Relationships & Money Arrangements


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cristie86 is offline cristie86 Post #1  January 18,2012, 7:14am
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I read an article that described four couples who have managed their finances differently but still managed to get to their finance "goals".

One couple, put all their money into ONE account from where bills were paid and they each received $150/month to spend however they pleased.

Another, maintained COMPLETELY separate finances to the point where neither of them knew what the other made. Paid the bills 50/50 and it's pretty much every man (and woman) for themselves.

Another, was them putting their money into 1 account and he would pay everything because she was HORRIBLE at managing their expenses. He gives her $20/week to spend on herself.

The last couple came up with an equation to be "fair". He made 40% more than she did so he pays for 40% more than she does in the house.

Each one has their own success story when it comes to finances but I'm just curious as to which one would work best for you?
 
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jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #2  January 18,2012, 10:38am
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My intention, once married is to just dump all our money into a joint account and pay bills out of it. I make a lot more than my girlfriend but I don't care. Once all bills are paid and savings contributions are met I'd imagine we'd both just take an "allowance" for our own small personal expenditures. If we do end up married (I'm ring researching/shopping now )I don't want money to be an issue. In a true partnership such as the way I see marriage, what's mine is hers and vice versa. While we haven't really discussed this yet in detail, I do get the sense that we'd be on the same page.
 
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jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #3  January 18,2012, 10:39am
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I'd add that I don't like the sounds of 100% separate finances. It just doesn't seem like a real marriage to me if you're not really joining your lives together.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #4  January 18,2012, 10:53am
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Now I'm wondering whether Christie works for EHA with all the 'hypothetical' threads you are starting every day I've never seen this with a regular member....come on...spill it...you can tell us...LOL
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #5  January 18,2012, 11:23am
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Ingy, I was wondering the same thing.
 
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cristie86 is offline cristie86 Post #6  January 18,2012, 12:00pm
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I have no idea what you're talking about... La di da la... Anywho, I'm just a naturally curious individual. That can't be my reason for the questions? Sheesh.. Lol!

Jimmy, congrats on your engagement, although a but premature. Good luck! I also agree with you that COMPLETELY separate accounts makes it seems less like a marriage. Right now, my boyfriend and I have our own accounts and 1 joint account for bills and such, but once we get married, things might change.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  January 18,2012, 4:45pm
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I'd say option two is most appropriate for me. ("Another, maintained COMPLETELY separate finances to the point where neither of them knew what the other made. Paid the bills 50/50 and it's pretty much every man (and woman) for themselves.")

Although I would expect to know my partner's income, I don't want to get into petty argument over how someone "should" spend what they earned (since the earnings are a dependant variable to motivation, and yet motivation is a dependant variable to earnings.)

Anything germane to divorce law will be available to me and analyzed, of course.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  January 18,2012, 6:20pm
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I would want a mixture of sorts. There must be some co-mingling of finances for large purchases. The everyday stuff can be from individual accounts. 401(k)s, other retirement accounts, pensions, etc, should be looked at on a case by case basis.

My parents do a lot of co-mingling and a lot of separate stuff. My mom will refer to any money my father brings into the house as "his" money and won't argue with him about how he chooses to spend it. When he won a sizable lump sum, it was his and only his. No input was offered from her. He obviously didn't go and blow it, but applied a lot to the household bills and spend some on his personal hobby (restoring a vintage vehicle). When you look at their individual retirement accounts she is in a much better position than he is. But, they live off the pension/retirement money from his job, as she is just now hitting the age where she can pull money from those accounts without penalty.
 
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Michelle1983 is offline Michelle1983 Post #9  January 18,2012, 10:54pm
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I think it depends significantly on the spending habits of the people involved. I'm a big saver so if I was with someone who was a big spender (and to that matter, I'm not sure I even could be as financial views are big on my list of what I look for in a guy), I would definitely be doing a joint bills/house expenditures account and separate spending accounts.

Then I'd have agreements based around how high an expenditure would be in order to consult the other person.
 
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boomer_gal is online now boomer_gal Post #10  January 18,2012, 11:18pm
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I was bitten pretty badly financially during my marriage. To the point where I would be quite skittish about even getting married (quite an unlikely event, in any case). My ex ran up tens of thousands of dollars of debt, cleaned out the kids' college fund, etc. So I currently find myself in the camp of limited co-mingling of funds.
 
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