Reverse_Dragon is offline Reverse_Dragon Post #21  January 17,2012, 7:06pm
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w00t w00t! I is getting married! Success at last.

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Been there.

Sounds to me like she wants to keep you as her 'Man under glass'.

You know... break in case of emergency? I'd hear her out, but you owe it to yourself and to her to be totally clear about what YOU want. Tell her you are looking for a real relationship, that you are willing to take it slow but that you need to have a clear understanding of what you are going slow towards.
 
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OuterSpaceAlien is offline OuterSpaceAlien Post #22  January 17,2012, 7:36pm
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You should probably read my other thread. Sounds like exactly what happened to me with a nurse I was dating. However I just wasn't experienced enough to notice it for what it was. I should have asked for clarification. I now know why she said 'take things slow' in such a back-handed guarded fashion on date #2. On date #3 talking about her ex-boyfriend pretty much confirms it. Like another poster mentioned probably holding a torch for somebody. Of course I'll never really know for sure.

Good grief I hope I don't become jaded and bitter the longer I continue dating. I might need therapy. It's freakin' exhausting.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #23  January 18,2012, 6:47am
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It does have all the earmarks of how she is still "recovering" from a former relationship, yet wants to "go out" and have a shoulder to cry on or distraction.

Agree:
OuterSpaceAlien wrote :
I now know why she said 'take things slow' in such a back-handed guarded fashion on date #2.
On date #3 talking about her ex-boyfriend pretty much confirms it. Like another poster mentioned probably holding a torch for somebody.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #24  January 19,2012, 8:12am
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is too happy

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Marle wrote :
Thanks to all for your comments. I believe that the majority here got it right. Interestingly, I got a text this PM. She apologized for today and said she was looking forward to seeing me this weekend and she wants to talk about what happen today and explain her "emotional fumbling" and freaking out.
I think I'd be tempted to give up at this point with someone like this. If not then I'd meet them and let them do most of the talking and if there wasn't rapid progress to adult behaviour/normality, it'd run.
 
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Marle is offline Marle Post #25  January 22,2012, 10:33am
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ready for some sunshine. No, I'm not talking about the weather!

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psgcooldog wrote :
Well, do come back and tell us the rest of the story, eh?

Well I won't bore you with details. Friend zone it is. Moving on.
 
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blakehoo is offline blakehoo Post #26  January 22,2012, 3:57pm
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As a matter of fact, I am

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Marle wrote :
Well I won't bore you with details. Friend zone it is. Moving on.
Do let us know when she calls...
 
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Marle is offline Marle Post #27  January 22,2012, 8:00pm
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blakehoo wrote :
Do let us know when she calls...
Not expecting her to. She seemed very indignant paying for her half.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #28  January 23,2012, 11:46am
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I'm impressed.
 
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Shelaw is offline Shelaw Post #29  February 5,2012, 4:34pm
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DancingFool wrote :
...The long answer is that no person in their right mind who is truly into you will ever tell you that they want to take things slow, you should date others, they are still dating others, ..... Never, not in a million years.
I disagree. In fact, I KNOW first hand that a woman might very well say, "I want to take things slow, and that includes dating others right now."

I am dating a man (Guy #1) who I really, really like. A lot. But I'm experienced and wise enough to know that because I do have high hopes, the best thing I can do for myself is take it slow and keep dating someone else who also interests me (but on a lesser scale so far).

I'm not comparing the guys or holding on to one in case I lose the other, etc. I'm simply taking time to get to know each gentleman. By dating both guys, it's also easier to hold off on taking it to the level of sexual intimacy. I won't "go there" without a monogamous commitment, and as much as I'd love to get naked with Guy #1, like I said, I REALLY want this to work out for us. As soon as sex is involved, emotions (for women, particularly) can get tangled up with the rational brain and blind a person to red flags or other points of incompatibility.

So, sometimes a woman wants to move slowly and date others BECAUSE she is really into a man. Whatever the case may be, the "solution" (if needed) is to be honest and communicate your feelings clearly, without the mixed signals that are involved with the original post. In his case, I agree: Move on. She's using you for companionship, at your expense.
 
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Mariyole is offline Mariyole Post #30  February 6,2012, 7:59pm
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I see 2 possibilities here: she wants to be friends first and see if you grow on her or she wants a non-romantic relationship with you. If it is not frustrating for you you can try out the 'friends first' route. If you can catch yourself becoming resentful though, you need to force yourself to stop seeing her.
 
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