories of success.


We are constantly conducting research of eHarmony successes. As you can imagine, there are infinite statistical variations to explore (demographics of members, how long it took for them to find a partner, where their partner was located, what time of year they were matched and on and on). While we strive to explore as many of these combinations as possible, we aren't always going to have an answer for every scenario, and we aren't going to have answers right away. To verify and ensure the accuracy of our research results takes time, and of course it takes additional time to release the concrete facts.


The "pro" to statistical information is that it is objective and lets members know a history of success. An encouraging statistic which many have seen already is that 236 eHarmony members a day on average get married. No other online relationship/dating service can match (pardon the pun) that statistic.


What statistical information lacks is the personal element -- the additional factors and nuances that come into play in each individual's life situation. A statistic doesn't describe the different types of people or the circumstances that they were in when they found success.


That's why we refer members who are facing specific challenges or circumstances to Success Stories that they may relate to. For example, if you are in a rural area, you may check out our Long distance success stories:


http://www.eharmony.com/success/stories/long-distance


If you feel you don't fit the "mainstream" in one way or another, you can take a look at our Diversity page:


http://www.eharmony.com/diversity


Though we don’t have statistics of how many members met and married because of a Free Communication Weekend, we wanted to offer reasons why it is a good thing for all members – it creates more chances to get to know more matches. It is not a setback, it is an opportunity.


We are well aware that in the midst of searching for the right person, getting your hopes up, being disappointed can be frankly exhausting and at times even heartbreaking.


Our main reason for offering stories and statistics, as I mentioned above, is to provide a resource to help keep the hope alive. If so many other members have had success, you can too. Statistics or stories help, but ultimately, maintaining a positive outlook through the ups and downs will help you stick it out so that you can tell your inspiring story and be included in the encouraging statistics.


By the way, PY, I am very glad to hear that your luck has changed recently!


Sincerely,


Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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PY is offline PY Post #12  November 20,2008, 12:35pm

Sometimes...just be a bigger person and take the high road.

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Thanks Kate. Of course, nothing is fool-proof in this world...I DO understand that nobody can control attraction/chemistry. I just thought we'd like a bit of assurance or at least somewhat of abetter odds when we click that 'send questions' button of at least get some kind of response...but again, this is just my wishful thinking


Again- Yes, 236 got married on daily basis..but out of how many members/matches? This is my point from the beginning....let's just say even if 1000 people got married every day from EH, but if you have 100,000 people, or more around the world...that's 1%.


"Generate Hope" Yes, as noble as that is,in specific actions how is this being done?? A message from the mods (or even Dr.Neil himself) to be 'positive' once in a while is not enough to go against the reality of many closed matches we have to deal with sometimes on weekly basis. The mods can only be our cheering sections..that's about it...but us romantic hopefuls are the ones putting ourselves out there, being vulnerable all the time. For some of us who may not have attractiveness oozing out of our ears, it is even harder.


LOL yes, luck has changed..although I spoke too soon. I should've said it more specifically...luck has changed meaning at least I've talked to some real people within the past two weeks and gone out with one...but in the bigger scheme of things...still about the same...Ms. The One still out there somewhere and now I'm down to one new match due to my recent closings...


Dinner, coffee and movie was great though while it lasted


 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #13  November 20,2008, 1:21pm
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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Coca-Cola,350707 wrote :

A new kind of eHarmony member is emerging: *The Free Weekender.* Watch out, he might be the love of your life!
Don't know why not. It is quite easy to get through Guided Communication in an hour and move to private communications.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #14  November 20,2008, 1:26pm
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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BSLS,350959 wrote :

...


We can either dumpster dive or go curb shopping!"

Uh, there is something wrong with getting something for free?


All my computers and TV came from someones curb. Of course I have the talent to repair such things. It is called recycling and being green. I have gotten something that is useful to me for free and kept it from winding up in the landfill.
 
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mostlysunny is offline mostlysunny Post #15  November 21,2008, 2:53pm
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My subscription recently ended and I have been a but put out with eH so I didn't resubscribe. I got the e-mail about it being a free comm weekend, so I hopped on to see if there was anyone worth communicating with. But in doing so I just discovered that while I can now answer others' questions, I am not allowed to send questions or initiate communication unless I re-subscribe.


What's the deal? Only newbies can utilize free weekends?
 
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mostlysunny is offline mostlysunny Post #16  November 21,2008, 2:55pm
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that was supposed to say a *bit* put out. Not a *but* put out.
 
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Aussie_Devilette is offline Aussie_Devilette Post #17  November 21,2008, 4:51pm
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is sad the weekend is over - back to workday grind for me

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Kate, I don't get any matches anyway, so I don't think the free weekend will help. I even upped my age range to 60 and ticked "Other" as an ethnicity option as you suggested; NOT ONE extra match - so I don't think the free weekend is going to help much, given I am depedent on eH's matching system and can't look at profiles myselff.
 
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T_Will is offline T_Will Post #18  November 21,2008, 6:27pm
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I got to the point of sending the 3 essay questions to one of my matches. In her profile she mentioned that she wasn't going to continue her membership on a certain date, so I requested FastTrack, but she didn't respond to the FastTrack request before the date she planned to close the account, so I haven't heard from her since.





Now that it's free communication weekend, I know the free weekenders can't request/accept FastTrack, but would she be able to go back and answer the 3 essay questions I had sent, without having to pay? Does requesting the FastTrack prevent her from answering the 3 questions? Could she deny the FastTrack, then answer the questions?





Thanks.
 
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KarlJay is offline KarlJay Post #19  November 21,2008, 11:08pm
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I've just went into my page and had some 46 matches, it said I had to close some to get new matches. I looked at the ones that had closed me, I closed them, but they are still there. How do I remove these?


Comment on this free weekend: It looks like I won't be able to get anything from it. I can't talk to these people, I can only send 5 pre-made questions, then wait for a reply. It looks like this could take a while. Even if they answer the very next day, I still have to go thru several of these sessions in order to get to some point of real communitions.


Kinda hard to see if the eH thing will work for me or not when I'll probably only get a few responses before the 'free weekend' is over.
 
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glassonlyhalffull_fillit is offline glassonlyhalffull_fillit Post #20  November 22,2008, 5:43am
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mostlysunny,353179 wrote :

My subscription recently ended and I have been a but put out with eH so I didn't resubscribe. I got the e-mail about it being a free comm weekend, so I hopped on to see if there was anyone worth communicating with. But in doing so I just discovered that while I can now answer others' questions, I am not allowed to send questions or initiate communication unless I re-subscribe.


What's the deal? Only newbies can utilize free weekends?
Same deal for me here.......sent a fast tract and was taken to the 'subscribe now!" wt........
 
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