fyrboy is offline fyrboy Post #1  February 4,2012, 12:01pm
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I hope I am not alone on this one but does anyone else find they have a tendency to chose a person on here more for the physical attraction off the start than their entire profile. Don't get me wrong, deal breakers (ie smoker, drink too often) are deal breakers but there are matches and ice breakers from women I find no physical attraction to just by their photos Believe me it is not that I am looking for a supermodel by any means, I just know what I am generally physically attracted to as long as her personality isn't a deal breaker too.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  February 4,2012, 1:27pm
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I don't look at it as "more," but as each aspect has to be strong enough to stand up to what I feel I must be able to deliver.

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It is easy to cut slack on a profile ... the match was rushed, found it hard to write about themself, is not a native speaker ...

The camera, in contrast, doesn't lie.
 
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Goomph is offline Goomph — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  February 4,2012, 2:24pm
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There has to be something which makes me go, I like it I am not looking for a beauty queen, but I have to like it .... it is part of the whole thing.
 
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LDJ is offline LDJ Post #4  February 4,2012, 3:32pm
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I don't see that there is anything wrong with that, if you don't have that physical attraction at the get-go, it can be a long bumpy ride to a forced relationship or a non-relationship.

My bf of 16 mos contacted me on eH because of my picture, not that he would admit it was all just that, but now that I know him as well as I do, I can tell you that if he thought about who he was as a person, as in his interests and philosphy on life, he wouldn't have contacted me because my profile clearly stated our outlooks were very different in a few key areas. Even in the first set of questions, if he was going entirely on content, he should not have carried on.

When I opend his profile, it was his picture that caught my attention for sure! I did much as you say, checked the profile for any glaring inconsistancies, my second thought was "yeah, right, this either isn't for real, or this one is totally screwed up". But I decided to go along and see where it would go.

...and here we are, life's funny like that
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #5  February 4,2012, 3:32pm
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fyrboy wrote :
I hope I am not alone on this one but does anyone else find they have a tendency to chose a person on here more for the physical attraction off the start than their entire profile.
No, I close some percentage based on looks alone, but mostly I considered the entire package being presented to me.

wrote :
but there are matches and ice breakers from women I find no physical attraction to just by their photos
Why do you say that with a frown? If you walk down an aisle at Walmart, there will be some percentage of women that make you go "Ugh!" whom you'd never date in a million years. There may also be a woman or two who'd never date you.

wrote :
Believe me it is not that I am looking for a supermodel by any means, I just know what I am generally physically attracted to as long as her personality isn't a deal breaker too.
As long as your eyes are realistic, that's totally fine. If you're having a hard time getting second dates, then revise your approach.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #6  February 4,2012, 4:07pm
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fyrboy wrote :
I hope I am not alone on this one but does anyone else find they have a tendency to chose a person on here more for the physical attraction off the start than their entire profile. Don't get me wrong, deal breakers (ie smoker, drink too often) are deal breakers but there are matches and ice breakers from women I find no physical attraction to just by their photos Believe me it is not that I am looking for a supermodel by any means, I just know what I am generally physically attracted to as long as her personality isn't a deal breaker too.
You sound like you are apologizing for doing so.
To a certain extent, I think there is somewhat of "kid in a candy store" mentality when it comes to e-dating...however, you do have to have an attraction to the person...and the only immediate vehicle for that is their photos.
I tend to give some leeway to photos, as I don't consider myself the most photogenic person either.
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #7  February 4,2012, 7:02pm
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it seems to me that the first thing we notice about another, either IRL or on-line (unless one does not have a profile picture posted) is how the other person looks. to deny this, i believe, is to be disingenuous.

this is why good profile pictures are vital. do remember that photos are not always an accurate representation. however, do not feel guilty for closing someone you find less than attractive.
 
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MileHighArtist is offline MileHighArtist Post #8  February 4,2012, 7:20pm
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Pictures play a part, but if there's no common interests there in their profile then she's just a pretty face. On the flip side if she's built like an offensive lineman then I'll close it out too.
Last edited by MileHighArtist; February 4,2012 at 7:22pm.
 
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singinggirl is offline singinggirl Post #9  February 4,2012, 7:26pm
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I think that's what most of us notice first, both online and IRL. The trick is to make sure you are not judging solely on looks. You have to remember that lots of people look very different in real life than they do in their pictures--both better and worse.
 
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Alli824 is online now Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  February 5,2012, 4:53am
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One of my most attractive dates had one of the worst pics I've ever seen. However, his profile was so compelling I wanted to meet him. In person he was drop dead gorgeous. I am visual yes, but what would turn me off in a pic is evidence of gross overweight, shirtless pics, men standing in front of expensive cars or a Macmansion, and the inevitable Harley (I am not a Harley Girl.) Since I go for brain over brawn, I'll give anyone else a chance providing the profile speaks to me. Attractiveness to me is a package and looks are subjective.
 
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