eHarmony Success Story - GONE WRONG!


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funman67 is offline funman67 Post #41  February 13,2010, 6:59pm
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gr8galmv wrote :
I don't believe eHarmony ensures a good outcome. And you're soooo right and spot on in your advice to take time to really get to know someone. I don't know why but I've found a good number of folks who meet through the eHarmony system seem to rush to the engagement after just a few months of meeting. I have no idea how people can say that they really know someone much less love someone without having weathered a few storms and a year or so worth of dating. Sorry to hear about your outcome.
What, does gr8galmv work for EH also?
How many other, don't worry/you'll get over it replies are from EH staff?
 
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Lovingvirtuously is offline Lovingvirtuously Post #42  February 21,2010, 7:26pm
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I didn't join EH thinking that I would be ensured to meet someone with whom we would have a successful outcome. I expect to meet men with whom I am highly compatible and could potentially build a fulfilling relationship with. This site has wider potentials than my local area and it helps narrow down my search....Still there is much discovering that must be done after meeting a potential.....
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #43  August 11,2010, 11:59pm
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funman67 wrote :
What, does gr8galmv work for EH also?
How many other, don't worry/you'll get over it replies are from EH staff?
No, there are many people who have been on here for a while, and some have had good luck and bad luck. There are no guarantees doing anything online, or even for that matter in real life. We just need to learn from our mistakes, and hope that the real mackoy will come along. I initially joined eH, just for the heck of it. Had no preconceived ideas that I would ever meet anyone who was half decent. And I met my fair share of frogs, was just about to log off for life and then someone interesting came into my life and we started our journey of a lot of laughs, meetings and sharing. It just happens. If it still doesn't end up happening, I will just be glad that we met.
 
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inHisHand is offline inHisHand Post #44  August 12,2010, 1:10pm
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Help me out here. I have read the thread and am wondering if a couple really needs to give it one to TWO years?
 
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bwit is offline bwit Post #45  August 15,2010, 1:50pm
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inHisHand wrote :
Help me out here. I have read the thread and am wondering if a couple really needs to give it one to TWO years?
Dr. Warren has an excellent book explaining his theory behind his company's 40 years of relationship research. You'll learn what is behind eH's compatibility model and so many things about finding the right person for you, some you may know and most you had no clue about. If you are here it's a must read, Date or Soul Mate. Even available at Amazon, used.

To answer your question and to paraphrase him, everyone is on their best behavior at the beginning, after six months you have an idea of what you are getting and it is not until a year or so that you MAY know what that person is truly like. My experience is THAT and if they are hiding something, which some are and you never know who it is, you may not even know them fully then. This assumes you are paying very close attention to what and why certain things in the relationship occur.


It is not easy but the rewards are great and all the work is an investment in your happy future.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #46  August 17,2010, 3:07pm

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Hi bwit and Everyone!

It's great to hear bwit, that you've read "Date or Soul Mate" and that your recommending it to other Advice members as a must read. Whether you're an eHarmony member or not, I also highly recommend it to anyone wanting to find a wonderful partner to share the rest of their life with!

For anyone who isn't sold on buying their own copy, your local library may also carry a copy.

Along with the reasons bwit shared, Dr. Warren recommends couples spend 2 years together before marrying because it also allows you to experience a variety of life's ups and downs together.

Someone may be just wonderful when things are going smoothly but what happens when they aren't. Having a chance to see how your potential partner handles the stresses and strains of life is really important in determing if this person will be a good life partner for you.

Spending time with someone you feel may be your soul mate helps lay the foundation for a lifetime of happiness, and I'm sure Dr. Warren would second bwit's feeling that the investment of time, in the long run, will be well worth it.

All the best,

-Renee
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TeamBlue is offline TeamBlue Post #47  August 17,2010, 3:35pm
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Seek and you will find.
 
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Jesisi is offline Jesisi Post #48  December 24,2010, 9:28am
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So sorry you went through this experience! Sadly, there are many people out there who don't consider marriage to be the serious responsible thing that it is supposed to be. I agree with many people above who have stated that you can only tell with time. I am in what I consider to be a wonderful relationship. I keep waiting for the moment when we may have a bad day, and see how we deal with it, before I decide to move into considering marriage. I am having a great time being in a relationship and getting to know him right now... so I can wait another year to consider making things official... Don't give up!! Chances are that married or not she would have done the same thing... Be more cautious next time and best of luck!!!
 
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Jesisi is offline Jesisi Post #49  December 24,2010, 9:35am
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inHisHand wrote :
Help me out here. I have read the thread and am wondering if a couple really needs to give it one to TWO years?
It may seem like a long time, but so is "as long as you both shall live". Compared to that promise, two years is no skin off one's back... at least that way you can plan a beautiful wedding!! One year until you know each other well enough: good days, bad days, terrible work days, bad hair days, sick days, happy days, PMSy days, buddies, friends, family, the perverted uncle, the cranky aunt, fender bender day, ticket day, career change, raise, unemployment?, shopping/spending habits, favorite foods, cleanliness (apartment and personal), requirements for happiness, favorite movies, did you get the birthday present right?, snoring or not snoring? drinking? smoking? what you can tolerate, what you cannot tolerate, does he leave the toilet seat up? how often do you fall in the toilet when he does?

After you have decided all is good and you can live with him and be good with his family ... Engagement!

Then six months to plan the wedding! I guess that should take about a year or two... don't you?! Especially if it is not a questionnaire but day to day observations that you have made.
 
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StPaulGirl is offline StPaulGirl Post #50  December 24,2010, 9:59am
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Jesisi wrote :
...until you know each other well enough: good days, bad days, terrible work days, bad hair days, sick days, happy days, PMSy days, buddies, friends, family, the perverted uncle, the cranky aunt, fender bender day, ticket day, career change, raise, unemployment?, shopping/spending habits, favorite foods, cleanliness (apartment and personal), requirements for happiness, favorite movies, did you get the birthday present right?, snoring or not snoring? drinking? smoking? what you can tolerate, what you cannot tolerate, does he leave the toilet seat up? how often do you fall in the toilet when he does?
Is it truly necessary to know every little thing about a person before you can make a commitment to them? I don't believe that it is. Maintaining a relationship takes work, and part of that work is dealing with things as you learn them about your partner.
 
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