A question of where I stand...


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bgwcl is offline bgwcl Post #1  January 20,2012, 7:19am
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OK, this will take a bit of explaining! There is someone who I'd love to start dating, but it's complicated.
I know her through mutual friends and I met her at a party in the summer of 2009. Now she, like me, is very quiet in social situations, so we didn't actually talk to one another, apart from saying goodbye at the end of the evening when a friend introduced us. I found her attractive straight away and I noticed something in her eyes when she looked at me. Anyway, I added her on Facebook and she immediately began talking; like, 9 times out of 10 when we were both online she'd talk to me. It was always her who'd initiate the conversation too, as I am never one to pester people (or they tire of you!) Soon afterwards, she gave me her number and we began texting all the time, though not at all suggestively, with her often texting first. We never really met up because, despite being from the same town, she goes to a university in a different part of the country. So, anyway, one night when she was home, she said she was going out with a few of our friends and invited me. When we went out, she avoided me like the plague! It's like I wasn't there at all, even though I caught her looking at me a few times. I left feeling rather downhearted indeed. A few nights later, however, we were texting again quite late at night, when out of the blue she asked me to "come for a walk". She told me her address, I went to meet her, and in the dead of night we walked around a local park together, just talking. At one point, we sat on a park bench under a light, and just looked at each other without talking. It was so lovely, and at the end of about 3 hours, we decided we should head home, so I extended my hand in a mock handshake, but she embraced me, warmly and tightly for a good thirty seconds. I asked her when I would see her again, and we both mentioned a party that was coming up. Since, with our friends, we've been on holiday together, and again she avoided me, even when we started down the same corridor, she turned and quickly went the other way; I can't imagine she's creeped out by me or anything like that, because it's always her who initiates talking to me. I'm quite pessimistic and usually assume no-one finds me attractive, but I can't deny that when she looks at me, she sees something in me. Where do I stand? Help!
 
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cristie86 is offline cristie86 Post #2  January 20,2012, 9:54am
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Man! She must really like you. Lol! You mentioned you were both "shyish" she can talk to you via internet and text but how often do you heart get voice? She probably doesn't know what to say or do when you can't be "yourselves" and people are looking. That night, she probably took some might pills, bit the bullet and asked you out. Have you tried asking her out? She's probably waiting for you do say something. At least that's what I took away from what you posted. Good luck!
 
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cristie86 is offline cristie86 Post #3  January 20,2012, 9:55am
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Hear her voice* sorry stupid auto correct!
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  January 20,2012, 9:59am
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You are one of her FB, texting and "when I'm bored / lonely" friends....It seems you have a crush on someone who sees you this way.
You have not asked for a real date...only been there for FB, texting, hanging out in groups or "needs company" times.
Good Luck...
bgwcl wrote :
I met her at a party in the summer of 2009.
I added her on Facebook and she immediately began talking; like, 9 times out of 10 when we were both online she'd talk to me.

she gave me her number and we began texting all the time, though not at all suggestively, with her often texting first.

We never really met up

When we went out, she avoided me like the plague!

A few nights later, however, we were texting again quite late at night, when out of the blue she asked me to "come for a walk". She told me her address, I went to meet her, and in the dead of night we walked around a local park together, just talking.

with our friends, we've been on holiday together, and again she avoided me
 
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Goomph is offline Goomph — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  January 20,2012, 10:00am
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Ask her out already ..... The ball is in your court and you are dropping it.
 
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Goomph is offline Goomph — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  January 20,2012, 10:01am
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But he said she avoids him in groups ...But keeps contacting him. To me that (in my limited experience) tells me that she probably likes him and is waiting for him to ask her out.

Wiseman2 wrote :
You are one of her FB, texting and "when I'm bored / lonely" friends....It seems you have a crush on someone who sees you this way.
You have not asked for a real date...only been there for FB, texting, hanging out in groups or "needs company" times.
Good Luck...
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #7  January 20,2012, 10:03am
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Agree:
Goomph wrote :
Ask her out already ..... The ball is in your court and you are dropping it.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  January 20,2012, 10:04am
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Wow...dude...can you be more passive and oblivious?

She's done everything but post a neon flashing billboard sign that she likes you and would like to go on a date with you. She even found the courage to ask you out and.....nothing at all from you. You were sitting on the park bench gazing into each others eyes, perfect, romantic.....and you didn't kiss her. You didn't just drop the ball, you threw it out of the game. I'm not surprised she avoided you next time because she likely felt like a fool chasing a guy who is so utterly uninterested in her.

Well the good news is that you can't fall any lower so you could just....you know...actually do something like ask her out and hope she is still interested. Sounds like she might be.
 
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Faraday is offline Faraday Post #9  January 20,2012, 10:15am
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DancingFool wrote :
Wow...dude...can you be more passive and oblivious?

She's done everything but post a neon flashing billboard sign that she likes you and would like to go on a date with you. She even found the courage to ask you out and.....nothing at all from you. You were sitting on the park bench gazing into each others eyes, perfect, romantic.....and you didn't kiss her. You didn't just drop the ball, you threw it out of the game. I'm not surprised she avoided you next time because she likely felt like a fool chasing a guy who is so utterly uninterested in her.

Well the good news is that you can't fall any lower so you could just....you know...actually do something like ask her out and hope she is still interested. Sounds like she might be.

No kidding. This poor girl. Are you waiting for her to do everything?? Grow a pair and ask her out.
 
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brokensmile76 is offline brokensmile76 Post #10  January 20,2012, 10:29am
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I agree with the others, ask her out already. Her avoiding you sounds like she just might be getting tired of chasing you around and losing interest. That shy business is only cute for so long. In the end, we want a man with a pair! Just ask her out already! Good luck!
 
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