Nice Guys Finish Last!!!!

Wow...the crap just keeps on coming. Life is what you make of it. We all have bad things happen to us, it's just a matter of how you deal with them. So a stupid girl left you as a teenager for some jerk...let it go. Your argument is the same one used by rapists and murderers, boo-hoo, I had a bad childhood. You make your own breaks in life, being jealous of what others have will always leave you unsatisfied. And if you always expect the worst, that's what you'll find.

Nice guys generally are too afraid to reachout and get what you want b/c of the cycle of fear of rejection. In the meantime you force us nice girls to date losers or not date at alluntil you wake up and do something about it. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself just go for what you want, statistically your more likely to get it that way.

Why can't nice girls reach out and get what they want?

Tell that crap to a Texas Hold 'em player who had "the sure thing" only to end up with a bad beat on the River and is out of the tournament because of it.


First off, you do not make your own breaks in life. I did not ask for half the crap that has happened to me, including but not limited to:

Being hit from behind at 60 mph on a bicycle by a guy who was trying to impress girls and was not paying attention to the road.


Having two brothers abscond from the state after racking up huge amounts of phone and online bills.


Busting my butt for over a decade to get a degree in spite of multiple setbacks, and finding out my mother had breast cancer nine days after I graduated from college and having to take care of her because I was the only one not married.


Going job hunting for 22 months straight and hearing the same lame excuses for not hiring me, even putting forth my best game face and acting "professional".


If you want to talk romantic disaster: I could give you several other examples, more recent than the dumb girl who got abandoned.


I dated a girl for two and a half years who openly told me she didn't love me after going out with me at least 40 times.


I had a girl that was supposed to meet me for my birthday, and three weeks beforehand, met up with another guy and told me to go pound sand.


Justa year and a half ago,I had a girl that I was talking to that got a job with the airlines and had to stay in China because of it.


You can control your life to a certain degree but a lot of it is just plain BAD LUCK and you cannot control that, and "taking it in stride" gets MUCH MUCH harder the more crap that happens to you. People like you who giveblanket statements like "You create your own breaks" only see one piece of the puzzle, when the puzzle has hundreds of pieces that you don't even consider. Life, especially to someone who has had a rocky life, is NEVER as easy as "Oooh, think positive and good things will happen to you". You have toGET the breaks and start feeling like you have some control before it will happen to you. It's much more complicated than a tired, old cliché will ever solve, but ifyou're big on old sayings, here's one for you: "Someone is either part of the solution or they're part of the problem", and when someone is part of the problem, that's when you have a right to be ticked off about it.

If a guy comes from a broken home, gets tormented constantly for trying to succeed in school, held to a standard that is impossible to obtain, is target practice for older siblings because he's younger, tries to succeed and gets teased, taunted, tormented and abused on a constant basis, both emotionally and physically,and takes over a decade to get a lousy 4-year degree... guess freakin' what? NOT gonna be positive!


The attitude that is adopted is based on circumstances in their lifetimes. People don't choose to be negative either. They are because their lives dictate it. It's been scientifically proven with dogs. There was a study where a dog was beaten every time it went into the light. By the 10th time, it would bark, growl and even bite to avoid going into the light, instead opting for the relative safety of the dark closet. Is the dog positive? No. Does the dog have a choice? No. Same thing with people. It's all how you're raised and the big breaks you end up getting or not getting.

I'm with you Hazmat. A seeminglytrue nice guy in all the ways!


I don't think it's the fact that nice guys finish last. When you see women end up with the guys who act like jerks who don't appreciate them, this is more of a reflection of where this woman is emotionally than the fact that they reject nice guys.


A woman who suffers from low-self esteem, and other emotional issues too numerous to name, lacks the ability to recognize and appreciate what it is like to be with a man who is ready willing and able to love them and treat them right in a healthy way. "Agenuinely nice guy". Since they lack self-love, since maybethey lack the appreciation for self and have learned maybe from child hood experience that love is supposed to equal heartache, they subconsciously seek out guys that make them "suffer" for love. They equate love with drama and heartache.


They date guys with serious emotional problems that are detrimental to a healthy relationship, because they themselves have issues they haven't dealt with.


Unfortunately more often than not both males and females suffer this problem. You've got guys who go for girls who are unattainable and will dog them out because they also feel that love = drama as well and they are not worthy of anything betterand that you're supposed to suffer for love.


At some point you get to a place where you realize, "Hey it doesn't have to be like this." We've all read posts of people in situations that we know are unhealthy for them. These are nice people, but they are "in love and suffering for it because they are inan unhealthy relationship.


We can't change others but we can change ourselves and the choices we make and our mindset. Love doesn't have to hurt so much ALL of the time. We can learn not to get so caught up in what we feel for someone that we continue to ignore the red flags that are warning us "DANGER AHEAD" if we continue down this path. Falling in love does not always mean we fall for the person who is "right for us". Yet often because we're in love, we want our love to work out. Often we don't stop to count the costs or to realize if our feelings are being reciprocated in the right way. We say if only we could love harder, try harder, until we realize that it takes two to make a relationship work, our love alone won't do it.


I say all ofthis having gone down that road myself. Allowing "love" to cloud my judgement to the point that I was dealing with a guy who was a nice guy but a jerk inthe way he treated me. (Yet I allowed this to happen). I stayed far longer than I should becoming a doormat and taking what he dished out. I blamed him for being a jerk, but someone told me that I needed to "look at myself".


I had more going for me than to put up with this guy's crap. I realized that I had some internal work to do. This lead me to making healthy choices and I'm glad I did this work as over 3 years later, A nice girl connected with a nice guy and they are very nice together.[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif[/img]