not a success story, but more of a tragedy..


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zephyr1973 is offline zephyr1973 Post #31  January 28,2011, 9:37am
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I'm getting the very sad feeling that a lot of things have changed besides the addition of this site (eHA) since I used eHarmony in 2004.

I rarely had difficulty in receiving communication from matches. Most of my matches had pictures and I would say the majority of them were very attractive. I reached "open communication" with several and went on dates with a few of them. What has happened??? Either I had a very unique experience, or things have rapidly deteriorated, according to the variety of posts I continuously read on this and similar issues.

I met the love of my life on this site, so I could and would never fault it - I was even matched with an ex-boyfriend who was still a close friend (we had a great laugh over it!) and I met one of my now-best friends through eHarmony (was a match that made a much better friend - even came to our wedding!).

I'm sad that some of you are not having any luck in terms of finding that special someone. When I met my husband, I was nearing the end of my 6 mos, and I had just returned from a "time-out" on eHarmony due to dating a guy a met on another site. I honestly felt happy with my service on eHarmony prior to having met my husband, simply because I had learned so much about myself due to the process. I am so happy I met my husband in those last days, but I wouldn't be angry if I had not - I never expected a guarantee.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #32  January 29,2011, 4:43pm

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Hi zephyr1973,

First of all, I am really happy that you decided to return to eHarmony and that you and your husband meet through our site. If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been married?

Like everything else, there will always be changes, but I really feel that one's attitude really makes a big difference in the experience a member will have. While our goals is that each and every member finds their special someone (and more and more members are being succesfully matched every year), we can't guarantee any one member's success.

But perhaps because of this ever-growing success rate, many members seem to come to our site feeling that doing so guarantees their success and that they will meet that special match quickly and without having to deal with the challenges inherent to any such search.

As you mentioned, you were on the site for 6 months before you and your husband were matched. And I can't help but think that your attitude was what allowed you to be open to the possibility of meeting your special match all the way to the very end of that subscription term. If you hadn't had that attitude, you may have shut down and missed the opportunity to meet your husband!

I don't want members to think that I don't understand how challenging it can sometimes bet to remain positive, but that's why we provide support through our Customer Care team, our Advice site, and our Facebook page.

Of course, sometimes it can help to commiserate with other members who share similar concerns or experiences, but I really think the better path to success is to have realistic expectation about our service, to do all you can to support your success by creating a dynamic profile and communicating with the majority of your matches, and to learn from and get inspiration from successful members.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope it will encourage others to adopt a similar attitude and to be open to the possibilitiy of having a successful experience througout the entire length of their eHarmony search.

I wish you and your husband may years of happiness.

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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