ArabicEyes is offline ArabicEyes Post #21  January 21,2012, 6:50am
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I'm very confused, if you feel so strongly about not cohabiting before marriage why do it in the first place. Compromises work if both parties have to make them. He doesn't have to do any work to keep you. It's common sense to delay.
 
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cristie86 is offline cristie86 Post #22  January 21,2012, 7:03am
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It's not that I don't think people shouldn't get to know the people they're going to marry. The issue is in when, like everyone, including myself, have said, getting comfortable with the situation and the amount of time if takes to get married. I'm glad that I lived with him for some time; however, I don't think we need MORE time to figure out anything. Either we're getting married (soon) or not at all but remaining in this situation is BS. THAT is what I'm not comfortable with. I've explained it plenty of times during the thread...
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #23  January 21,2012, 7:47am
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Agree it is not a good situation for you or your children, only him. While you are away, do consult an attorney (your own, not his or whoever drew up that home payment thing)... Get your facts straight about continuing on in this way.

Obviously he has no incentive...it stacked to his favor /advantage completely. He is also being nagged by his mother about this.....

Pointing out family weddings / talking about that and rings, etc. is not working and in fact working against it...since deep down he thinks they are silly....

Getting advice from an attorney is better in both ways...it informs protects you........and speaks with intelligence /action to your BF....rather than waiting for the romantic ring proposal wedding TV nonsense....Good Luck..[QUOTE=cristie86;1483323 I don't think we need MORE time to figure out anything. Either we're getting married (soon) or not at all but remaining in this situation is BS. THAT is what I'm not comfortable with[/QUOTE]
 
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cristie86 is offline cristie86 Post #24  January 23,2012, 7:42am
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Wiseman, at this point, I've decided to drop the subject but I can honestly say that I don't know what's in our future but like another member, he's not respecting my feelings when it comes to how I see marriage. Maybe he thought we'd be broken up by now or maybe he figured that I wouldn't want to get married after a certain amount of time; the one thing that I know is that I will not give up what I believe in for someone who has no respect for it. Sadly, I can foresee this to end soon.

I will consult with a lawyer and try to get all custodial issues hammered out so that when the house of cards comes crashing down, I would have taken care of my children and I.

Thanks for your advice though. I really appreciate it!
 
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cristie86 is offline cristie86 Post #25  January 23,2012, 7:44am
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Oh! One more thing, the funny thing is that I'm not the one that points out rings and compares relationship, it's him. "I want to get a big ring" "I want to do it right the first time" "Look at so-and-so, they dated 10 years before getting married" "I want a big wedding"... THIS is the main issue. Too many excuses!
 
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