artist52 is offline artist52 Post #1  December 6,2011, 1:16pm
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After just over a year on eHarmony, I met a really wonderful guy through the site. We've been dating for four months and are in the process of meeting one another's children (grown) and families, not an easy task considering the number of people that involves. So far, it's been incredible on so many different levels.

And we're both over 50. I can't say I ever expected to meet anyone this special at this point in my life. Seems to me I've read enough research reports that say that after 40 (or is it 30?) the pool of eligible men dwindles to almost nothing. I certainly have plenty of single friends who can't seem to find anyone special, online or off.

I already knew that eHarmony worked for some people (my daughter and her fiancee, for instance), but didn't honestly believe it would do the same for me. I'm happy to say I was wrong.

I had plenty of first dates, a few second and third. Almost everyone I met was a nice, genuine person. Ok, there were one or two characters, but not many. Frankly, the matches I received were, on many levels, well matched to me. But there was no one I really "clicked" with until I met my guy.


We didn't spend much time emailing each other. I'd found through trial and error that if I spent too much time emailing a person I'd lose the momentum to actually meet them in person. When we met there was an instant attraction between us, and that attraction has just grown and deepened exponentially. He gives me butterflies and brings me flowers. I am, for maybe the first time ever, able to be completely myself in the relationship, no need for pretense of any kind. Some of that has to do with life experience and learning who I am, something I didn't know when I married in my twenties. But I think to a greater degree, it has to do with the emotional connectedness that we have.

I don't know if he's my "soul mate" or not, but he's about as close as I've ever come to that elusive idea.



So just a note to those who think they're too old, or who are just nervous about this whole online dating experience. It's not as scary as it might seem. eHarmony has some good tools built it to make it a little less daunting. Give people a chance and be true to yourself. You just never know who might be out there!
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  December 6,2011, 2:22pm
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What a nice post! Thank you. (I'm 57)

All the best to you!
 
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artist52 is offline artist52 Post #3  December 6,2011, 2:23pm
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Sassafras54 wrote :
What a nice post! Thank you. (I'm 57)

All the best to you!
Thanks! It's good to know that there is life out there for the over 50 crowd, isn't it? I hardly feel my age and am not sure when I got here. My mind thinks I'm still in my late thirties!
 
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boomer_gal is online now boomer_gal Post #4  December 6,2011, 10:53pm
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It's great to hear about your success. I hope that I might have some results like yours. But after just over a year participating in on line dating sites, I have been on more than just a couple of dates with only 3 men. Two poofed & one turned out to still be married. It is very discouraging, so it is nice to hear that you were able to meet someone.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  December 7,2011, 9:05am
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congrats and enjoy
 
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Work_in_Progress is offline Work_in_Progress Post #6  December 7,2011, 3:52pm
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This post comes at a good time for me (also over 50), so thanks for sharing it. I still hope to find someone, but am not trying - just staying busy expanding my life in a variety of other ways, reminding myself that someone could walk into my life tomorrow, but not always quite believing it.

It won't happen on E-harmony for me, as my location isn't good for more than a match - yes, that's 1 - maybe once a week, often less frequently, but I'm glad it happened for you and wish you the best.
 
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LongLocks is offline LongLocks Post #7  December 8,2011, 3:17am
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I'm so happy for you!

Thanks for sharing. It gives us other 50+ daters hope.
 
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Diann1950 is online now Diann1950 Post #8  December 14,2011, 8:57am
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Work_in_Progress wrote :
This post comes at a good time for me (also over 50), so thanks for sharing it. I still hope to find someone, but am not trying - just staying busy expanding my life in a variety of other ways, reminding myself that someone could walk into my life tomorrow, but not always quite believing it.

It won't happen on E-harmony for me, as my location isn't good for more than a match - yes, that's 1 - maybe once a week, often less frequently, but I'm glad it happened for you and wish you the best.
Location is a problem, I know I live in the middle of KS in a very small town, but was matched with a guy 26 miles away. That may sound like a long way but out here that is next door. We wouldn't have met in the normal course of events even though we shopped in the same town. As you can see from my profile it worked, so don't give up.
 
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artist52 is offline artist52 Post #9  December 14,2011, 9:14am
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Diann1950 wrote :
Location is a problem, I know I live in the middle of KS in a very small town, but was matched with a guy 26 miles away. That may sound like a long way but out here that is next door. We wouldn't have met in the normal course of events even though we shopped in the same town. As you can see from my profile it worked, so don't give up.
Hooray! Actually, even though I'm in a major metropolitan area, things are pretty spread out here. My guy lives almost 20 miles away from me, in a neighboring city. That's freeway close, here. We never would have met in the normal course of things either. We both work in similar industries, but our orbits don't cross.

Frankly, I didn't get many matches who lived very close to me at all. At one point, I even met a guy who lived 2 hours away just because he seemed like a nice guy. And he was. But I just couldn't see how the distance would work-or maybe I just didn't like him that much.

I agree, don't give up!
 
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artist52 is offline artist52 Post #10  December 14,2011, 9:16am
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Work_in_Progress wrote :
This post comes at a good time for me (also over 50), so thanks for sharing it. I still hope to find someone, but am not trying - just staying busy expanding my life in a variety of other ways, reminding myself that someone could walk into my life tomorrow, but not always quite believing it.

It won't happen on E-harmony for me, as my location isn't good for more than a match - yes, that's 1 - maybe once a week, often less frequently, but I'm glad it happened for you and wish you the best.
My matches were about that frequent too. Sometimes went weeks with no matches at all. I don't know if it has to do with location, eHarmony's algorithms, or the number of people who join at any given time, but I do know that the number of quality men I met far exceeded other "shopping" types of sites.

Great to stay busy and expand your life in other ways, and you never know when you might meet someone special.
 
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