is she a flake or just has really bad judgement?


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nestacpt is offline nestacpt Post #1  January 22,2012, 1:32pm
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flaky or is it me?
Hi,
just got out of a 2 month short term relationship..if it was even that.
Met her on eharmony. We hit it off.. spent the holidays together. She always said she had little time..takes care of her parents, works two jobs..

initially saying she could only see me every other week.

this girl has been through bad relationships..cheated on..lied to..etc..so she claims and she flat out tells me she is damaged within the first 2 weeks of dating her.

toward the end of the short term relationship, having met the family, friends and what not, she tells me one day 10 days ago, if were were to ever get married she knows the ring she would want and that she loves me..really infatuated with me...Im guessing love at this stage means infatuation..

so last week she goes on about the ring.. then during the weekend she tells me shes going to be going to school in the spring/summer to pursue a career in criminal justice.. a grad degree. Then she says she will likely become a hermit while in school, working full time and going to school full time, having little time for us..if any.

A week later she calls me up and says listen I dont have my [profanity deleted by moderator] together as I thought I would.. It has nothing to do with you but I don't have the time to give you in a relationship at this time. Its not fair to you to see me once a week when it should be more like 2-3 times a week and I just can't do it right now.
So she breaks it off..

So in a 10 day span, she went from, "he'll support me while im in school..I know what kind of ring I want if we were to ever get married," to lets be friends for now and see what happens later..

this girl had deep insecurities from the get go.. body dysmorphia, low selt esteem , was paranoid..etc

She even said to me once over the phone, I dont know if I deserve a nice guy??

Im guessing this girl really was a bit of a headcase...

she flip flopped a lot with her thoughts and gave me some mixed signals..
Last edited by Sassafras54; January 22,2012 at 3:41pm. Reason: profanity deleted by moderator
 
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eharmonyjc is offline eharmonyjc Post #2  January 22,2012, 2:03pm
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She sounds like a hot mess based on your description. Tell us why you even care or want a relationship w/ her if she apparently has all of these issues?
 
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OlderButWiser0549 is online now OlderButWiser0549 Post #3  January 22,2012, 2:09pm
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nestacpt wrote :
...this girl has been through bad relationships..cheated on..lied to..etc..so she claims and she flat out tells me she is damaged within the first 2 weeks of dating her.
I would have bowed out right then and there. MAJOR red flag.

nestacpt wrote :
Im guessing this girl really was a bit of a headcase...
Gee, ya think?
 
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nestacpt is offline nestacpt Post #4  January 22,2012, 2:18pm
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eharmonyjc wrote :
She sounds like a hot mess based on your description. Tell us why you even care or want a relationship w/ her if she apparently has all of these issues?
I guess I was overlooking the issues..

This is the kind of girl I can see coming back and saying I miss you after doing this sort of thing..
 
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ForwardUntoDawn is offline ForwardUntoDawn Post #5  January 22,2012, 2:19pm
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Whoooa and I thought I meet some crazy people, run away, this is not a red flag, its an evacuation order
 
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LongLocks is offline LongLocks Post #6  January 22,2012, 2:21pm
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Run, Forrest, Run!!
 
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Goomph is offline Goomph — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  January 22,2012, 3:06pm
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It is not you .... I am very happy to read that you are out of this relationship. There are a lot of decent girls out there, I hope you will have better luck next time.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #8  January 22,2012, 3:18pm
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In between this, and your last post about her...Only seeing her less than 8 dates or so and all of this mess and drama....I'm hoping that you really are out of this....

Something tells me you still have one foot in the door...
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #9  January 22,2012, 3:29pm
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I'd find her too unattractive to continue to bother with.
 
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jme21 is offline jme21 Post #10  January 22,2012, 5:21pm
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The end result is purely based on what she already told you from the beginning...should come as no surprise. In the future, regardless of how YOU feel about them, you need to realize you can't change/fix a person and move on to someone who isn't so messed up.
 
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