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eharmonyadvice eharmonyadvice is offline
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Communication is key to a great relationship, but there are certain instances when too much talking can do more harm than good. Here's when you should call it quits on trying to work it out.
- July 22nd, 2008, 07:45 am
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Editor Editor is offline
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There is a huge chasm between knowing when to be quiet and simply shutting up. Comments on this?
- July 22nd, 2008, 07:47 am
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Songryder Songryder is offline
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eharmonyadvice, wrote :

Communication is key to a great relationship, but there are certain instances when too much talking can do more harm than good. Here's when you should call it quits on trying to work it out.
Walk away if you're really pissed . . . don't antagonize an already heated situation. Calm down, regroup, come back and talk about the problem with the intention of resolution.


When one parnteris constantly apologizing and then constantly repeating the same abusive behavior (verbal or physical).


When one partner is unwilling to seek professional help when there are serious issues to address as a couple.


When already established Deal Breakers are broken.
- July 22nd, 2008, 01:26 pm
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Why are men often more quiet than are females? I would like a male point of view on this, please. Although I am always willing to hear anything new or different from the women. Thx
- July 22nd, 2008, 02:32 pm
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mrmike mrmike is offline
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Songryder wrote :

eharmonyadvice, wrote :


Communication is key to a great relationship, but there are certain instances when too much talking can do more harm than good. Here's when you should call it quits on trying to work it out.


Walk away if you're really pissed . . . don't antagonize an already heated situation. Calm down, regroup, come back and talk about the problem with the intention of resolution.


When one parnteris constantly apologizing and then constantly repeating the same abusive behavior (verbal or physical).


When one partner is unwilling to seek professional help when there are serious issues to address as a couple.


When already established Deal Breakers are broken.
You are correct. My take has always been,if adiscussion elevates itself to a yelling match over and over,then you two should not be together. Obvously a meeting of the minds can not be achieved. yelling all the time is a terrible way to likve. Do everything in your power to try to understand the others point of view and see where they are coming from. Nothing is worth the heartache and anger of a yelling match. By the way does talking about it later really help? The same issues will still be there and likely the same possibility of the talk escalating. Just be willing to compromise from the outset and very few talks would elevate the shouting.
- July 22nd, 2008, 03:40 pm
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I think going over the same complaint or message constantly only succeeds in "wearing the listener out!" If the remark involves making changes...TIMING IS EVERYTHING! And the worst time to make a suggestion about change is when a person is just waking up in the morning...or is completely exhausted froma hard day of work.


Most people are a bit more receptive after their first cup of coffee and perhaps a little exercise?


argytunes
- July 22nd, 2008, 05:02 pm
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TUESDAY TUESDAY is offline
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I just thought I should point out, that when you choose to stop talking because it has escalated into an ugly exchange, do not walk away insinuating invalidation of your partners feelings, explain that you feel disrespected, angry, tired....whatever the reason is and negotiate a reasonable time for the both of you when you can revisit the issue. It is very important to think beyond the now of the argument, always leaving space for bettering the relationship, if it is worth keeping. I don't however advocate for pacification, but a means of keeping the relationship very respectable.
- July 23rd, 2008, 02:55 pm
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I think if a person could just remember this article, their relationship would be alot stronger. We all know that this is not a perfect world and we all wish we could shut our mouths and think of the other person and their feelings, but we as a society are selfish.


I am glad I read this so I can learn to grow. Isn't that what we all want?
- July 31st, 2008, 01:43 am
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THE WHOLE IDEA IS A MEETING OF THE HEARTS AND MINDS. ASK FOR A TIME WHEN YOU CAN TALK. SET UP AWEEKLY OR MONTHLY TIME TO SHARE. LEAVE YOUR DEFENSIVE SELF APART FROM THE CONVERSATION. BE A GREAT LISTENER. MAKE SIGGESTIONS ON PROBLEM SOLVING SOLUTIONS. ALWAYS SPEAK YOUR TRUTH BEGINNING WITH WHAT IS WORKING. IF ALL THIS FAILS SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP.


- July 31st, 2008, 05:12 am
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yetanotherdavid yetanotherdavid is offline
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Editor wrote :

Why are men often more quiet than are females? I would like a male point of view on this, please. Although I am always willing to hear anything new or different from the women. Thx
I'm biased here (because I'm male ;-) but I feel we are more contemplative and logical. Who doesn't have a picture in their mind of the wise old father or grandfather figure who listens to all the hasty descriptions and doesn't speak until there is something important to say and everyone stops to listen. I'm a big fan of Ben Franklin and when the rest of the room is at each other's throat, he was able to calmly stand and deliver quiet but strong words that were wise and right to the point of the matter. He made all the bickering cease and caused everyone to stop and think about what is really important.
- July 31st, 2008, 06:14 am
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