My Broke Boyfriend

Hi All,

I have been seeing my boyfriend now for just over a year.

We are great together. Have great chemistry, same sense of humour, have fun together, he treats me really well, but there is a major issue, that is bugging me.

when we first met up, he told me he had been married three times. I was willing to accept that. He also smoked, I told him, I didnt want to be with a smoker, and he assured me he was giving up. Here it is now, and he still hasn't given up. That's not my major issue though.

My main issue is with money and him. From the beginning of our relationship he has been broke. Blamed it on his divorce, then he filed for bankruptcy whilst we were together, still I was willing to accept it. But I noticed how tight he was with money. And it really annoyed me. But again, I accepted it. Then when we were recently away on holiday, he borrowed 250 dollars from me. He told me he would pay me back. Now here it is several months later and no money at all from him.

My divorce comes through shortly, and he had said he would file for his at the same time. when i asked him if he was going to , he told me 'money was tight'. I got annoyed and said 'its always tight with u - you can't do your divorce because of your lack of money, you can't give up smokng ( a course he was going to do anti smoking) because of you being tight with money, and you still haven't paid me back for the spending money.

then he said " well the dinners we have been going to in last two weeks, I have been chipping it off that what I owe you" . that was the last straw for me. I am an old fashioned girl, and feel that he should have paid me back that money, much earlier, and without me having to ask him several times. I felt a bit insulted by that comment, as I hadn't agreed for it to come off the amount he owed me.

I am financially secure, he has no financial security whatsoever and he is 51.

I am so disappointed because the other aspects of the relationship work so well, but i don't want someone who is always penny pinching.

Just wanted some advice pls. Feeling quite sad at the moment, because we came to the conclusion now that until he gets his finances in control, we wont see each other.

He has never had a house in his life, has always rented. he has no savings now, lives with his friend, pays cheap rent, and still has no money, even though he has been working since june last year.

any advice very appreciated.

I think that he doesnt understand or appreciate the value of money. to me, it is important. love is not enough. I am not saying he has to be so wealthy or anything, but have some financial security behind him, he still has nothing, one year later. all i hear is excuses from him, the last straw was him not paying me back. I am a single mum, who also has bills. he supports no one but himself.

*shakes head*

Let's see....

Married three times = dealbreaker
Still married = dealbreaker
Financially irresponsible = dealbreaker
Smokes = dealbreaker
Lies = dealbreaker
Cheapskate = dealbreaker

Tell us again all the positive attributes that are just so overwhelming?

He's a walking deal breaker but she's responsible for this more than he is. These are all dealbreakers to her and yet she pursued a relationship with him with plans to change him.

when will women learn to stop trying to change men?!?

*shakes head*

Let's see....

Married three times = dealbreaker
Still married = dealbreaker
Financially irresponsible = dealbreaker
Smokes = dealbreaker
Lies = dealbreaker
Cheapskate = dealbreaker

Tell us again all the positive attributes that are just so overwhelming?