Is it ever OK to date a friend's ex?


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Buck is online now Buck Post #11  January 19,2012, 8:29pm
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cristie86 wrote :
Wow! Buck, I think I'd probably run off into the woods at that point. Lol! If you hadn't been drinking, I would've asked how it was, but thats probably a minor detail you've overlooked... Lol!
Are you kidding? I wasn't going to miss a second of this adventure. Sadly, Jerry Springer was nowhere to be found. LOL
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #12  January 19,2012, 9:11pm
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The only time I would consider dating the ex of a friend is if one of two things were to be true. Either 1) I did not know the person was their ex or, 2) My friend was completely, absolutely, 100% OK with us seeing each other.

I had a friend that almost crossed that line with me. The guy and I had recently broken up and someone with a stirring stick tried to get them chatting on the phone (this was before IM was popular). I told her why I thought it wasn't OK and she agreed. Funny thing, she actually had dated two other men I had dated before her. One ended up cheating on her and the other I'm not sure what happened. The other two guys she met without knowing I had dated them. I couldn't complain about them. The first guy was my boyfriend while I was her next door neighbor.
 
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dmi is online now dmi Post #13  January 19,2012, 9:41pm
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cristie86 wrote :
Good afternoon Faraday and Lucid! How is Canada today?

I don't think that I would date a friend's ex. Mostly, because I think my friends (all 3 of them) have horrible taste in me, IMO. One is dating my brother (ewww), another is into "thugs" and the other likes men that would do WHATEVER she asks. I don't know that I have my own "type" but if I did, those aren't it!

Would asking permission before hand be any easier? I guess the "ackwardness" of the situation would always be there, huh? Imagine the wedding!!!
Amusing typo...

Pass on this, just too awkward, plus I wouldn't want to mess up a long time friendship over this.
 
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cristie86 is offline cristie86 Post #14  January 20,2012, 2:52am
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DMI, yup! Thanks! Horrible taste in men!
 
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Special-K is offline Special-K Post #15  January 20,2012, 4:10am
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Interesting topic, as I have two friends who each thought it would be okay to date the ex of one of their friend's. Two friends from two different states interested in dating two different men, for clarification. Both asked me my opinion...

... it's WRONG on every level!
 
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livinagin is offline livinagin Post #16  January 21,2012, 5:39am
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I dated a friend's ex once. I didn't know he was an ex until later. My friend swore that this was okay with her. And then, since the ex and she were still friends, she became involved in the relationship from both sides. It was like having a three-way relationship -- I don't have to tell you that didn't work!
 
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wagonnut is offline wagonnut Post #17  January 21,2012, 6:18am
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BikerBeagle wrote :
Nope ...at least not if you plan to continue being friends.

There are 6 billion people on the planet, one or two of them won't be your friends' ex ...
Well, I actually married my friend's ex-wife. But then she cheated on me too! And yes, he and I are still friends.
 
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Reverse_Dragon is offline Reverse_Dragon Post #18  January 21,2012, 9:44am
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I suppose it depends... how 'ex' are we talking about here? In general, I would say no. Sounds like a bad idea to me, for all of the reasons mentioned so far and more.

There may be exceptions... but know in advance you are treading dangerous ground.
 
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MileHighArtist is offline MileHighArtist Post #19  January 22,2012, 7:30am
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If it was the ex of a close/best friend then I wouldn't date her. A friendship like that isn't worth risking, and in the long run is more valuable then any potential relationship.

If it were the ex of more of an acquantince or friend of a friend that I only socialized with occasionally then I may be inclined to date her.
 
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