This discussion is now closed. Thanks to everyone for their participation.




Ask a Success Couple Anything: Shonna and Dan
They met in August of 2005 on eHarmony and celebrated their first wedding anniversary in May. Meet Shonna and Dan, an eHarmony Success Couple. Have questions about online dating, falling in love and the eHarmony process? Post your queries to this discussion thread and Shonna and Dan will get back to you!

Hi ipower,


Thanks for posting. An inquisitive nature is also a "must have" for me, and although women are generally more verbal than men, I've had similar problems with women who were very reserved. For some, it just took time for them to feel comfortable; for others, I got the impression that they wanted me to give chase and therefore expected me to be the one asking the questions etc.


One thing I've noticed is that not all communication styles are equal - some people feel comfortable with email (my wife Shonna, for example, filled her profile out with paragraphs of information, and sent me long detailed emails when we started open communication, but was on the shy side when we met in person for the first time), others are better at phone conversation, and still others prefer face time. It may be that some of the people you have matched with simply aren't great at online interaction.


Another possibility is that, particularly with eHarmony, a lot of people tire after taking a 30 minute personality test, so they just don't invest enough time into the profile.


Of course, the only way to get to know whether someone will ultimately meet your expectations in terms of communication is to invest the time to get to know them. Unfortunately, there is no short cut to this, but I do think you are halfway there by understanding that this is a "must have" for you (and if you haven't done so yet, you should list this in your profile so your matches know what you expect).


Lastly, I would say, don't lose hope - most of my friends (both male and female) are the active, inquisitive type, so even though it's less common in men, it's not as rare as people may think.


Good luck!


Dan


P.S. Regarding the picture, I would suggest that one of your first open questions be to ask why they haven't posted a picture. It's a fair question and the least that someone can do given the level of trust needed for online interaction.