Harnessing Your Wild Side

Harnessing Your Wild Side

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Harnessing Your Wild Side


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blabrn is offline blabrn Post #71  December 10,2007, 3:59am
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Well, I met a man on Eharmony in which it seemed that we shared the same christian beliefs. We did have sex, though not what either of us would subscribe to. He felt guilty and said he needed to not do that anymore...which was fine with me. I thought that the relationship was more than that, so backing up was fine with me. WE had prayed together, gone to church together, met each other's families and best friends, etc. "I know this relationship is God's will", he said. Then literally, within 48 hours after a last visit, he ended it. He apologized and said that he really enjoyed our time together, but that when we were apart, he really never thought about me. The apology was a little too late for me. He did say that he had a pattern of hurting the people that he loved. Wow. Great to be loved. Now, I notice how many men (christian is my choice) say it is ok in a loving relationship. What does that mean? How is a loving relationship defined? I even have had a dating minister show me scripture to allow for pre-marital sex. I know that ultimately it will be decided by the couple, but really...what does that "loving relationship" mean?
 
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Janie is offline Janie Post #72  December 14,2007, 5:02pm
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I have made the mistake of doing it on the first date trust me it fizzles fast..Sure chemistry is great but i wish i had held out a little longer than i did.. It broke my heart when he stopped calling when i said i wasnt in the mood at the time.. Lesson learned yes but i still dont have a prob with premarrital sex its just about timing for me now.. Do we have enough in common or is this guy worth giving my combination to is what i ask myself now so far noone has gotten my combination yet but i am hopeful that i will find that someone to be myself with and not worry that he think i am easy.
 
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gentlelady312 is offline gentlelady312 Post #73  December 14,2007, 7:15pm
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A similar thing happened to me except we went to confession together and that was the last time I ever saw him.
 
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AztecDancer is offline AztecDancer Post #74  August 22,2008, 10:05am
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I love sex, i love making love, i would not want to be in a long relationship with a man that was useless in bed.


I have had very long term relationships with men that i have jumped on! my husband included.


Things are very different now as well. Its a fast food mentality.


As far as holding back goes, ... well... its like a smorgasboard, you take your plate up, and you help yourself to the things you love and leave the rest!


I know what i like, down to the tiniest detail. I see what i like and take it! life is really just a blink, so, be good, but do enjoy.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #75  August 22,2008, 1:03pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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Sarah,39264 wrote :

I've had the unfortunate experience that most men aren't interested in a committed relationship, they want the sex and they want it on their terms. I too have made the decision to remain celibate. Even though this website was first founded on Christian background, there are a lot of men here who aren't interested in marriage, love and family. They just want a booty call. I've decided that if a guy is only interested in me for sex, he's not worth dealing with.
Sarah....I think this is (at least part of) the value of the old (ancient?) admonition for women not to have sexand even toremain chaste until marriage. This is because one way, and probably the safest way, to find out if a man really wants a long term relationship is not to have sex with him. If you're not willing to have sex with him for a period of time you'll most likely weed out all those who just want the 'booty call'. Especially in the old days before birth control and child support the possible negative consequences of giving in to a man's 'booty call' were very real and potentially catastrophic. While it may seem to you that there aren't any men out there who really want a relationship....there are! Keep looking.
 
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blueshoe is offline blueshoe Post #76  September 5,2009, 2:20am
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Great article what a breath of fresh air that was ! Yea EH !!!!
 
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CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #77  September 5,2009, 5:00am
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It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

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This is nothing new. The old wives have been saying it for ages: Why by the cow when the milk is free. It holds moreso true for youner ones than the older ones. It's also as Tyler Perry said: giving it up too soon only gets you dinner and a movie. Holding out gives you everything else.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #78  September 5,2009, 5:08am
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~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

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an eharmony article that i actually agree with.
 
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