StingFanChicago is offline StingFanChicago Post #71  February 4,2012, 4:59am
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Yes, it seems you have some trust issues, but regardless...sounds like you are picking up on something subtle, in your gut....it's like you just KNOW there is something on FB and you want to find it. I bet it's there too. He isn't adding you on FB because there is stuff that is going to upset you. He needs time to delete old flirty messages from his FB "harem" and doesn't feel like doing it in order to add you as a friend. Also, he may be inappropriately flirty with his female FB friends and doesn't want you to know about it. I don't know if he sounds like he's actually doing any real "cheating" so to speak...but he is communicating in a way online that WILL make you uncomfortable if you see it. That's why you aren't added as a friend. I don't think this is the kind of guy you will ever fully trust...especially is he's slick with the ladies.
 
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MileHighArtist is offline MileHighArtist Post #72  February 4,2012, 6:26am
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How's this any different then him going out with his male friends or relatives for a night without you, OP? Everyone needs some personal space regardless of their affections for their SO. You seem to be in his life plenty, so back off. Unless there are clear signs that he's cheating on you, you're overreacting - big time.
 
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BelieveInMe is offline BelieveInMe Post #73  February 6,2012, 6:52pm
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MileHighArtist wrote :
How's this any different then him going out with his male friends or relatives for a night without you, OP? Everyone needs some personal space regardless of their affections for their SO. You seem to be in his life plenty, so back off. Unless there are clear signs that he's cheating on you, you're overreacting - big time.

Going out with male friends occasionally is healthy. I am ok with that. But keeping me off FB seems odd to me. I just don't understand his reasoning...
 
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BelieveInMe is offline BelieveInMe Post #74  February 6,2012, 6:54pm
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StingFanChicago wrote :
Yes, it seems you have some trust issues, but regardless...sounds like you are picking up on something subtle, in your gut....it's like you just KNOW there is something on FB and you want to find it. I bet it's there too. He isn't adding you on FB because there is stuff that is going to upset you. He needs time to delete old flirty messages from his FB "harem" and doesn't feel like doing it in order to add you as a friend. Also, he may be inappropriately flirty with his female FB friends and doesn't want you to know about it. I don't know if he sounds like he's actually doing any real "cheating" so to speak...but he is communicating in a way online that WILL make you uncomfortable if you see it. That's why you aren't added as a friend. I don't think this is the kind of guy you will ever fully trust...especially is he's slick with the ladies.
I just don't know...I do not believe he is doing anything wrong on fb but I can't help but see him keeping me off as a red flag.
 
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BelieveInMe is offline BelieveInMe Post #75  February 6,2012, 7:01pm
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brokensmile76 wrote :
I believe once the trust has been broken it is nearly impossible to repair. You will continue to doubt he is being faithful (which he may really be faithful) and this will create a wedge in the relationship. If you don't completely 100% trust your partner, then why be with them? Trust shouldn't have to be earned and he shouldn't have to prove anything to you. You should have entered the relationship trusting him until he gave you a reason not to trust him. Once that trust is broken, so is the relationship.

I'd let this one go. The Facebook thing is a big deal. He is either talking/flirting with other women on Facebook and pretending he is "single". He is hiding you from his Facebook family and friends for a reason. The Facebook stuff is just the icing on the cake. You have bigger cake problems!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I have to disagree. I think trust has to be earned. I met this guy on the internet... knew nothing about him. It has taken me a long time to really know him in a way that I can fully trust him. We got off to a rocky start (my fault) when it came to trust...and for the most part I do trust him, except this F
B thing has me questioning things bc it is a red flag to me. He says it is his cave...ok..I just can't understand it...
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #76  February 7,2012, 4:06am
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That's his "hobby"..flirting /messaging / friending on FB...it's an ego boost and fun for him...it would ruin it if he were "taken" on FB...He could always take it to the next level (real life) so keeping his options open is both fun and practical.... in case you two don't work out...
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #77  February 7,2012, 12:34pm
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I know a lot of guys are different than I, but quite honestly, I am proud of my girlfriend, and I am proud to be in a relationship with her.

So I was more than happy to friend her in FB, and post check-ins and pics of her and I together as we experience dating and life together.

But I know there are many guys that either hate FB completely, and won't even join, let alone friend various people in their lives.

As to why he won't friend the OP, hard to say...
My guess would be like others speculating here, it is his "man cave", where he has guy friends posting bad/dirty/etc stuff to his Wall, while perhaps there is a few old girlfriends posting there as well, and he simply doesn't want that world to blend with his world with the OP.

Reminds me of an old Seinfeld episode, where George tries to keep his girlfriend from hanging out/talking with his friends... He called it "Independent George":

"Independent George" - Seinfeld scene (HD) - YouTube
 
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