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eharmonyadvice eharmonyadvice is offline
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When chemistry is off the charts with a new partner, it pays to play your advances slower than your instincts may be telling you. The entire longevity of the relationship could be at stake.
- July 5th, 2007, 09:00 am
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2141BeverlyVersoy 2141BeverlyVersoy is offline
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100 percent accurate. One who is looking for sex first and than relationship has things in reverse. Most anyone can have sex----very few have a meaningful relationship and without that there is no meaningful sex. I could make this statement much longer but choose stop here.
- July 8th, 2007, 02:44 pm
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2163BarbaraPeragine 2163BarbaraPeragine is offline
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I heartily concur with your analysis of chemistry but, not all men feel the way you do about withholding sex until you get to know the person. I was rejected by a man I fell head over heels in love with because I wanted to get to know him better and he was impatient. Although we had much in common there were many things about his character that I felt left much to be desired. I therefore, found it hard to trust him with my vulnerabilities and I wanted to wait before we became intimate. He started to look elsewhere and left me devastated. That was seven years ago and I found it very difficult to establish any relationships since then because none seemed to measure up to this man.
- July 8th, 2007, 03:41 pm
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2177BDG 2177BDG is offline
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Oh, yeah! I started dating a woman I've liked for a long time. We had been co-workers & friends in the past. She said she wasn't sure what she wanted, didn't know if she wanted a relationship, or even knew how to handle one. The chemistry was unbelievable. We are both in our early 50's.

She got scared & freaked out when things moved along too fast. She is gun-shy as a result of her last relationahip, and even though she said she always has a great time when she is with me, she started doing things like cancelling dates and saying "we'll see" instead of committing to planning activities together.

I gave it a rest and we have started seeing each other again, suposedly just as friends. Although we have been intimate in the past, that is not happening now. Of course, I want more, and will be disappointed if it doesn't rekindle. However, she is SO worth waiting for.
- July 8th, 2007, 03:59 pm
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2219BeckyBatts 2219BeckyBatts is offline
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As a Christian, I have found that living outside of the Biblical Boundaries, sex before marriage doesn't work. I am committed to sexual purity for my future. Character and mutual respect in a relationship is worth it If everything else is where it should be, the sex part will be blessed.
- July 8th, 2007, 04:56 pm
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2225Suzanne 2225Suzanne is offline
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I recently dated someone with whom I had very strong mutual chemistry in all areas. We agreed to wait to have sex until we both felt the time was right. Nonetheless, we did plenty of other things physically, and when the time became right for him, he just went for it, without actually asking me if I was ready. I should have stopped him, but I wanted him too badly. On our next date, he told me he wasn't ready for a girlfriend yet. It was a devistating blow, but a good lesson for me. What I had interpreted as the next step in our relationship was just another facet of mine he wanted to explore. And I had ignored my own needs in order to satisfy his. The relationship ended three months later. I take responsibility for my mistakes in it; I will be even more careful the next time I feel such strong chemistry with someone.
- July 8th, 2007, 05:01 pm
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2337BAP 2337BAP is offline
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All I can say is every relationship that I have had with a guy where there was strong sizzling chemistry has moved to intimacy too fast, focused too heavily on intimacy on the part of the Christian men involved, and ended because I refused to be nothing more than a glorified booty call. I want a relationship that glorifies the Lord, but where are the emotionally mature men who want this too, and with whom I am otherwise compatible with?
- July 8th, 2007, 08:41 pm
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2360Mike 2360Mike is offline
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I've been disappointed on this site seeing so many women that see premarital sex as "part of a loving relationship" when I ask that pre-written question. They by-passed choosing in an engagement or in marriage. Sex is a wonderful opportunity to share with a spouse so that each of us can give ourselves fully to one person the way God desires. I hope that this Christian website can challenge each of us to be more Christ-like. Catholic teachings have wonderful explanations about this called "Theology of the Body" by Pope John Paul II. He taught this in his early years as a priest in Poland and preached it as pope. It discusses the way God designed us. Way to go JPII! You have inspired a new generation of youth to embrace purity.
- July 8th, 2007, 11:23 pm
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2367Marty 2367Marty is offline
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Serious question (I really don't know): So is it okay to get physical during engagement, or must it be after marriage?
- July 8th, 2007, 11:56 pm
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2376Carolyn 2376Carolyn is offline
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Marty:

Not sure what exactly you mean by "get physical," but if you are a Christian, God has called you to be holy as He is holy. This means high standards for a relationship, recognizing that your body and your partner's belong to God, and waiting until after the wedding for the "two to become one."
- July 9th, 2007, 01:22 am
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