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Cathy61 Cathy61 is offline
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My very first match was interesting to me, but I did not pursue it until three months later. I went on a lot of dates, and kept thinking about the first man I had been matched with.

One day I contacted him. He requested fasttrack and we started calling each other. After a week or so, I agreed to meet for coffee. He asked if I would spend the rest of the day with him. We ended up in his bed and I did not get home until the next morning. We have been seeing each other now for just two weeks and each time is better than the last.

I think eHarmony hit it right on the head with our match. We are so much alike, there is so much physical attraction and he is exactly what I have dreamed about. I would say to anyone, trust your instincts. Does his picture turn you on? Does his profile turn you on? How far away are you? In our case it is just a few blocks, but we might never would have met because we do not travel in the same circles. I felt very attracted to him before we met and I was not disappointed. But I went for coffee and knew I could get out of there quickly if I did not like him.

Don't just date to be dating. Meet with people that match your dreams and treat them with honesty and compassion. I never left a date without letting the person know whether he had a chance. I never got an email that I did not respond to. I paid for my own meals and did the traveling most of the time. I did not want to give out my address too quickly. I did not want to be unfair or give false hope.

I was willing to never meet the right person if that was what God had planned for me. If I get a call tomorrow and my sweetheart tells me that he does not want to continue, I am fine with that. I only want what is best for both of us. I will be grateful for what I had and know that there are plenty of other men that I can enjoy my life with and help them to enjoy theirs.
- September 25th, 2009, 09:13 am
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Spider Spider is offline
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Spider is not ready to shovel the white stuff

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Within a few days? Hah... I didn't get any matches at all for about 7 weeks! I had to relax my standards and then was getting two-five a week after that.

Quite frankly, about half of my matches were totally unappealing. Of the ones that I considered "okay" to "very interesting", only one contacted me, and he turned out to just want a travel/sex partner who would dedicate her time exclusively to him. I didn't waste the time meeting him in person.

After six months, I finally had a response from one match, and we communicated well enough to meet, and then to date for a couple of months. We're still together eighteen months later, and while I am grateful to have met him, I really think that it was just a matter of luck and the geographic parameters, not scientific matching. If it were really scientific, there should have been more commonalities among my matches.

It's a matter of being exposed to enough people and just hitting it off with one. The service works well for people like me, in rural areas with a small-to-nonexistent dating pool, but it does take patience (and money!). I think anyone can meet a good match if they have those two in adequate supply.
- October 10th, 2009, 07:07 pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline
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Hi Spider,

Yes, your experience is more the norm. While some members are successfully matched a few days or weeks after being on eHarmony, most successful members dedicated 3 to 6 months to their search before finding that special match. And, while you are right that luck is involved to some extent in finding that special match -- the two of you need to be on the eHarmony simultaneously; right? -- I regret to hear you feel there is no scientific basis to our matching system because you felt your matches lacked some commonality.

Please keep in mind that we match members based on those internal qualities proven to be the basis of long-lasting, successful relationships. So, while all a member's matches may be similar with regard to those important internal qualities, there are MANY other qualities they will or won't possess that can make them seem dissimilar. However, at their core, each match has the potential to be The One if they also have all the other qualities a member requires in a partner. And it is a member's part of our partnership to communicate with matches to discover if they have those additional qualities.

However, sometimes a lack of communication will also have members questioning our matching system. Even with a truly terrific About Me page and photos which really showcase their personality/lifestyle, a member may still not have many matches respond to communication requests. When this happens, it simply means that those non-responsive matches weren't The One. One of the ways your special match will identify himself is that he will communicate with you -- which he clearly did!

Spider, thank you for sharing your experience, and I wish the two of you all the best. I hope, in time, as your relationship develops, you will discover the value of our matching system, become convinced that the two of you were matched in a deep, internal, and "scientific" way, and that your investment in time and money were well worth it!

Sincerely,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host
Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Renee; October 13th, 2009 at 10:00 am.
- October 13th, 2009, 09:58 am
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mrflyer mrflyer is offline
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I have a friend who met his now-wife on eh the first month he was a member. It was a few years ago, so he doesn't seem to remember much else about the site, as far as giving me advice.

I think in their case it was just a matter of luck that they were both members at the same time. I don't know how long she had been a member when they met.
- December 4th, 2009, 01:48 pm
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kjaere kjaere is offline
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I, too, had joined EH a year or so ago with no success, but joined again on a whim. I figure it's hard to steer a boat, if you're not rowing, so why not? In my first 2 weeks I met a great fellow, and are just now starting OC. Don't know what will happen, but at the very least, it has given me hope that there are great guys out there....still.
- December 4th, 2009, 02:05 pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline
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Hi mrflyer: Congratulations to your friend and his wife! Yes, luck does play a role in finding that special someone. Like you said both members have to be on eHarmony simultaneously. While it's great that your friend only had to devote 1 month to his search, most successful members had to be willing to search longer in order to be lucky!

Hi kjaere: So glad that you decided to give our site another try. Many successful members found that special match after taking a break and returning to our site! Yes, there are still a lot of wonderful people out there looking for that special someone.

I hope things continue to go well with your match and would certainly love to hear of any future plans to meet in person.

All the best,
-Renee
- December 4th, 2009, 07:33 pm
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LucyLucy LucyLucy is offline
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My boyfriend was in my first group of matches. He was the second person I dated from this site, and we have been together ever since that first date. It will be one year in a little over a week!! He has taken me and my children to his home state to meet his family, and we are going to Florida together over Spring Break. Typical? Probably not, but we are both SO happy!!
- January 6th, 2010, 07:05 pm
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Cathy61 Cathy61 is offline
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LucyLucy wrote :
My boyfriend was in my first group of matches. He was the second person I dated from this site, and we have been together ever since that first date. It will be one year in a little over a week!! He has taken me and my children to his home state to meet his family, and we are going to Florida together over Spring Break. Typical? Probably not, but we are both SO happy!!

My experience was not typical either, but eHarmony did a great job of finding my match the first week I joined. We are still very much in love and I am so very happy. I had no luck at all on the other dating sites.
- January 6th, 2010, 08:11 pm
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vzugaj vzugaj is offline
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You know honestly I am not sure what I would do if I got matched with either an active subscriber, one that lived in my state or a real one let alone finding the "one". You know I guess some people just get lucky and the rest of us not so lucky. Thank goodness I don't need a man lol. Would be nice to have one though.
- January 25th, 2010, 04:59 pm
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PY_2 PY_2 is online now
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PY_2 facebook suggested I reconnected with.....my long lost gf....*sigh*

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vzugaj wrote :
Thank goodness I don't need a man lol..
Hey nice to meet you too!!
- January 26th, 2010, 12:34 pm
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