not a success story, but more of a tragedy..


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latinluvah24 is offline latinluvah24 Post #1  February 24,2010, 11:25pm
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So I have been a member of eharmony for over a year and I am not an ugly guy, or at least so I have been told... But I am wondering what the hell I am doing wrong!! I have had absolutely no success on this site and have cancelled my account for the second time and am really considering not returning this time. I have been told two different things in regards to doing the online dating site. One is that I should try to be as descriptive as possible and the other has been to be short and to the point because girls get bored reading paragraphs. I am that nice guy that is good looking and yet girls never seem to want to give me a chance so maybe they are not seeing me for the guy that I really am. Honestly at this point I am open to any suggestions so ladies please enlighten me.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  February 25,2010, 8:30am
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LL, We all get frustrated sometimes with e-dating from time to time. I can understand where you're coming from.

There are alot of things that can make the e-dating journey a tough one. Let's start with your profile.

What type of photos do you have posted? Here is a good article related to photos Online Dating 101: Photos

There is also the Profile worskshops for each of the questions.
(eHarmony Profile Workshop Threads (Links listed here))eHarmony Profile Workshop Threads (Links listed here

Many people have asked the community to provide feedback on their profile. There maybe be some cliche's or profile pet peeves that you're unaware of, that could possibly be turning-off your matches. If you would like the community to review your profile.. You can post it over in the using E-Harmony forum..

Good luck and welcome to the boards.






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Last edited by TrekRyder10; February 25,2010 at 12:25pm.
 
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heartinspacexo is offline heartinspacexo Post #3  February 26,2010, 6:31pm
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I like when a guy has put thought into his profile. Be very descriptive, those profiles make me say "oh me too!" You said, "girls get bored reading paragraphs" anyone who doesn't want to take the time to read about their matches isn't serious about this site. Try to convey yourself as best you can in your profile, say what you want not what you think women want to hear.
 
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gardenia1108 is offline gardenia1108 Post #4  February 28,2010, 9:43am
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For me, personally, I LOVE when a man has put thought into his answers and much prefer when there is much to read vs. not. If a profile is skimpy on words, it doesn't allow me to get to know that person or make an impression. Also, several photos are important, rather than one.

Just some advice from a woman and what captures my attention...good luck!
 
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lemongrass is offline lemongrass Post #5  March 3,2010, 1:04am
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humm
1. picture should be with warm smile, one clear one is quite enough; no need different angles..
2. describe as detail as you can, like what activities you like, what is your work, what kind of gal you are looking for ....
3. point form -- personal preference
4. dont be too void, i meant some ppl said 'active' so what is 'active', romantic, how romantic you are or what will u do ...etc...
my 2 cents
or you can post it here, then we can discuss
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #6  March 5,2010, 3:04pm

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Dear latinluvah24,

Though posting your topic on the Using eHarmony thread may have meant more responses, the responses you did get were great and offered some good suggestions and feedback! I agree that the more detail the better when answering your About Me page questions, and I hope that you will take TrekRyder10's advice and visit the links he provided!

Along with making sure your profile is working as well as it can for you, the more matches you receive, the better your chances of finding that Special Match. So, I encourage you to take a look at the following articles. I wrote them to help members set their Match Preferences so they best support their success:

eHarmony and the Art of Match Settings: Personal Preferences
eHarmony and the Art of Match Settings: Distance

You know, some members have been successfully matched after returning to eHarmony after taking a break. So I hope the suggestions and feedback you received will encourage you to try our site again, and, if they do, that you'll let us know how things go!

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Renee; March 5,2010 at 4:13pm.
 
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Leturspiritshine is offline Leturspiritshine Post #7  March 5,2010, 11:54pm
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I can totally relate and am on a half hearted "break" from eharmony dating as we speak. Sometimes it helps to remember that there are women out there going through the same thing. If you give up then you definately won't meet her on eharmony but if you give it some more time you might meet her online. In the meantime maybe take up a hobby or join a meetup group in your area. This is going to be my new approach and I am hoping that by using several different means to meet someone that one of them will pan out. Statisitically the more options you keep open the better right? So maybe eharmony is just one more option. Hope that helps.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #8  March 6,2010, 2:04pm

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Hi Everyone,

I am sorry that your eHarmony search hasn't been successful to date, Leturspiritshine, but your great advice and words of encouragement to latinluvah24 and other members who may also relate to his eHarmony experience are greatly appreciated.

When you are looking for the Love of your Life, it's best to do so with a positive attitude; so I agree that sometimes taking a break from eHarmony is the best thing to do until you feel you can continue your search with a hopeful heart!

During such a break, enriching your life or exploring different means to find your Soul Mate are also great suggestions. They may be just the thing to help someone resume their eHarmony search with a positive attitude. But, in the meantime, as a result of your eHarmony experience, hopefully a search by other means will be enhanced by something you learned about yourself or about your Perfect Partner!

Indeed, the more options you have, the greater your chances of finding The One, and, because of our rigorous matching system, eHarmony is a great option! When you meet someone on our site, you know that the two of you have the foundation for a happy, long- term relationship.

I really feel the suggestions and advice given on this thread can help any member thinking about resuming their eHarmony search to do so, not only in a positive, but in an effective way!

So thanks to everyone who has already posted to this thread, and I look forward to reading other members' experiences and advice.

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Renee; March 6,2010 at 2:06pm.
 
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zed91254 is offline zed91254 Post #9  March 9,2010, 8:42am
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I have to agree with latinluvah. I have been on this site for three years, active as a subscriber off and on approximately 2-3 months at a time (remember this is at $49.95 per month in these horrible economic times) and I have had not a single response from any of the women I have contacted, they don't even respond to the stupid questions that are sent.

I have a decent profile, I explain myself quite clearly. I have pictures up, recent pictures, and I am not bad looking--I mean I don't exactly look like 20 miles of bad road or anything. I realize I'm not Adonis, but I'm not a toad either. Still nothing. I'm intelligent, a college professor who doesn't look or sound like a stuffed shirt stereotype of same. I've been told I'm friendly, funny, approachable, kind, sensitive. And I've also been told I am "too nice". How in the world can someone be "too nice"?

These commercials for this site that are on the tube have a touch of "actors impersonating 'true stories', amalgamations of actual people", so how is the average person supposed to know that the information is true? Isn't there a truth in advertising law or something?

The more I deal with this site the more it strikes me as a total scam. I've asked for help from the "professional dating advisors" here and the advice, when it has come, has been as helpful as shoes on a cow. I even had to create a new and separate account from my dating account just to post this. Of course this was free, but advice is free. And you get what you pay for.

And it's not just here. I've tried my luck on Match, Chemistry, SeniorPeople, Plenty of Fish (a free site!), DateHookup (another free site!), SinglesNet, and several other sites. Runs into a tidy bit of cash that I am out for the past 3 years (coming up on 4), with NOTHING to show for it.

I know you can't force anyone to answer e-mails, requests, or flirts. But doesn't this demonstrate the lack of manners that seems to be omnipresent in our society now? For myself, when a subscriber, I am careful and considerate enough to at least acknowledge receiving a message, so why is it that no one else can be bothered to do so with me? And yet your commercials show these happy peppy people. What percentage of your customer base do these people (assuming they are NOT actors) represent? And what is the percentage of UNsuccessful stories? We never see those, do we? Why can't you guys be truthful about this?
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #10  March 9,2010, 4:09pm

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Dear zed91254,

I regret that you haven't been successful on eHarmony or on a variety of other sites you have joined. While I can't speak to those other sites, I want to asssure you that the members on our TV ads are ALL actual eHarmony members.

http://www.eharmony.com/success/tv

Also, I regret that, because you haven't been successfully matched, you believe our site is a scam. While our goal is to help every eHarmony member find their soul mate, we are unable to and do not make any guarantees as to a member's success.

However, we do provide members several ways to get support and feedback when needed. One of which is eHarmony Advice. You mentioned that you requested help here on our Advice site, but since this is your first post to our site, I am not sure what you are referring to. Of course, you are now encouraged to reach out for support.

You mentioned that you believe your About Me page is decent and that you have posted recent pictures. But what you want is a dynamic, effective about Me Page and there are photos and there are photos. So why not create a thread on the Using eHarmony forum and share your profile and photos so you can get feedback from actual eHarmony members?

Also, I recently wrote two articles about creating a dynamic, effective About Me page, and one of the tips is to have someone else, especially a member of the opposite sex take a look at your About Me page. I encourage you to take a look:

Dating Tips, Online Profile
Dating Tips creating an effective online dating profile

To help you post the best photos possible, I encourage you to take a look at this Advice article written especially for guys:

Online Profile Photo Tips for Guys

If you are still using eHarmony or are thinking about resuming your search in the future, I hope you will follow some or all of the suggestions made on this thread, especially asking for specific feedback regarding your About Me page and photos. Please let us know if you do, and how it goes.

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Renee; March 9,2010 at 4:16pm.
 
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