The phrase that my boyfriend says that really bothers me is his response to my daily question when he returns from work, "How was your day sweetie", I say? To which he always replys, "loooooong". That's it that is all he says, long, no details, no interesting interactions, nothing. Surely something went on during his day that he could elaborate on. I come home and I have an overload of information to tell him and I never understand why he has nothing?
You need to read the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Zenith". It tells why he says that. He just wants to come home and relax after talking all day and we want to connect to our guy especially if we have been dealing with kids all day that we can't cumunicate with on an adult level. We can tell our guys to take a chill pill for a while then when hes more relaxed we can connect vebally. I know its hard but it takes give and take. Smiles
My former gf (I'll call Tina) and I were eroute to her house after visiting one of her female friends who had told us of something very difficult that was going on in her life. (I had gone through a somewhat similar experience.) During the ride, I referred to the story her friend had told us, and then alluded to my similar story of woe, which hardly took a minute or so. Tina then gave me a condescending look, and said, "It's not about YOU!" Her tone was arrogant and belittling, insinuating I was selfish and only thought of myself. None of which is true. Is that phrase from a movie or something? It seems to be one of those trendy sayings people sometimes love to say, but before doing so they should do a systems check before opening their mouths, as the person's partner may not deserve it. The amount of venom coming from her in uttering that short phrase made me question the entire relationship, as it should have. Please avoid saying someting like that to the person in your life. Also, avoid saying other negative "trendy" remarks that have become practically mainstream.
The one comment that bugs me is when I ask, "Where would you like to go eat (visit, dance, etc.)?"; or "What do you want to do?", then be told,"I don't care. You choose." Then find out later, or in the middle of what we are doing, that this is NOT what the other person wanted.
"What we have here is a lack of communication."
I used to be taken aback when wild, out of context reactions occured at the slightest of infractions (real or perceived). But now I'm thankful to find out what type of person only wants 'win', especially early on in the communication process.
But one I've heard a couple of times is: No wonder you're not married. Interesting summation after a couple light back-n-forths.
You should NEVER say "I don't do long term". It just kills the date and probably never see that person again unless they don't do long term either. I went on a few dates with a guy and he was so sweet and nice and did all the right things. He called regularly and messaged and i thought things were going really well. I was starting to really like this guy. Then he joked by saying that he will have to end it soon cause he just doesn't do long term i took it seriously and asked him to explain. His excuse was that he was in a long term relationship for 6 years and didn't want anything serious. Anyway never saw him again but am really cautious of guys now only wanting one thing........
"Do you think you could do something about your breath?" seems to be another relationship-killer. For some reason there are a lot of people who are not in the habit of flossing their teeth regularly. And it's true...you can't change a man. If a person in their 40s is not in the habit of taking care of their teeth, they probably never WILL be. I've had potential relationships "SOUR" because of this more than once.
Why's it gotta be a MAN?
Most of my exes did not have the good hygiene that I've had since childhood. Somehow I always end up with people that don't take proper care of themselves, inside and outside. When I gently and lovingly indicate that maybe they should do something about the situation, they call me Neat Freak, Overly Sensitive, or Homosexual (just because I floss, my bathroom smells nice, and I have clean, well-fitting clothes).
So why did you indicate that it's always MEN who have poor personal hygiene? Kind of sexist, don'tcha you think?
You should not make comments quoting a person, especially the same person more than once and then add: 'she's a good friend of mine.' I have found that 9 out of 10 times the 'good friend' whose quotes you have to listen to all night, is the ex. Then please don't add insult to injury by menitoning how you hang out at this 'good friend's' place. The new gal/guy doesn't have a chance, unless they are into game playing and can do you one better. I hope those of you who are guilty of this will please try to put the shoe on the other foot and see how you would like it. Since I'm a woman, I see this in men, a lot. Sad thing is: I bet this 'good friend' is sick and tired of the ex and wishes he would go find someone else, unless..... he's good at helping do things around her house and is willing. That will keep him around for awhile, but when all is said and done and she starts a new romance, you are out of there Buddy. So if you are in the dating scene, do us all a favour and save your self-respect too. End the 'dead end' realationship. Just accept it: It's over! Move on!
It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage.
No.... ... –
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If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... –
shapeShifter79
Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates!
What specific steps did you try?
How many women did you ask out in person?
Did you buy a ... –
shapeShifter79
Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... –
Sassafras54
Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices.
QUOTE]
But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... –
eccemuliere
Do you have something completely stupid to talk about? Come here. Talk. It's a simple two step process. Please have a good sense of humor about all this. It is good for the heart.
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It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... – Wiseman2
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Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... – shapeShifter79
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