Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #41  January 31,2012, 3:54pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Well, not having ex-partner(s) interfering is a big plus in your favor.

I'd still tend to think this is a radical choice and change for him to make, and therefore the decision appears to be to jump in "whole hog," so to speak, or ease in. More about that later.

***

On the topic of him allowing sundry buddies and hangers-on to drive a wedge between him and his partner, he should be shutting the unhealthy people right out of his life (I would, and immediately.)

Although you should not have to raise this idea, it is one path to take.

***

In my opinion, it's time to stop talking and take some specific decisions.

I would sit down together and look at the economics of living together (and there are a variety of ways to do this, including keeping two houses and one person commutes only Monday morning and Friday evening)

***

As regards the infidelity fear, I'd accept that it's 10% (the rate of infidelity generally) and live with it (or bail.) You're not likely to learn anything more precise than that, anyway.

D_L.....I guess you didn't read the posts above you and the previous pages....the OP has broken up with him....case closed on this one...
 
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Thess888 is offline Thess888 Post #42  January 31,2012, 5:31pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Well, not having ex-partner(s) interfering is a big plus in your favor.

I'd still tend to think this is a radical choice and change for him to make, and therefore the decision appears to be to jump in "whole hog," so to speak, or ease in. More about that later.

***

On the topic of him allowing sundry buddies and hangers-on to drive a wedge between him and his partner, he should be shutting the unhealthy people right out of his life (I would, and immediately.)

Although you should not have to raise this idea, it is one path to take.

***

In my opinion, it's time to stop talking and take some specific decisions.

I would sit down together and look at the economics of living together (and there are a variety of ways to do this, including keeping two houses and one person commutes only Monday morning and Friday evening)

***

As regards the infidelity fear, I'd accept that it's 10% (the rate of infidelity generally) and live with it (or bail.) You're not likely to learn anything more precise than that, anyway.
I appreciate your thoughts. No reason for me to sit down with him on any matters. I decided to move on. I respect myself and my family and would not condone his actions. I'm really glad I joined this group. I needed this wake up call.
 
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Goomph is offline Goomph — Advice Member-Moderator Post #43  January 31,2012, 5:42pm
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I wish you the best of luck !!!


I hope you will stick around now that you have discovered us

Thess888 wrote :
I appreciate your thoughts. No reason for me to sit down with him on any matters. I decided to move on. I respect myself and my family and would not condone his actions. I'm really glad I joined this group. I needed this wake up call.
 
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Thess888 is offline Thess888 Post #44  January 31,2012, 5:57pm
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Goomph wrote :
I wish you the best of luck !!!


I hope you will stick around now that you have discovered us
I could definitely see the value
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #45  January 31,2012, 6:27pm
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I never know love meant "easy come, easy go," but there we go.
 
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Thess888 is offline Thess888 Post #46  February 1,2012, 3:23am
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D_Lion wrote :
I never know love meant "easy come, easy go," but there we go.
I hope it would be an easy com, easy go kind of thing. It won't be. It's been a sad few days.
 
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Goomph is offline Goomph — Advice Member-Moderator Post #47  February 1,2012, 3:35am
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It is never easy to let go of somebody even when they deserve it. I am sure OP is urting/going to hurt somewhat as a result of this.

In my opinion when your partner does certain things there isn't much left to do but to separate your ways and get yourself out of a situation you don;t want to be in. I think another we will agree to disagree point with D_Lion.
 
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Thess888 is offline Thess888 Post #48  February 1,2012, 4:31am
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Goomph wrote :
It is never easy to let go of somebody even when they deserve it. I am sure OP is urting/going to hurt somewhat as a result of this.

In my opinion when your partner does certain things there isn't much left to do but to separate your ways and get yourself out of a situation you don;t want to be in. I think another we will agree to disagree point with D_Lion.
Usually, the one who is dumped is the one in pain. I'm sure he is in so much pain right now. But why is it that the void and hurt that I have won't go away when I'm the one who let him go?
 
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Goomph is offline Goomph — Advice Member-Moderator Post #49  February 1,2012, 4:35am
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Because you also lost the person you love ....You might have done the dumping, but, it doesn't mean you will not feeling a thing. You just had reasons to do it. Time will definitely take the pain away .... Please keep yourself busy, go out with your friends, do things with people as much as you can.
 
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Thess888 is offline Thess888 Post #50  February 1,2012, 4:57am
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Goomph wrote :
Because you also lost the person you love ....You might have done the dumping, but, it doesn't mean you will not feeling a thing. You just had reasons to do it. Time will definitely take the pain away .... Please keep yourself busy, go out with your friends, do things with people as much as you can.
You're right. You are absolutely right. Keeping myself busy with work won't help. I'll explore that possibility.
 
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