Scotidragon is offline Scotidragon Post #11  February 5,2012, 2:40pm
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I confess, I'll look at a photo before reading the profile. We're all geared to react in different ways to different photos. There's always someone for everyone, so it all balances out.
 
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Shelaw is offline Shelaw Post #12  February 5,2012, 4:44pm
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Most of us are visual; men especially so. You don't need to feel that there is anything "wrong" with your approach, so long as you consider factors beyond her appearance after the initial attraction.

Like Alli824, I nearly did not meet someone because his picture was less than great. It didn't cause an "oh, wow" reaction from me, but his profile otherwise was intriguing. And, I kept reminding myself that eHarm matched us based on those magical "29 points of compatibility" or whatever the number is.

When he and I met in person, I had a jaw-drop reaction. The man is drop-dead gorgeous. And to know that I chose to go out with him not because of his looks but because of the other things in his profile, well, I feel pretty good about that. None of us want to be superficial, after all.

Point is: Some people just don't take a good pic. Others take great pics but are less attractive in person. So, don't place too much value on the pictures.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #13  February 6,2012, 5:04pm
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says this is the best wedding picture!

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Eh, I think we're all geared toward photos first. Even women.

For me, when I saw my wife's picture, it was kind of blurry and you couldn't really tell what she looked like. But wow, I remember when I first saw her. Wow!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #14  February 6,2012, 5:27pm
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Were you also blurry to your wife?

Give us the details!
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #15  February 6,2012, 5:31pm
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says this is the best wedding picture!

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D_Lion wrote :
Were you also blurry to your wife?

Give us the details!
Her first thought when she saw me was "handsome... tall... but he dresses kind of dorky."

Sigh.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #16  February 6,2012, 5:50pm
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* Puts on dorkiest clothing ...
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #17  February 6,2012, 11:56pm
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enjoying NYC.

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notyet wrote :
it seems to me that the first thing we notice about another, either IRL or on-line (unless one does not have a profile picture posted) is how the other person looks. to deny this, i believe, is to be disingenuous.

...
This ^^^

I have found that, most of the time, the people that put others down for being "shallow" for looking for attractiveness are those that have something wrong with them physically (overweight etc.).
 
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boschimsp is offline boschimsp — Advice Member-Moderator Post #18  February 7,2012, 9:54am
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I agree with the comments that in some form, looks are always going to factor in. Attraction is important and I never discount it. That said, I try to only eliminate people I feel I could never ever be attracted to. I have certainly had the experience where people are more attractive IRL than in their photos. I've also had the experience where a really intriguing profile can make me really excited to meet someone. It's not going to lead me to go on a date with someone I could never be attracted to, but it could make someone who isn't conventionally attractive/on the fence more attractive.
 
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Mariyole is offline Mariyole Post #19  February 8,2012, 8:07pm
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I wouldn't close a man just based on looks unless he is very overweight. I have felt strong physical attraction to men who are bold or even considered ugly by my girlfriends. I have been asked out by good looking men with whom I sensed no chemistry. So I try to meet in person to figure out how I feel in the presence of the guy. A picture to me conveys no chemistry.
 
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