brokensmile76 is offline brokensmile76 Post #1  January 17,2012, 4:00pm
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Hi all,

I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now. Things have been pretty smooth sailing for the relationship despite his ex-gf messaged me on Facebook to start drama but other than that, things are good. We have good trust in one another and we are in love.

I'm not totally bothered by something that happened last week but I guess I am just looking for some sort of reasoning as to why some women will hit on a man even if it's pretty darn obvious they are taken.

Last week, my bf and I were having a nice dinner out. I hadn't seen him in a week (he lives 2 1/2 hours away) and he's grabbing my hands from across the table and kissing them, telling me things like "Have I told you how beautiful you are today?" I dunno, looks pretty darn obvious we are together and that I am not his sister, mother, cousin, best friend or anything less than a significant other. Anyhow, I get up to use the restroom and when I return to the table he is putting his jacket on and had paid the ticket already. I was gone like 3 minutes! So as soon as I return to the table, we leave and walk past a table behind ours that has our male waiter now sitting down with 2 female waitresses that work there.

My bf says "hey, thanks a lot man" and reaches out his hand to shake our waiter's hand (because my guy is just super friendly like that). Apparently one of the females says "See you in Hawaii" (which I didn't hear but he told me later what that was about.

My bf said all through dinner he could see out of the corner of his eye that a female sitting at the table behind me was staring at him. He was looking me in the eyes a good 90% of the dinner so I know he wasn't staring at her and giving her mixed messages or anything. Well, he said when I went to the restroom he heard one of the females ask if he wanted to go to Hawaii. To humor her he said "Oh, yea. I love Hawaii" as she proceeded to tell him that she was serious and that a bunch of her friends were going to Hawaii and asked him again if he wanted to go. He replied with "I'm always up for Hawaii but you know, I should probably take my girlfriend" and she responded with a "Pfft" sound. He said when she said that he thought Aww man, I need to get out of here. At that point I came out of the bathroom to find him eager to go.

After he told me this I couldn't help but think what kind of woman does that? She'd have to be pretty stupid to not see me or see our romantic dinner conversation. I think she just plain didn't care! Maybe she's one of those that thinks she is better than anyone else, maybe its a game to her to see if she can steal a man, I dunno. What gives?
Last edited by brokensmile76; January 17,2012 at 4:05pm.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  January 17,2012, 4:25pm
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That would be your "mate poaching." Women like men more when they have a partner ... or maybe like men less when the don't?

In the case of waitresses, though, it's probably not real, but just a way to make more money off the men. (When I go to a low-end restaurant alone, female waitstaff always but their hands on me, sit at the table, etc. Such feeble, obvious exploitation is deplorable, but it is common.)
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #3  January 17,2012, 5:31pm
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I think you should pay attention to how often things like this happen in your presence without you noticing it at all. Some men make things up. You should at least consider that possibility.
 
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Reverse_Dragon is offline Reverse_Dragon Post #4  January 17,2012, 6:41pm
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This does happen quite often in my experience. My pet theory is that the constant competition in sports, finances, and sexual conquests that men engage in is limited in many women to flirtation and interpersonal politics.
 
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cristie86 is offline cristie86 Post #5  January 17,2012, 6:50pm
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I don't know that I believe that entire story. How about if you go out with your girlfriend you don't try and play with other females that MAY be hitting on you? If he really wanted to play with her, why didn't he wait for you to come back, call her over and said something like "hey, this is my girl, how do you think she'll look on the beach in Hawaii" Look into that story again...

And I don't think I would totally dismiss harnomygirl's comment. Coming from a family with 9 brothers, I know they can make up a story or 2 to seem more important...
 
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Reverse_Dragon is offline Reverse_Dragon Post #6  January 17,2012, 6:53pm
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Absolutely. Guys will lie endlessly about their conquests, usually out of insecurity. She says she heard some of this though, and it's always easier to assume people are telling the truth on these boards. Not because they are, but because I find it difficult to operate on the opposite assumption.
 
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cristie86 is offline cristie86 Post #7  January 17,2012, 7:00pm
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I totally agree with you, Dragon.

And OP, you should look into the fact that if your man is hot, there's about 5 women out there thinking he can do better than you at any given time. Some females are just nasty little girls that didn't get enough of daddy's attention growing up.

It could have been anyone's play here, you were in the bathroom and you just will never know. Let this 1 go but keep your eyes open next time. You'll never know when someone wants to take him to Cancun next.. Lol!
 
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brokensmile76 is offline brokensmile76 Post #8  January 17,2012, 7:49pm
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I know he gets gawked at. I caught 3 women at the same table turn around at Chipotle one afternoon and caught them all staring at him at once. It was almost as if they recognized him. Like he was someone's boyfriend they knew personally or a guy that went to their church. Something like that and it was me, my bf and his 2 boys. He didn't see them check him out but I did. I just did what a good gf does and sits next to her man all smiling!

He's a good looking guy and he weight lifts; like me, so he's in real good shape. I know he's gonna get looked at because he's very attractive, he's tall and he has an amazing body. He also is a huge jokester and he's friendly to just about anyone so he makes himself all that more approachable.
 
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brokensmile76 is offline brokensmile76 Post #9  January 17,2012, 7:54pm
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cristie86 wrote :
I don't know that I believe that entire story. How about if you go out with your girlfriend you don't try and play with other females that MAY be hitting on you? If he really wanted to play with her, why didn't he wait for you to come back, call her over and said something like "hey, this is my girl, how do you think she'll look on the beach in Hawaii" Look into that story again...

And I don't think I would totally dismiss harnomygirl's comment. Coming from a family with 9 brothers, I know they can make up a story or 2 to seem more important...
That's true, unless he didn't really want me to know he was even responding to her. he didn't tell me what happened immediately either. He told me about it after we went on a walk on the beach and I brought up something about a little jealousy is good and he said something like "well, yea everyone has a little bit of jealousy in them". Then I said something about how I am oblivious to women flirting with my man infront of me and that's when he brought up the whole incident.

Reverse_Dragon wrote :
Absolutely. Guys will lie endlessly about their conquests, usually out of insecurity. She says she heard some of this though, and it's always easier to assume people are telling the truth on these boards. Not because they are, but because I find it difficult to operate on the opposite assumption.
I would probably agree with this but he is pretty secure with himself and doesn't care what anyone thinks of him.
 
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Lucid is offline Lucid Post #10  January 17,2012, 8:01pm
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Personally I think some women just flirt to make themselves feel better even if they know they don't have a leg to stand on. Sometimes the guy will reciprocate and other times they won't. It's when they reciprocate that they get to feel better about themselves.

Take this with a grain of salt. Trust your man to do the right thing every time, you love eachother after all.
 
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