SingleFLMom is offline SingleFLMom Post #1  January 26,2012, 7:07am
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So last night I went over to my guy's place. Guess I'd call him that since we've been seeing each other for a little over a month now. Well we were watching tv after dinner and he asked me if I wanted a blanket because he didn't want me getting cold. I told him I was fine. Thought it was a sweet gesture at first.

Then we got ready for bed. He knew that my wonderful monthly visitor was here which meant no sex happening. He got in bed first and when I went to get in he's like ummm you can't sleep in my bed when you are on your period. (he's Jewish). I was like huh? Never heard of that. Said something about women being considered dirty while it's their time of the month. When I got ready to get up and leave he's like I'll break the rules though. Oh gee thanks!

Well he stayed allllllll the way on the other side of the bed last night. Almost like he couldn't get further away from me. Which is sooooo not like him because he loves to cuddle. What's weirder is this morning he was all cuddling like normal. So I got major mixed signals.

I'll admit I felt dirty after this all went down and had I not fallen asleep I would have gotten my stuff and went back home. He knew it was my time of the month before I came over so he could have easily warned me about this before I came over that way I could have just chosen to stay home.

Thoughts???
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #2  January 26,2012, 7:12am
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There seems to be a cultural incompatibility, not "mixed messages"
 
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Dropdeadredtx is online now Dropdeadredtx Post #3  January 26,2012, 7:17am
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Yes, this has nothing to do with you personally. Do a little reading about Judaism.
 
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SingleFLMom is offline SingleFLMom Post #4  January 26,2012, 7:22am
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I did read up on it more this morning. I have no issues with it. I guess my issue is more on how it all went down. Maybe I'm just ignorant in the fact that I had no idea this was part of their belief. I guess it bothered me that he'd wait until the last minute to tell me about this part of his belief.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #5  January 26,2012, 7:28am
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Not a mixed message at all. Sounds like a good idea to have an in depth discussion about his religious beliefs sooner rather than later.
 
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SingleFLMom is offline SingleFLMom Post #6  January 26,2012, 7:33am
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DancingFool wrote :
Not a mixed message at all. Sounds like a good idea to have an in depth discussion about his religious beliefs sooner rather than later.
Definitely plan on doing that. I guess the mixed message was him staying away from me last night yet being all cuddly with me this morning. Just two different extremes.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #7  January 26,2012, 7:33am
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SingleFLMom wrote :
I did read up on it more this morning. I have no issues with it. I guess my issue is more on how it all went down. Maybe I'm just ignorant in the fact that I had no idea this was part of their belief. I guess it bothered me that he'd wait until the last minute to tell me about this part of his belief.
It is not a commonly practiced attitude in this day and age. You are looking at someone who has more extreme fundamentalist views here. Talk to him and make sure you fully understand the extent of it.
 
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jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #8  January 26,2012, 7:37am
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You shouldn't feel dirty!!! He should feel like a self righteous, sexist, over zealous, religious fundamentalist lunatic.

If I were a woman and anyone said anything like that to me, I'd be out the door in two seconds and let him know exactly what I thought of his stupid culture.

SingleFLMom wrote :
I'll admit I felt dirty after this all went down and had I not fallen asleep I would have gotten my stuff and went back home. He knew it was my time of the month before I came over so he could have easily warned me about this before I came over that way I could have just chosen to stay home.

Thoughts???
 
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Dropdeadredtx is online now Dropdeadredtx Post #9  January 26,2012, 8:11am
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jimmyh452 wrote :
You shouldn't feel dirty!!! He should feel like a self righteous, sexist, over zealous, religious fundamentalist lunatic.

If I were a woman and anyone said anything like that to me, I'd be out the door in two seconds and let him know exactly what I thought of his stupid culture.
And the above is an uninformed, racist, intolerant remark about something you don't understand. Orthodox and Hassidic practitioners very much adhere to the old ways; women are supposed to cleanse themselves in holy ritual baths after their cycle.
In many ancient Native American cultures, a woman on her cycle had to sleep in a different hut - it was a widespread practice in ancient cultures. Just because we don't practice it or understand it, does not make the person who does a lunatic.
Tolerance is a beautiful thing.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #10  January 26,2012, 8:31am
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Dropdeadredtx wrote :
And the above is an uninformed, racist, intolerant remark about something you don't understand. Orthodox and Hassidic practitioners very much adhere to the old ways; women are supposed to cleanse themselves in holy ritual baths after their cycle.
In many ancient Native American cultures, a woman on her cycle had to sleep in a different hut - it was a widespread practice in ancient cultures. Just because we don't practice it or understand it, does not make the person who does a lunatic.
Tolerance is a beautiful thing.
Absolutely agree!!!

SingleFLmom, just as you can say, "I'm upset that he waited to tell me about this"....he could say, "I'm upset that she didn't take the time to read about it and learn more about my religion"...So it goes both ways.

Does he not do anything else in his daily life that follows his religious beliefs for you to know that he is strongly involved in his faith? Have you all not had one conversation about his Judaism and what this means to him?

I'm always perplexed on how people can be sharing the most intimate act of sex with each other but not take the time to really get to know the person with whom they are having sex..

Either way, you know now and this is a perfect opportunity to talk with him about his faith and see if you all are compatible in this area.
 
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